The Wild Ones
by 1983Sunny
Summary: After 6 months in Europe Anastasia Steele returns back to her hometown Bellevue. Knowing Christian Grey all her life but thinking he is gay, she has given up hope that he will ever be more than a friend and her secret crush. But what happens when she finds out he is not gay, but is keeping a secret she never expected to uncover. AU/OOC/HEA/NO CHEATING
1. Chapter 1

**This idea came to me while I was trying to write a chapter for one of my other story and I had to write it down. Not sure if it's going to be a long or short story, but if enough of you are interested, I will continue it and see where this story will go. Though, I won't be able to write another chapter until March 15th as I have a lot going on right now. So, let me now if you want more ;-)**

**Ana**

I wake up and stretch with a big smile on my face. I arrived back home late last night after traveling through europe for almost 6 months. My family thinks I won't be back until monday, but I came back a couple of days early to surprise them. I look at the clock on my nightstand and realize that I have slept for 10 hours straight. It's already 10 in the morning and though it is Saturday, I know that no one will be home. Our housekeeper has the weekends off, my younger sister Anya usually meets with friends for breakfast on Saturdays, my parents go out for breakfast and I don't think my older brother will be around as he lives in the city now and works together with his best friend Elliot Grey.

So, I decide I don't need to change out of my short silk nighty and just make my way into the kitchen with my dogs Angel and Ace following me downstairs. In the kitchen I fill their bowls and switch the radio on singing along to _Rihanna's Man Down_ and dancing through the kitchen while fixing my breakfast.

"While I don't mind the show, I would like to know who the fuck you are and why you are dancing around in parents kitchen!" I hear the stern voice of my older brother Cooper and freeze. I turn around and blush from head to toe. Great just my luck, I'm in my shortest nighty and danced around like a go-go dancer while not only my brother but also his best friends Elliot and Christian Grey were watching me.

"Ana? Hell, we didn't expect you until monday!" he exclaims and pulls me into a bear hug.

"So, when did you arrive and who are those two?" he ask when he let's go off me and points to my dogs.

"I came back late yesterday evening and those two are my new dogs. The black one is Ace a french bulldog I bought him in england and the other one is Angel she is a mix breed of beagle and pug I bought her in germany, they kept me company while traveling."

"Dad will freak out, you know no pets." he smirks.

"I don't care, I'm looking for my own place anyway and those are my babies, where I go they go too."

"You want to move out? Wow, not sure what dad will say about that, but you will stay in Seattle, right?"

"Yes, I want to look at some apartments downtown next week. It's close to campus and while I was in europe I thought a lot about my future and decided that I want to make my master degree in literature and start to teach at a college after that."

"Sounds great" he says and suddenly he takes his sweater off and tells me to put it on giving Elliot who is checking me out a dirty look.

I put it on quickly and turn to Elliot and Christian. Elliot pulls me in a bear hug too and I give Christian a quick hug. Other than Mia, I am the only person who is allowed to hug him. I know Christian has issues about touching, but since he is the son of our neighbors I have known him all my life and just like Mia, who was adopted as a baby by the Grey's, I didn't understand his boundaries as a baby and toddler and would just hug him and touch his back and chest, which are usually the forbidden areas. He doesn't mind, though I noticed that since I'm no longer a kid he has put some distance between us.

We sit down and I take my bowl with oatmeal with me. "Urgh, since when do you eat oatmeal for breakfast?" Cooper asks looking at my food with disgust.

"Since I was in england, I hated it as a kid, but I thought I could try porridge and loved it, this is even better. You should all try it, it's really good with peaches in it" I push the bowl to the middle of the table, but Elliot and Cooper shake their heads while Christian takes a closer look takes the spoon and tries it.

"That's good, what else is in there, it taste's different from the oatmeal I had before."

"Just a spoonful of honey and a little bit of apple sauce and cinnamon. You can keep it, there is enough left." I tell him and get up fill the rest of the oatmeal in a small bowl slice a peach, put it in and sit down again.

"Do Mia and Kate know that you are back?" Christian asks and my face falls. Mia, Kate and I were best friends as long as I can remember, but neither of them is talking to me since a week after we graduated 6 months ago.

"Come on Ana, what is wrong, why aren't you talking anymore?" Elliot probes and I sigh.

"After graduation, when we went to that cabin for the weekend something happened. The first night we drank a lot and had a really good time. Later that night when I was already sleeping I woke because I felt someone climb into the bed with me. When I switched the light on I saw it was Ethan. At first I thought he was just drunk and accidentally went into the wrong room. But when I told him to get his naked ass out off my bed he told me that he wanted me since highschool and that we never had to tell Mia, that he actually is just dating her so he could be closer to me. I told him to get lost and that what ever he thought would happen was never going to happen. He left my room and the next day he acted like nothing happened. I've spent the rest of the weekend thinking about a way to tell Mia. When I did she got pretty mad, at first I thought at him, but she was mad at me. She stormed out talked to Kate and Ethan and they came back telling me that I'm a lousy friend and that Ethan had told them how I tried to seduce him on any given chance and that I only did it to hurt Mia, because I am jealous and miserable because the guy I have a crush on isn't even looking my way. Next thing I knew was they left and I had to call a cab to get me to the next train station."

"I fucking knew it" Christian spits out and slams his fist on the table. Oh my god, I know all the color has just drained from my face. Does he know that he is the guy I have had a crush on since I'm 15?

"Knew what Christian?" Elliot asks.

"That this fucker Ethan was eye fucking Ana while dating our little sister. Is that why he came to see you in france?" Christian asks me and I'm stunned. How the hell does he know that Ethan showed up in france?

"Wait a second, how do you know that Ethan showed up while I was in france, Christian?" I ask and bless him he actually blushes.

"Fuck Ana, look at you, you are what? 5'2 and have about 115 pounds, do you really think I would let you travel through europe without any protection? I had security on you the entire time." he says and he looks sickeningly pleased with himself.

"That's crazy Christian, why would I need security?"

"Oh, you wanna go there. Fine, let's see how about that one time in spain when you went to a beach party or should I say orgy and that guy came on to you and nearly shoved his junk in your face, who do you think was the guy who told him to fuck off. Or when you where in London and decided to visit that night club wearing next to fucking nothing and danced on a pole, who do you think made sure that you wouldn't find yourself as the unwilling star of a gang bang. You want me to continue?" he says arrogance personified and I glare at him.

"No, thank you very much, but you do realise that this is major creepy."

"Honestly Anastasia, you don't want to go there, your behavior on your journey was appalling. There were numerous times were I was really tempted to get my jet ready fly down to wherever you were spank the shit out of you and take you back home."

"Oh my god, are you kidding me? Honestly Christian, you act as if you were my father."

He snorts. "Believe me Anastasia, if I was your father, you wouldn't have gone to europe on your own in the first place and while we are at it, I have scheduled you an appointment with one of the leading gynecologists in Seattle. Since I have been informed that you took several men to your hotel room while you traveled, I want to make sure you didn't catch any STD's"

I just look at him, mouth open and eyes wide. The audacity! "Have you lost your fucking mind?" I snap and push to my feet. He is crazy!

"Sit your ass down right now! If you decide to open your legs for any guy that comes your way there is not much that I can do about it, but what I can do is making sure you don't end up sick!" he snaps and that's it. I lose it, big time.

"Hell, maybe you are sick, you know I've heard if you get lues and leave it untreated long enough you end up getting crazy. So, are you sure you didn't stick it to the wrong guy..." I stop immediately and the silence in the room is deafening. Oh my god, I said it. I mean we are all suspecting that Christian is gay and just hasn't come out of the closest yet, but no one, not even his parents or siblings ever dared to ask him.

Christian gets up from his chair and fixes me with his gaze while I'm frozen to the spot. He looks so pissed I almost expect him to punch me, but instead he grabs me and pushes me against the kitchen counter, lifts me up so I'm sitting on it and before I know it his lips are on mine and when I gasp in surprise his tongue pushes into my mouth. I have never been kissed like this in my life, well I have only been kissed once before and definitively not like this. While he his kissing me as if his life is depending on it he grabs my hips and pulls me even closer making me feel the very impressive bulge in his pants. And just when I think I'm going to pass out or wake up because surely this is just some crazy dream, he stops and glares at me.

"Tell me Anastasia just how gay was that?" he growls, but at the same time gently pushes a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

Before I can even answer him, he turns on his heel and leaves. Still trying to catch my breath I look at Elliot and Cooper who are both gaping at me wide-eyed and open-mouthed.

What in the world was that?


	2. Chapter 2

**Hi guys! First, thank you all so much for your reviews/favs/follows and for being so patient to wait until now for chapter two. While I didn't have the time to write I thought about where to go with this story and I hope you will like it. A little warning, this story will be short, not more than 20 to 25 chapters. Before I start I wanted to answer some questions.**

** Yes, this story and all of my other stories will have a HEA. **

**One of you wanted to know what please continue this story in german means. lol - bitte, mach weiter mit dieser Geschichte :-) **

**About the ages of the characters - Ana is 22, Christian is 28, Elliot and Cooper are 30, Mia and Kate are 22, Ethan is 23 and Ana's younger sister Anya (by the way inspired by my sister who is called Anja) is 16. **

**Is Christian the same control freak billionaire? - Yes, he is. He has the exact same back story as in FSOG, but there is a little twist to his character, which will be revealed later in the story. **

**Is Ana a virgin? - Yes, she is, but I won't give away why she took all those men to her hotel room while traveling Europe... **

**Christian's POV - Yes, you will get Christian's POV, but not before the shit hits the fan, big time. So the first 8 to 10 chapters will be solely from Ana's POV **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong the lovely E.L. James, the storyline however is mine.**

_** Ana**_

I can't believe this really just happened. Christian just kissed me. Me! I get off the counter and have to grab it because my knees are like Jello and Cooper quickly helps me to a chair.

"Did he just ... have you ... am I awake?" I stutter not able to form a complete sentence and Elliot starts laughing.

"Well fuck me, who would have thought that my little bro actually likes girls." he laughs and Cooper glares at him.

"Hey, we are talking about my sister! And maybe he just kissed her to keep us from thinking he is gay."

"No way, damn it Cooper you saw him, he was dry humping her and left with a tent in his fucking pants, there was nothing gay about that. Shit, I don't do gossip, but I really want to call my mom and grandparents to tell them that Christian is perfectly normal. Fuck, I wonder why he never dated or wait, maybe the fucker does and just didn't tell us!" Elliot seems to be so happy about this, I almost expect him to do jump up and do a victory lap around the kitchen in celebration that his brother is not gay.

"Well, umm I think I should get dressed" I murmur and get up. "Wait, Ana come back here." Cooper calls me back and plop back down on my chair.

"Look, while I think Christian went way over the top by putting security on you and I will probably punch him for the way he talked to you ... but is it true what he said about you bringing guys to your hotel room?" Well fuck. I can't tell him the truth. It's too early and it will only put pressure on me to follow through, so I have no choice but to lie.

"Yes, I had guys coming to my room, but I'm 22 Cooper. So, it's none of your business. Ace, Angel come on" I call my dogs and hurry upstairs to my room. Shit, I hate lying to my brother, I never lie because it makes me feel really bad, but I'm not ready to tell the truth about those men. So, I will wait and tell him why they came to my room in 5 weeks when it's time.

In my room I strip out of my clothes and head into my en suite bathroom to take a shower. Maybe, I should just call Christian and ask him what this was all about, but I'm still mad at him for basically telling me that I'm a slut and how dare he to tell me that I have to go see a doctor. No, I better wait until I have calmed down to talk to him. Knowing my short temper and the fact that I quite often suffer from a brain to mouth filter malfunction I better wait until tomorrow.

After getting out of the shower I dry myself, put my robe on and get back into my room. Since I have put some weight on while being in europe, which I like, because now I'm a size 4 instead of 0 and I have some nice curves, I don't even look at the clothes in my closet and open one of my suitcases instead. I gather what I need take the robe off and just then the door opens and my parents, Grace and Carrick and Cooper come in.

"OUT!" I yell while awkwardly trying to cover myself with my arms and I know I am the deepest shade of red right now.

Great could this day get anymore worse? I look at my father, Carrick and Cooper trying to get out of the room with one hand covering their eyes and can't help but laugh when they are finally outside, while Grace and my mom stay in my room. I don't mind them seeing me naked. It's my mom and I know Grace all my life, plus they are girls, too.

I quickly put some panties and a bra on and pull a dress over my head so I'm decent. And that is all that takes for them to hurry over to me and hug me at the same time.

"Oh my god darling. I have missed you so much. I thought Cooper and Elliot were playing a prank on us saying you are already back home" my Mom says and of course she is crying.

"Mom, please no crying you set me off" I grin and she takes a handkerchief from her pocket to blow her nose, while Grace takes my hands and looks at me.

"Look at you sweetheart, so pretty. And you've finally put some weight on. You needed it, you were too thin, it worried all of us."

"Yeah, well, my '_I need to have size zero_' days are officially gone. Though I need to go shopping next week."

"I bet Kate and Mia will be delighted, you should call them and talk. I'm sure what ever happened between the three of you can be easily solved." Grace says and we all hear someone knock at my door.

"Are you decent, Ana?" Elliot calls from outside my room. "Yes, come in." I call out and he strolls into my room looking around.

"Hey, you wound me, no pictures of me" he says while looking at my wall with pictures.

"I think you need glasses, Elliot" I smirk and point to one of my favorite pictures. It was taken on Mia's fifteenth birthday. Elliot is giving Mia a piggyback ride while Christian is giving me one and we are all grinning like idiots. What is not shown is that a minute after that picture was taken those two idiots dropped Mia and I fully clothed into the pool.

"You need more pictures of me, I'm a good-looking guy, but hey maybe you want more pictures of Christian instead, after what happened earlier." he winks at me and I throw one of my pillows at him.

"Ana, what are you two talking about?" my mom asks and I blush.

"Umm... well, I kind of told Christian that I'm suspecting that he is gay and he kissed me and ... umm ... he is not gay" I murmur and both my mother and Grace gasp before Grace comes over to me and takes both my hands again.

"Are you sure darling?" she looks at me wide-eyed and I have no idea what to say, but of course Elliot has no problem with stating what happened.

"Mom, you should have seen it. First, even before he kissed her I could totally see that my dear bro has it bad for Ana. He acted like a first class jealous ass and you know Ana is the only one who doesn't take any crap from him so they started to lock horns and suddenly she told him that he might have stuck it to the wrong guy. Fuck me, it was epic you could see the steam coming from both their ears and then he grabbed her and they kissed, for a while the kitchen was almost x-rated." Elliot laughs.

"Really, he kissed you Ana and you don't think he is gay?" Grace is almost giddy with joy and I try hard not to laugh at her.

"Mom, he left with a tent in his pants. Believe me, he has it bad for Ana. Who would have thought, all those years we thought both of them were ga..." Elliot stops himself and now it's my turn to gape at them.

"Wait ... you all thought that I am a lesbian?" I ask and my mother wraps one arm around me.

"Well, darling, you never had a date and we ... umm ... at first we thought you are just a late developer, but as the years passed by ... well we thought you might have a special girl in your life and that you didn't know how to tell us." my mom looks really embarrassed and I have no idea what to say.

"Okay, umm... look, I know I never had a date, mom, but I am not a lesbian. In fact I know that I like boys, so don't worry about me. Jeez, why didn't you just ask me?"

"Ana, look that's not a question you ask so easily. I was worried you would feel pressured to come out of the closet or you wouldn't want to talk about it at all and this would ruin our good relationship." My mom looks like she is about to cry again, so I hug her.

"Don't worry mom, I'm not mad or anything. Just a little surprised. So, why don't you all give me a couple of minutes to get ready and I meet you downstairs." Grace and Elliot leave my room but my mom stops on her way out.

"Oh and darling, don't think I haven't noticed those two dogs you have here, your dad will throw a fit."

"No he won't, because he is too happy to have me back at home and you know, I have him wrapped around my finger." I smirk and she shakes her head clearly amused.

"That you have, darling." and with that she leaves. I get continue to get dressed and pull my hair into an easy up do before making my way downstairs to say hello to my daddy.

Later that day my parents have organized a welcome home dinner, with them, my siblings, my moms parents, my aunt Audrey and the Grey's. I am nervous. Not only will Christian be there, but also Mia and we haven't talked at all since Ethan-gate. I am really nervous, Mia was always my best friend. We know each other since I was born and this is the first time we are fighting or not talking. So when they arrive I decide it is best to face this situation head on and make my way over to Mia.

"Hi Mia." She turns around and eyes me from head to toe. "You gained weight" she says and I smirk.

"Yep, I know. So, can we talk or is this going to be a really awkward dinner?"

"Depends."

"Depends on what, Mia?" by now I know that Mia feels guilty because she is looking anywhere, but at me.

"If you can forgive me. Ethan confessed that it was all him. He didn't even like me much, he just needed a reason to hang out around you. I was so stupid Ana." and with that the flood gates are open and I hug her.

"It's not your fault, Ethan is an asshole. When did he tell you?"

"Yesterday, he broke up with me because he wants to try his luck with you now."

"Urghh, as if that would happen, like ever! I'm so sorry Mia."

"No, it's my fault. I trusted him more than you and that's what I got. Please tell me we can be friends again?" she gives me her patented Mia Grey puppy eyed look and I have to giggle.

"You know I can't stay mad at you if you look at me like that, but don't let a guy come between us again. Besides ..." I look around if anyone is listening, but no one is even looking in our direction. "... you know whom I like."

Hearing this Mia grins like a loon. "I know, oh my gosh Ana, did he really kiss you?"

"Yes, but I think he only wanted to proof that he is not gay."

"Oh come on! Since when does Christian give a shit what anyone thinks about him and Elliot told me that he has it bad for you. Oh my god, you need to talk to him, like right now!" she starts to shove me over to him, but I stop her.

"No! I can't, please Mia, I need to think about this, please?" I beg her, I so don't want to talk to Christian about this now. Not with my and his family around. Or maybe not ever ... shit I'm such a coward!

"Fine, but you have to do it. Maybe we end up being sisters in law!"

"Seriously Mia, it was just a kiss, don't start to plan my wedding just now" I laugh and she pouts.

"Why not, between the two of you your kids will look so pretty."

"Kids?!" I shriek and she laughs.

"Yes, you totally have the mommy gene. Seriously Ana, I always pictured you as a mom with at least 6 kids cooking tons of food and doing mommy stuff."

"Okay Mia, this conversation is getting really awkward, let's sit down and you can fill me in on all the gossip that I have missed while being in Europe." We sit down and for the next 45 minutes Mia goes on and on about Kate and her latest boyfriend, rumors about some of the girls we went to school with and the totally hot personal trainer she has met at her new gym. I really try to listen, but even without looking up I know that Christian is staring at me and it makes me really uncomfortable.

We have just finished our meal when Maggy, our housekeeper comes in. "I'm sorry Anastasia, but I think your dogs need to get out." she says and I'm glad that this gives me a chance to leave the table. I get their leashes and take them out for a walk.

"So, Mia and you are friends again?" I nearly jump out of my skin when I hear Christian's voice behind me.

"Shit Christian, I nearly pissed my pants, you can't just come up like that behind someone, you need to make noises like whistling or stomping your feet." I mutter and laughs.

"Apologies Miss Steele, I will try to keep that in mind."

"Apology accepted, oh and you should talk to Elliot, if he keeps gossiping like this tomorrows headlines at Seattle Nooz will read '_**Christian Grey kissed a girl**_'"

He snorts. "I don't give a fuck, but maybe I should after all you thought that I am gay." oh great now he sounds like a sulking teenager.

"I never saw you with a girl, so what was I supposed to think?"

"Well, I never saw you with a guy until you decided to become a slut and I never thought that you are lesbian!" he snaps and I can't believe he just said that.

"You think I'm a slut?"

"You traveled through 11 countries in a little less than six months and had at least two guys in each country come to your hotel room, that makes at least 22 guys in less than six months, so yes that is what I call a slut. Or can you give me any other reason why those men came to your room, Ana?"

I just stare at him. I want to tell him the truth, but I'm so hurt that he could think of me this way that I remain silent.

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Tell my parents I had to leave, I can't stand to look at the girl you've become" he says in disgust and walks away leaving me standing on the sidewalk with tears falling down my face.

And in this moment I decide if he thinks of me this way, if he really doesn't know me any better, then he doesn't deserve the truth...

_**So, this was chapter 2, please leave a review and tell me what you think so far. Updates will be weekly from now on and I have created a pinterest page for this story, the link in on my profile page...**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Because I had some time to write, I decided to post chapter three early. Since, I don't have the time to answer all your reviews by pm, I will try my best and answer questions in the A/N's before each chapter.**

**Is Christian into BDSM ? - Yes, he was introduced to it by Elena, just like in the books.**

**Is Ana doing drugs? - No, that's not why the guys came to her room**

**Is Ana a secret agent? - I love the idea, but no she's not. She went to Europe because she always wanted to travel through Europe on her own...**

**Is Ana in the publishing world yet? - No Ana has decided to go back to college and make her masters degree**

**Is Ana trying to become a tattoo artist and those guys were there to teach her? - No to the tattoos, but those men may or may not have been teaching her something ;-)**

**And of course, why did she have all those men in her room - well, still not going to reveal it just yet, but maybe this chapter will give you some clues. What I can say is, that actually it is a really sweet thing she is doing and something that will help her to overcome a traumatic event in her past, which her family and friends didn't see as traumatizing, but it has left Ana with some serious issues as an aftermath...**

_**Ana**_

" ... so Anastasia, after you told me all about your journey and the progress that you have made, why don't we come to what is really bothering you. For the last 45 minutes you seemed completely distracted."

I look up and glare at John Flynn. I've met him because he is Christian's shrink for years and three months before I went to Europe I decided that it was time for me to face my own demons and had my first appointment with him. I haven't told anyone and right now for the first time I hate that I ever decided to come here. It's like he can read me like an open book.

"Anastasia, I am here to help you, but in order to do so you have to be open with me."

"Fine, but you can't tell anyone!"

"You know I would never discuss anything you tell me with anyone else."

"Have you seen Christian this week?"

"No, in fact he is my next appointment."

"Great teach him not make stupid ass assumptions and walk all over other people's feelings." I mutter and he raises one brow, indicating that now he is really curious.

"What has he done to you?"

"First, he has put security on me the entire time I was in Europe."

"Oh, really?" John says and I have to laugh.

"Yeah right, you are a terrible liar John, so you knew that?"

"Again, I can't discuss what my other patients share with me Anastasia. So, please go on."

"Fine, so now he thinks that I had sex with all of those guys who came to my hotel rooms while I was traveling and he called me a slut and that he can't even look at me anymore." I explain to him and of course I start to cry again just thinking about the look on his face when he told me this. John hands me a box of tissues and I take one.

"Have you tried to explain it to him?"

"No, fuck him, if he thinks I'm a slut then so be it. And anyway what kind of medieval double standard is it that he calls me a slut because he thinks I had sex with some guys and at the same time he can sit with my brother and Elliot, listening to them going on about all the girls they have fucked and joking about it." Shit, now I'm getting angry again.

"Well Anastasia, you are right, it is a double standard that while men can have as many sexual partners as they like women still have to live with the stigmata of being a slut. But what is more important is that you are not one of those women and you could easily explain it to Christian."

"Why? Why do I have to explain myself? And anyway, he could still kiss me thinking that I'm a slut."

Hearing this John's eyes nearly pop out of his head. "He kissed you?"

"Yes, I kind of told him that I think he is gay and he grabbed me and kissed me."

"Did you have a panic attack?" he asks and I hate that he is going there.

"No, it ... it felt good. And also it happened so fast I didn't have any time to think, but it doesn't matter, he thinks I'm a slut and I am not going to try to convince him overwise."

"Why?"

"Are you kidding me, he knows me all my life, John. If he can even think of me this way then he doesn't deserve the truth and also I'm still not sure if I can go through with what I want to do and him or anyone knowing is just going to make me feel pressured into doing it and then it might end up becoming a total disaster." I stop and take some deep breaths, shit my palms are sweaty and I find it difficult to breathe.

"Anastasia, just focus on your breathing, there is nothing to worry about. This decision is solely yours and if you feel you are not ready in five weeks from now then you don't have to do it. There is no pressure on you to do anything you are not ready for." John's calm voice comes through to me and slowly I calm down again.

"Do you need a glass of water, Anastasia?"

"No, thank you John, I'm good. I need to leave, I'm meeting with a real estate agent, I'm going to move out and want to look at some apartments here in down town."

"Good, but I want to see you again next week. Clearly your panic attacks are still a problem for you and while I am still thinking you should at least tell your parents about it, I do understand that you need time."

I smirk at him, this is his way of telling me, you can't deal with everything on your own, Anastasia. But, the last thing I need is my parents knowing about my panic attacks. I haven't kept them a secret from anyone since my freshman year in highschool only to bring it up now.

I leave his office and ask his secretary for an appointment next week. "Is Tuesday at 2 pm fine with you, Miss Steele?"

"Yes, that's perfect. Bye Mona" I smile at her, turn around open the door and nearly bump into Christian who was about to enter the office.

"What are you doing here?" he snaps and that pisses me off again.

"That's none of your business, Christian." I snap back.

"I think it is, because John is my shrink!"

"Oh my god, really, well newsflash, you are not the only one with problems in this world Christian and now if you excuse me, I have an appointment."

"Getting laid by some random guy hardly qualifies as appointment, Anastasia" he says contempt dripping off his words and before I know what I am doing my palm lands with a loud smacking noise on his cheek and I have hit him hard enough to turn his head.

For a few awful seconds we just stare at each other both shocked. Oh my god, did I really just do that?

"I ... I didn't ... I ... " shit, I can't even form a single sentence, oh damn, why do I always act first and think later?

"Don't, I think now all is clear" he walks past me and slams the door to John's office shut. I want to run after him and tell him I am sorry, but I can't. Oh god, I'm going to be sick. I run out of the office and into one of the restrooms on the floor. I barely make it into one of the stalls before I have to throw up. When my stomach is empty I lean back against the wall and start to cry.

This is the first time in six months that I had a panic attack that was so bad that I had to throw up and I hate it. I have never in my life hit anyone, never and I always thought little of people who use violence against others and now I'm nothing better. Yes, what he said was cruel and absolutely unnecessary, but that doesn't justify what I did. I know I should go back and apologize, but I can't. I have seen it in his eyes, he hates me and hearing him say it would kill me. And of course I'm a coward, I don't think I will ever be able to look at him.

In the end I decide that I can't face Christian right now, if I do it I might end up projectile vomiting all over him and I really don't want to add utter humiliation to the list of fuck ups I already had today.

So, I get into the elevator and when I'm in the garage I hear someone call my name. I turn around and see that it is Jason, Christian's head of security.

"Hi Jason" I smile and hug him. I have known Jason ever since he started to work for Christian almost five years ago. He seems grumpy most of the time, but he is a really nice guy and I see him like an uncle. While I studied at the Seattle University I would sometimes sleep at Christian's when I had to stay late at the campus to learn and was too tired to drive back to Bellevue and he and Gail became like family to me during that time.

"Good to see that you are back in one piece, Ana. Will you come over soon, Gail can't wait to see you." he says as we hug.

"Yeah, well ... I don't think you will see me at Escala any time soon. Christian thinks I'm a slut and I just made it on the list with potential threats for his safety when I slapped him in the waiting room of Dr. Flynn's office."

"You did what?" his eyes widen in shock and I sigh.

"I didn't mean to slap him, Jason. It just happened, he said some really mean things and I lost it. I don't know Jason, it's like since I'm back I don't even know who he is anymore. He was never like that to me, I mean yes, Christian is quick to say what he thinks and it is not always nice, but he was never cruel. Right now, I don't think I want to have anything to do with him, well, it's not like after what I just did that I will be number on the list of people he wants to hang out with anyway."

"Ana, I wouldn't worry too much about slapping him, if he called you a slut, he had it coming. He should be ashamed to think of you that way." Jason says and I can tell that he is pissed at Christian.

"I don't know. Sorry, but I have to leave now, Jason. I'm meeting a real estate agent to look at some apartments. I want to move closer to the city. Please tell Gail that I will call her so we can meet when she has time."

"Sure, and Ana please don't beat yourself up over this, he will come around." Jason says and I hug him quickly and drive to the office of my real estate agent.

He shows me some of apartments around town and I pick four that I want to look at. One of them is at Escala and I'm not sure that I want to live in the same building as Christian, but then again Escala is one of the safest buildings in Seattle and even if I live there it doesn't mean that we will run into each other all the time. Plus, it's close to the campus and if I am accepted for my master studies I want to live close to the campus.

After looking at the three other apartments I know none of them is the right one for me. The first one had a huge spot with mold infestation on the ceiling in the bathroom. One would think if you are willing to spend 1.5 million dollar you wouldn't have to deal with such things, but as I learned today you do have to deal with shit like that. The second apartment was great, but five minutes of research on the way to next apartment showed me that in the past 10 years three women were raped in the garage of the building. _Thank you very much, but I already have to see a shrink, I don't want to add to my fucked upness. _

The third apartment was perfect, safe building, spectacular view over the city and Elliott Bay, and it was the closest to campus. But the interior was totally 80's and that would cost me at least another 500000 dollar out of the trust fond I inherited from my dad's parents. Not that I don't have the money, but if I'm willing to spend 1.5 million I want the apartment ready to move in and not in need of a complete remodeling that would cost me a huge amount of money and time, before I could move in. Also, I'm 22 so sometime in the next 10 years I will probably marry and move into a new home to start a family and then I have to sell the apartment and depending on the market I will most likely lose money selling it again.

So now there is only Escala left. Since Escala is a relatively new building I know it will be super modern and not in need of any changes except for some furniture. Secretly, I still hope that I will hate the apartment, but once I'm inside I have this feeling of being home. I really love the apartment, it is on the 16th floor, has two bedrooms, a beautiful balcony and the best part is that it only costs 580000 dollar. As I look around through the open kitchen and living room I know that I want to buy this place and before I can change my mind I tell my real estate agent that I want to buy it. Screw Christian, if he has a problem with me living at Escala, he can move else where, right now parts unknown would be my favorite place for him to move to.

After making an appointment with the agent for the next day to go through all the details he leaves and I stay back in the lobby to call my dad and ask him if he can come with me tomorrow to the appointment. He helps me with my trust fond since I gained control over it on my 21st birthday. I'm not good with all the financial stuff, but my Dad as CEO of Steele Furnishing knows all about money and financials, so he helps me with this kind of stuff.

I have just finished the call when I see Christian walking towards the entrance. Shit, I'm not in the mood for another confrontation, so I hide in one corner of the lobby and watch him walk towards the elevator. Suddenly I hear a familiar voice call his name, I turn around and frown. What the fuck is Elena Lincoln doing here? This woman really creeps me out. I know that she made a pass at both Cooper and Elliot when they were about 15 or 16, though they haven't told anyone because my mom, Grace and Elena are good friends and I only know it because I heard them talk about her, but since then I hate her with a passion. What kind of woman makes a pass at a boy half her age and more important an underaged boy?

I watch as Christian turns around and smiles as he sees her. But it is what happens when she reaches him that really freaks me out, because she reaches up to kiss his cheeks and as she does she touches his bicep in a really intimate manner. And in this moment I know it, they way they act together I know that either they are in a relationship or they were at some point. No wonder he never had a girlfriend. He was or still is fucking that creepy pedophile. I watch in horror as the step into the elevator and the doors close. Oh my god, I mean it's none of my business if he has a thing for older women, but everything inside of me tells me that this started at a point where he was way too young to know what he was getting himself into. Shit, what am I going to do now?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Just answering some of your questions first...**

**_Is Christian still with Elena? - No, their so called relationship ended when he was 21 just like in the books..._**

**_Has Ana been sexually assaulted in her past? - No, used that back story for her in two of my other stories, so this time it's something different..._**

**_How many subs did CG have and has he one currently? - He had 15 subs and no, he does not have a sub now._**

**_Is Ana taking self-defense classes? - No..._**

**_What does OOC and AU mean - OOC stand for out of character and AU for alternative universe..._**

_**Ana**_

I have no idea what to do. Ever since I saw Christian and Elena together this afternoon, I keep thinking about it. Maybe I was wrong and just tried to see something that in reality isn't even there, but everything inside me tells me that it is true. Shit, if it is true I don't even want to think about when this started.

I think back to my childhood and remember how often Christian was in trouble with brawling in school and I know he was drinking, too. Mia and I used to sneak out at night to meet for sleepovers in her treehouse. One night when I climbed over the fence into the Grey's backyard I found Christian lying under a tree, unconscious and covered in vomit. He was so pale, I thought that he was dead and started to scream bloody murder. He didn't even wake up, but my screams were loud enough to alarm both his and my parents.

My mom had to sleep in my bed with me that night, because since I never saw Christian waking up I was convinced that he was dead and I wouldn't stop crying. The next day he came over to talk to me and he promised me he wouldn't drink again. That promise held for about two weeks when he stumbled into the dinning room at Grace's birthday party, drunken out of his mind and throwing up all over the place only to pass out on the floor. After that I denied to talk to him for nearly six months. I was 8 years old by that time and I adored Christian, I was seriously hero worshipping him and for him to lie to me broke my heart.

After that his parents send him to Elena Lincoln's house to work in her backyard as a punishment. Miraculously his fighting and drinking stopped after that. Thinking about it now gives me a really bad feeling. He had just turned 15 when all of that happened. Fuck, what if that old bitch made him stop fighting in exchange for letting him fuck her. Urgh, only thinking about it seriously freaks me out. Maybe I should just call him and ask him. _Yeah, right Ana, and after all that happened in the last couple of days he is going to tell you the truth, sure!_

Well, I guess not. I could confront Elena, but that bitch would lie anyway. I can't tell my mom or Grace, because if I am wrong I will look like an idiot. But what if I am right? Oh, this is so fucked up. I mean yes, he is an adult now and he knows what he is diong, but what if she has brainwashed him since he was a boy? Then she probably still has her claws in him and he doesn't even know that what happened between them or is still happening is wrong.

I wish I could to talk to someone about this, but I can't. Well, maybe I could talk to John about it, but he can't tell me if Christian has told him about this, so this would get me nowhere. While I try to think of something that I could do, I feel my palms getting sweaty and my breathing is getting heavier. Oh no, not again! And as I think this the dry heaves start and I barely make it into my bathroom where I throw up again. Shit, I thought I got over this. Besides one time during my trip through Europe I never had this panic attacks where I ended up vomiting and now it was twice in one day. If I keep this up I will lose all the weight I'm so proud that I gained.

I take some deep calming breaths and brush my teeth before I decide to go into the kitchen and have something to eat. I was late for dinner and not really hungry when I came home, but after throwing up twice in one day I need to eat something so I won't start to lose weight again.

In the kitchen I make myself a sandwich and put some cheese and grapes on my plate before I sit down at the table. Just when I'm finished with my dinner Anya comes in the kitchen. I'm worried about her, too. Since I'm back she hasn't spoken more than three words to me. It's like she is avoiding me at all costs.

"Hey Anya, do you want to watch a movie?" I ask her. It's only 7:30 so we have plenty of time to watch one of those teenie horror movies she loves so much.

"No" she whispers and takes a bottle of water from the fridge.

"Okay, how about I pick you up from school tomorrow and we hit the mall. My treat?" I know she loves shopping and we could need a little sister bonding time.

"No, thanks" now she sounds pissed and I frown.

"Okay, help me out here, Anya. Have I done something wrong?"

She turns around and glares at me. "Why do you even care? First you went to Europe for six months and now you are moving out. You know what? Just go, go and never look back because surely you will forget all about me the moment you leave this house again." She starts crying and runs up the stairs. I jump up and follow her, just in time for her to slam the door of her room shut before I can follow her inside.

"Anya, please. Let me in. Let's talk about this."

"Go away!" she sobs loud enough for me to hear it through the closed door. That's enough, I open the door and go inside, finding her sobbing on her bed.

"Hey, don't cry, you making me cry, too" I say gently and sit down on the edge of the bed. "Talk to me, Anya, please."

"Why, I just got you back and all you can think about is leaving me alone here again." she pouts through her tears and I try hard not to smile.

"Look, I don't want to leave you alone, it's just that if I get accepted for my master studies then it is much easier for me to live close to the campus."

"But you stayed here while you went to college the first time." she says sounding like a three-year old and this time I do smile.

"I know and I ended up sleeping at my friends houses or Christian's most of the time, because I had to learn so long that I was too tired to drive back home. Besides if I have a two bedroom apartment in the city and you decide to study in Seattle after you graduate you could move in with me and you can stay at my place at the weekends. I'm not trying to get away from you Anya, you are my baby sister and I love you. I'm just trying to be a grown up and living at home at 22 is not really grown up."

"Dad wouldn't mind." she says making me laugh. "Come Anya, if it was up to Daddy we would live here until we are 60. Have you never thought about moving out?"

"Well, yes I have, but I ... I ... nevermind" she looks at her hands and again huge tears start to fall down her face.

"Hey, what is wrong?"

"I feel so ashamed about myself Ana, I wanted to be grown up like Cooper and you so bad and I have made all the wrong choices and ... and Mom and Dad are going to kill me." _Oh boy this does not sound good._

"Anya, what do you mean Mom and Dad are going to kill you?"

"I ... I think I'm pregnant." Holy fucking shit. Did my sister who just turned 16 two months ago really just tell me that she is pregnant?

"What do you mean you think you are pregnant?"

"He promised me he would use a condom and he knew I'm not on birth control and I trusted him and it was dark in the room and I only noticed afterwards that he didn't use the condom on the nightstand. I'm scared Ana, I can't have a baby." she sobs and I hold her in my arms while she cries.

"Okay, look at me. Have you done a test?"

"No, but I'm late. I have bought some tests, but I'm too scared to use them and look at the result."

"Good, look, you have to do the test now. I'll stay with you and I look at the results if you want me to, but you have to do this now."

Five minutes later we are in her bathroom and wait for the results. Oh my god, she can't be pregnant. She is 16 for crying out loud, this will ruin her life. When the alarm I set up on my phone goes off, I look at Anya who is still crying and look at the results.

_Oh thank god for that_. "You are not pregnant." I show her the three test results and hug her.

"Now, you and I will have talk, come on." I lead her back into her room and we sit down on her bed.

"Tomorrow afternoon I'm going to pick you up after school and you will see a doctor. We need to get you checked for any possible STD's. After that you will start birth control. I also want to know the name of that boyfriend of yours and Anya, you will not see him again. We can keep this between us, but if you continue to see a guy who has no respect for you or your safety I will tell mom and dad and they will probably ground you until you are thirty."

"I'm not going to see him again, I promise, but please don't make me tell you his name."

She looks desperate, but I can't let this go. "Anya, I'm serious. I know this sounds mean to you, but either you tell me or I will ask mom and dad to come in here right now."

"Okay, okay, please don't tell mom and dad. It ... it was Ethan."

"What? I mean you are not talking about Kate's brother, right? Anya did you have sex with Ethan Kavanagh?"

"He told me how pretty I am and that I remind him of you and he would take me to clubs where I wouldn't get in normally and it was so cool to feel like a grown up and not to be treated like a child all the time and one night he took me to his apartment. Kate was out with Mia and we had some beers and he kissed me and I wasn't sure if that's what I want, but he told me I would like it and so I thought... you know, if I want to be treated like a grown up ... I trusted him, but it only hurt and I didn't like it and he was so mean afterwards. He told me he only started to hang out with me because I reminded him of you, but after fucking me he realised that I just didn't do it for him. He just kicked me out and told me if I would tell someone you all would hate me because he was still with Mia when it happened, please don't hate me." she cries and in this moment I want to kill Ethan. How dare he seduce my 16-year-old sister and use her like this.

I cup her face in my hands, so she has to look at me. "Listen, I would never hate you, nor is anyone else going to hate you. Ethan crossed a line and I will make him pay for it. He seduced you, he knew you are young and naïve and he took advantage of that. This is not your fault, you knew him almost all your life, of course you trusted him. But don't ever believe this is your fault."

"But I let him do this ... maybe if I had said no..."

"No, please Anya, this is not your fault. Ethan is almost 8 years older than you are, he should have known better. Instead he got you drunk and seduced you."

"Have you ever done things you regret, like having sex with the wrong guy."

"I did some things I'm not proud of, like lying to our parents when I was a teen, but umm ... I'm still a virgin, so no to the sleeping with the wrong guy."

"I wish I would have waited, too. And actually I don't want to try it again for a long while."

"I think that's a good choice, wait for someone who is special to you, someone who makes you feel safe and doesn't try to pressure you into having sex."

"Maybe, Ana can you stay with me until I'm asleep?" she asks and when I nod she changes into her pj's and slips under the covers. I lie next to her and stroke her hair until I'm sure that she is asleep. I quietly leave her room and just get my purse to leave.

I am so mad, I think I have never been this mad in my life. I know I shouldn't confront Ethan in this state of mine, but I can't help it. I drive into town and storm into the building where he shares an apartment with Kate. Once I have reached their door I start to bang my fists against it.

"Open the fucking door Ethan, I know that you are home!" I yell and ten seconds later Kate opens the door, but I just walk past her into the apartment.

"Jesus Ana! What is wrong?"

"Where is your fucking brother? Ethan get your ass in here now" I scream and when he comes out of his room and has the audacity to smile at me, I lose it.

"What the fuck is wrong with you. Anya is a child! Do you hear me, she is a child! How dare you to touch my sister and use her?" By now I am screaming so loud I am pretty sure the entire building can hear me and I couldn't care less.

"Calm down Ana, she wanted it. I didn't force her."

"You got her drunk and then talked her into having sex and you didn't even use any protection you bastard."

"Oh my god, Ana are you saying that Ethan had sex with Anya, with your baby sister?" Kate looks sick as she asks me that question.

"Yes, he brought her here, gave her beer to drink and talked her into having sex with him. He told her he would use a condom and he didn't and afterwards he kicked her out." I tell her in a rush and focus on Ethan again.

"Listen to me you asshole, I'm going to ruin you and if it is the last thing I do, you will pay for what you did to my sister!"

I am so angry I think I'm going to lose my mind and he starts to laugh. "Calm down Ana, we live in Washington, in this state it is not a crime if I have sex with a girl who is 16, that's why I waited until after her birthday. See, I guess now you wish you would have said yes to me in france" he hisses and I see red. I let out a scream and tackle him to the floor where I start to punch his face and every part of him I can reach with my fists over and over again.

"Police! Get off the floor, hands above your head!" I hear someone scream and sure enough when I turn around there are two cops next to a completely shocked Kate. They have their guns pointing at me and I slowly get off of Ethan who is bleeding from his nose, mouth and a cut on his eyebrow.

Before I know what is really going on, I find myself in handcuffs on the backseat of a police car.

At the police station I have to give them a blood sample, my finger prints are taken, I have to do those stupid mug shots and they interview me for more than two hours. I have declined to call a lawyer for now. I know that is the wrong move, but I did assault Ethan, so there is no denying it and the only lawyer I know is Carrick and I don't want to call him. So after I have given them my statement I am told that I can leave if someone comes to post my bail. I could have done that myself, but in my rush to get to Ethan's I forget my wallet.

I don't want to call my parents, so I decide to call Cooper. Great he is never going to let me hear the end of this, but I don't want to spend the night here, so I dial his number.

"Cooper Steele"

"Hi Cooper, umm where are you?"

"Hey Ana, I'm at Christian's he has bought a new company here in Seattle and wants Elliot and I to do the remodeling of the building."

"I see, so ... umm... I kind of got arrested for assault and I'm at the police station in downtown, could you please come and bail me out?"

"WHAT? Are you fucking kidding me Ana? You got arrested, what the fuck have you done?"

"I tell you later, please just get me out of here" I beg him.

"I'm on my way, but you better have one hell of an explanation for this Anastasia, I can not fucking believe it." he snaps and hangs up.

One of the officers locks me into a holding cell and I sit down on the cot and look at my bloody knuckles. Oh my god, this is so fucked up. My parents will be so mad at me, I will probably never get accepted into any college for my masters and the Kavanaghs will probably get the best lawyers money can buy to make sure I end up in jail. I'm only back in Seattle for four days and I already wish I would have stayed in Europe.

"Well look at you, isn't that how every brother wants to see his sister." I hear Cooper's angry voice and look up. _Oh joy, it's not just him, but Elliot and Christian, too._ They are all glaring at me and I can tell that they are fucking pissed. Great, it's like I have three older brothers all of a sudden.

None of us says a word until we are out of the station. "Can you just drop me off at Kate's my car is there?" I mutter not daring to look at Cooper, Elliot or Christian.

"Nice try Anastasia, get into the fucking car, you have some explaining to do. We are going to my place."

"But..."

"GET INTO MY GOD DAMN FUCKING CAR OR ELSE I WILL SPANK YOUR ASS RIGHT HERE AND PUT YOU IN THERE MYSELF AFTERWARDS" he screams at me and I stare at him wide-eyed. My brother has never yelled at me and actually he looks really scary right now.

"Okay, okay" I mutter and quickly get into the backseat of his car. Cooper gets behind the wheel while Elliot gets in the passenger seat and Christian gets into the backseat with me.

"Cooper, take her to the hospital first, looks like she has a broken knuckle or two." Christian says and I roll my eyes.

"It's nothing I'm fine."

"Shut up!" they all yell at me in unison and I stare out of the window as we are driving to the hospital. After getting checked the doctor in the ER tells them that my knuckles are only badly bruised, but not broken. So Cooper takes me to his place and as if it wasn't bad enough to have him going to lecture me, Christian and Elliot are coming with us to his place.

Once there Cooper gives me some ice for my hands and all three of them sit down facing me.

"So do tell, what on earth has gotten into you? Did you get into a bar brawl? Are you doing drugs now?"

I stare at Cooper in horror, is that what he thinks has happened?

"I did not get into a bar fight and I am sure as hell not doing drugs. I umm ... I lost it and beat Ethan to a pulp."

"You did what?"

"I have beaten up Ethan. And you know what, after what he has done, I would do it again. He deserves what happened."

"Okay, then tell me what has he done?"

"He weaseled his way into our sister's life, waited until she turned 16, then he took her to his apartment got her to drink too much beer, then he talked her into letting him fuck her only to kick her out afterwards telling her she was a bad lay. He also told her he would use a condom and he didn't so I have spent my evening trying to console our baby sister who thought she was pregnant, which luckily she isn't and when I got to his apartment to confront him with what he has done he had the audacity to laugh in my face and tell me that he only did this because I told him that he would never have a chance with me."

"Where is he?" Cooper's word are spoken so calmly that it scares me.

"I don't know. I guess he is at the hospital."

"Wait, you beat him into the hospital?" Elliot asks and he looks clearly amused.

"From what I could see while I was put in handcuffs his nose is broken, he lost a teeth or two and he has bad cut on his eyebrow."

I look at my hands completely embarrassed and suddenly I hear them all laugh and my head shoots up.

"You think this is funny?"

"No, it's not funny ... what he did to our sister, he deserved it, but I don't think he is going to press charges against you, Ana. Hell, what guy wants to confess publicly that he got beaten up by a girl half his size. Fuck, now I wish I would have been there to watch it, but Ana we have to tell it Mom and Dad."

"I know, I promised Anya I wouldn't tell them, but yeah, I guess that's not an option anymore. Oh, and since I'm going to have to find a lawyer tomorrow to get out of this mess, would you mind picking Anya up after school so she can get a check up, you know STD's and everything since Ethan didn't use a condom."

"Sure, but don't you think it would be better if mom takes her to see that kind of doctor?" I look at Cooper and he really does look uncomfortable.

"Cooper, do not ask me for any details, because it took me months to push these memories into a deep, dark corner of my mind where I'm sure that they will never come up again. But as much as I love our mom, I would rather ask Dad to accompany me to a doctor's appointment than mom. I did it once and I do not want to traumatize our sister any further."

"Okay, I'm not going to ask, but there is one other thing that I need to know." he looks at me all serious and that alone tells me I am not going to like his question, but I gesture for to go on.

"Did you have sex with Ethan, too?" he asks and I have to take a deep breath as I feel the anger rising inside of me.

"No, okay? I did not fuck Ethan, I didn't fuck anyone, but obviously you already chose to believe _**him**_" I hiss and point at Christian.

"I saw the pictures Ana, pictures of you letting all those guys into your hotel room. And that you refuse to tell me why you had them there makes it hard to believe you that nothing happened!" Cooper snaps back and suddenly I'm sick of it. With my panic attacks back I won't be able to follow through anyway. I get up and grab my purse.

"Fine, you want to know who those guys were? They were vocal coaches and piano teachers. I took lessons and booked them online before I even left Seattle. You know how mom and dad always complain that none of us shares their love for music, well it was supposed to be my surprise for their anniversary next month. There, now you know."

He stares at me and shakes his head sadly. "Honestly Ana, you could have come up with many lies I would have believed, but this one is not even a good lie. Well, you are 22, if you want to fuck around its none of my business, but don't ever lie to me again."

For a moment I'm shocked. He thinks I am lying, my brother never accused me of lying and it hurts.

"Good, I guess then it will be best you just forget that you have a sister at all, because clearly you have already decided who is worth your trust and who is not. I'm not going to try to convince you otherwise." With that I turn around and head for the door, but as I reach for the doorknob all the anger and hurt inside me needs an outlet and though I know it is wrong I turn back around and face Christian.

"Oh before I forget about it Christian, what do you think will Grace say if she finds out that all those years when she worried about you being gay or that you will never find a girlfriend, you were fucking Elena Lincoln?"

His eyes widen in horror and all the color drains from his face and in this moment I know that my suspicions were right.

"You have a week to tell her or I'll do it. I guess now you wished you would have kept your mouth shut!" and with that I turn around and leave Cooper's apartment. But as the anger slowly subsides I realise that I have just made a really big mistake...


	5. Chapter 5

**As always, the answers to your questions first ;-)**

**Some of you wondered why Ana felt uncomfortable about letting Anya go to see a doctor with their mother - Don't worry, there is nothing wrong with the relationship between Ana and Carla. Sometimes moms can be embarrassing, especially if they don't care who else can hear what they are saying, but the next chapter will explain exactly what happened...**

**Why would Ana need different teachers? - She had them while she traveled through Europe, so basically in every town she stayed while traveling she had one vocal coach and one piano teacher...**

**How could Ana simply guess that Christian and Elena had sex? - Ana saw them together in the lobby of Escala and the way the talked to each other and the way Elena touch his arm seemed very intimate to her. She wasn't 100 percent sure until she saw Christian react to her telling him to tell Grace. I guess this can seem random, but I like to give every character I write about some things from me and yes, I only need to look at the way two people act around each other and I can tell if they were intimate at one point or not. I think it's a weird ability and my friends and family are regularly freaked out by it, but hey everyone has some weird talents or abilities and this is mine and I gave it to Ana in this story ;-)**

**And for those of you who thought the shit had hit the fan last chapter, oh well, we are not quiet there yet...**

_**Ana**_

I wake up the next morning and all I want is to pull my duvet over my head and never leave my bed. First Christian turned into an asshole, now Ethan has seduced my little sister and I have beaten him to a pulp and my brother thinks I am lying slut. I feel like I have entered an alternative universe and no matter what I do it all turns to shit. I look at my alarm on the nightstand and see that it is just after six in the morning. I could try to sleep some more, but I know I have to talk to my parents before the Kavanaghs call them.

So I take a quick shower, get dressed, take my dogs out and just when I'm back home in the kitchen where our housekeeper is preparing breakfast my parents come downstairs.

"You are up early, sweetheart" my dad says and frowns when he sees my bruised, swollen knuckles.

"Ana, what happened to your hands?"

"I umm ... lets sit down first, okay? I need to tell you something" shit why is this so hard? I have to breathe against the rising panic, but finally manage to calm down a little.

"Ana, please what is going on?" my mother asks worry written all over her face.

"I got arrested last night, I've beaten up Ethan Kavanagh in his apartment and the neighbors called the cops. Cooper bailed me out."

My parents just stare at me as if I am speaking chinese and they didn't understand a word of what I have just told them.

"This is a joke right, you are trying to play a prank on us?" my father asks and I shake my head slowly.

"I didn't mean to do that, I just wanted to talk to him, but he was simply disgusting and I lost it. I know that is no excuse, but Dad he really had it coming, after what he did..."

"What the hell could he have possible done for you to beat him up, Anastasia?" now my dad is yelling and I feel like a small child again.

"He acted like he was a friend to Anya, took her to his apartment, gave her alcohol and had sex with her, he did not use protection and he kicked her out afterwards telling her things I'm not going repeat right now, but bottom line is he only did this to get back at me, because I didn't want to date him or have sex with him. When I wanted to confront him he laughed at me basically telling me that he would have never done this to Anya had I said yes to him. And we he laughed about it, after I had to see Anya crying her eyes out because she is so ashamed that she let him do this to her, I lost it. I know I should be sorry, but he deserved it."

"He made my 16-year-old daughter drink alcohol and had sex with her?" my dad asks and I nod.

"Where is that little bastard?"

"I guess still at the hospital, I kind of broke his nose and he lost a tooth ... well maybe two." I mutter embarrassed and I expect my Dad to yell at me again, but instead he hugs me.

"Well done, Annie!"

"Ray! Our daughter just beat another person into the hospital and you praise her?" my mom sounds as shocked as I feel.

"Damn right, I praise her Carla. That little fucker had it coming and he can be damn glad that he already is in the hospital or I would deliver him there myself. We raised our children to stand up for each other and I would have been very disappointed if Ana would have done nothing. Now do I like the fact that my daughter used violence against another person, no! But, in this case she was right. That Kavanagh boy has crossed a line and he deserved what he got."

My mom is just about to reply when the door bell rings. Shit, it's just a little after 7, this can't be good and sure enough my Mom returns with Carrick and Mister Kavanagh. Oh fuck, Carrick is Ethan's attorney? I'm fucked, I might as well check into prison right now.

"Carrick, if you are here to tell me that you are helping Ethan Kavanagh to press charges against my Annie, I will never talk to you again" my Dad says.

"Calm down Ray, this is not what you think. After Kate informed her parents what happened last night and what Ethan did, after they talked to him to confirm he really did what Ana accused him off, they came to me. Ethan is not going to press charges against Anastasia and I cashed in some favors to make it all go away. The DA is not going to press charges either. In return the DA wants a donation for his next election."

"I pay it" I say immediately, but Mister Kavanagh turns to me.

"That is very nice of you Anastasia, but not necessary. I am going to pay for it. What my son did, well he will have to deal with me for it. You were trying to defend your sister and Kate told us how Ethan provoked you, we talked to him and he ... I'm not going to repeat what my son said, but please take this as my apology for this situation, I must have done something wrong raising that boy for him to turn out that way."

"Ana, sweetheart, why don't you go and check if your sister is up, I need a word with Mister Kavanagh." my dad says.

"Okay, thank you, oh and Carrick. I need to talk to you. Can you wait until I'm back."

"Sure, take your time Ana" he says and I go upstairs and wake Anya up. I fill her in what happened and I'm relieved that she didn't take the news as bad as I thought she would.

Once I'm back downstairs I ask Carrick to take a walk with me.

"Are you alright, Ana? You seem nervous."

"I need your help. I need you to draft a non-disclosure agreement for me." he stops and looks at me.

"Why do you need someone to sign and NDA?"

"I want to hire a private investigator, but you know some of them are not really trust worthy and if the outcome is really bad it could seriously hurt the reputation of someone who means a lot to me. So, I need to make sure that what ever information the private investigator gathers it is not going to be leaked to the media."

"Okay, I can do that, but I would like you to tell me more about what is going on."

"Can you keep a secret, even from Grace?"

"You ask for a lot here Ana, please tell me what is going on."

"Elena Lincoln is a pedophile." As I say the words Carrick's eyes widen in absolute horror.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I over heard that she tried to seduce some men I know while they were in their teenage years, 14 or 15 years old maybe and I'm convinced that she got lucky with at least one other underaged boy. I need to know if she is still doing this and if she does I'm putting an end to this. But she is also a dear friend to mom and Grace and if I'm wrong, you know I could ruin her reputation and mom would be so mad at me. I just need more information before I decide what to do."

Carrick rubs his hands through his hair and looks almost scared. "Ana I know you don't like Elena, so this NDA is not to protect her. Are you trying to protect your brother or one of my sons from public humiliation?"

"Please don't make me answer this question" I beg him.

"Ana I have to know, because no matter if it is one of my boys or Cooper, I will help you to find out if it is true. Please Ana."

He looks as heartbroken as I feel and I know I have to tell him. "It's Christian. I know that she tried to seduce Cooper and Elliot, but they told her to take a hike. Yesterday, I saw Christian and Elena in the lobby of Escala. They didn't know I was watching them and ... you know how sometimes you see two people talk and the way the act and you just know that at some point they were intimate. That is what I saw with Elena and Christian. I can't just ask him, you know how he is Carrick, he will deny it and shut down. So I need proof, not just to bring her down, but also to show Christian, that this woman is vile and not his friend."

"Jesus Christ, this can ruin him, being associated with a pedophile. Does he know that you suspect something?" Oh crap!

"I ... well, yesterday after Cooper bailed me out, Christian and Elliot were there, too. Since I'm back from Europe Christian has completely changed, and I lost it with him. I told him he has a week to tell Grace what is going on between him and Elena or I would do it."

"My god, this is such a mess. Ana you need to stall him, tell him you didn't mean it or something like that. He can't suspect anything until we know the truth."

"Okay, I try my best."

Carrick nods and hugs me. "I know a very trust worthy private investigator, I'll call him once I'm in my office. I don't want Grace to overhear this conversation and we need to keep this between us, the more people know the higher are the chances that Elena finds out what we are up to."

"Okay, I won't tell anyone."

Carrick leaves to go back home and I walk back home and straight to the dock next to our boathouse. I guess now I have to call Christian. I hate to do this, but Carrick is right, if we want to get to the bottom of this Christian must think that I just said what I said to get even with him.

I sit down on the dock even though it is way to cold to do that as it is a really chilly october morning, but I like to be close to the water and right now it's calming me. When I feel calm enough I dial his number. It rings two times and then goes to voice mail. Oh come on, so now he isn't even taking my calls? Well, if there is one thing I know about Christian then it is that he would never switch off his phone, so I keep calling him, but after the fourth time of me calling and him sending my call to voice mail it gets boring. I look at my watch and see that it is already 8:25 so he is probably at his office. So I call Andrea his assistant.

"Grey Enterprises Holdings, Mister Grey's office, Andrea Parker speaking."

"Hi Andrea, it's Ana Steele. Is Christian in his office yet?"

"Yes Miss Steele, he came in 20 minutes ago, do you want me to put you through."

"Yes, thank you." After a 30 seconds of annoying music she is back on the line.

"I'm sorry, Miss Steele. Mister Grey umm ... he told me that he is not going to take your call and that you are not to call his office again."

"I see, thank you, Andrea. Please tell Mister Grey if he wants to behave like a child, I can do the same thing by spending the rest of the day calling him every minute until he will take my call. Bye Andrea." I hang up before she has the time to answer and continue to call Christian for about 20 minutes. I know that this will annoy the fuck out of him and sure enough after what feels like call number 200 he picks up.

I have to put my phone on speaker and hold it away a bit because he is yelling and cussing like a bunch of drunken sailors. I don't even really listen and decide to just let him vent for a while, but after three minutes I have enough.

"Jesus Christ, Christian, stop yelling or you end up giving yourself a heart attack. I'm just calling to apologize" I mutter and that finally stops his tirade.

"What?"

"I want to apologize for what I said yesterday. I was out of line and I am sorry. It is none of business who you are intimate with or for how long. I was mad that you turned my brother against me and for the way you are treating me lately, so I wanted to get back at you. But like I said, what is between Elena and you is none of my business. I can't speak for Cooper or Elliot, but I am not going to tell anyone."

"I see, well at least you didn't lose all you class and manners in Europe." I have to close my eyes and count to ten hearing him say that. Shit, I want to reach through the phone and slap him again.

"Lucky me." I mutter instead and want to hang up, but his voice stops me.

"How did you find out?"

"I saw you together yesterday at Escala. You talked to her by the elevators and I don't know, you never even looked at her at dinner parties, but yesterday you two looked very familiar, to be honest, I wasn't completely sure before I saw your face after I told you that I would tell Grace."

"I need you to sign an NDA."

"Oh my god, why not just spit in my face, Christian. Honestly, who are you and were is the Christian I have known for all my life? You told me you don't even know who I am anymore, well back at ya, Grey. So to answer your question, Christian. No, I am not going to sign an NDA, but I have a better idea. You are dead to me!" I hang up knowing full well that he could hear that I am crying, but I don't give a fuck. I have to think about myself and him constantly hurting me is not good for me. So, starting now I will avoid seeing him at all cost. Hah, right and the best way to do that is to move into the building he lives in, I think bitterly.

"Hey little one, why are you crying?" I look up and see Elliot. Great, is he going to call me a slut now, too?

"Your brother, but I don't care anymore. So, want to tell me that I am a slut, too?" I ask bitterly and wipe my tears away.

"No, actually, I have no idea what has gotten into my brother or your brother for that matter, but to me it is much more likely that you took singing and piano lesson than you turning into a slut all of a sudden. Besides those guys came to your hotel rooms on their own, you didn't arrive with them, so either you were telling the truth or those were callboys and you most definitely don't need to hire someone to get laid." he says and sits down next to me.

"Could you tell this Christian and Cooper?"

"I tried little one, but those two are convinced the know the truth and you know how fucking stubborn they are. I kind of got into an argument with them and I probably won't talk to both of them before the pull their heads out of their asses. But that's not why I am here. Is it true, Christian and Elena?"

"Please don't ask me about this Elliot."

"Ana, he is my little brother."

"Look, Carrick and I are taking care of it, this is all you need to know for now. Please, don't mention it again until we know more."

"God, this fucking old bitch, I should have told Mom and Dad when she came on to me. Wait, you told my Dad?"

"Yes, because I think that she is a pedophile, I'm way out of my element with this, I needed advise and Carrick is the only one who really knows how to handle this. But you can't tell anyone, not even Carrick that you know. Please Elliot."

"Okay, but if that bitch seduced Christian while he was still a kid, I'm going to ruin her."

"If she did I'm sure you have to get in line to do that." I snort.

"Probably, so how do you feel today, I mean after beating the fucking asshole yesterday, he didn't hit you back right? Shit, if he did I'm driving other to the hospital right now and beat him up the moment he comes out of the door." Elliot says and looks at me.

"No, he didn't. Christ Elliot, that guy is such a pussy, he was crying for Kate to help him."

"Wow, what a wuss, anyway the next time I see him he will wish that it would be you again who is beating him, because I will probably end him for what he did to Mia, Anya and you."

"Don't waste your energy on him, besides I have a feeling that we are not going to see him again. His father seems to be pretty mad at him and my Dad wanted to talk alone to Mister Kavanagh, which probably means he told him that it is better for Ethan to leave Seattle for good."

"Yeah, I would probably leave town, too if your dad was mad at me, fuck he can be scary."

"Maybe, to me he is just my daddy."

"Can I ask you one more thing before I have to go to work?"

"Sure, ask me what ever you want."

"Why have you never told Christian that you have it bad for him?"

I stare at Elliot in absolute horror. Oh my god, he knows, does that mean Christian knows, too? Oh shit, I can't breathe ... I can't ... oh god...

"Shit Ana!" I hear Elliot call out when I double over and throw up into the sound. When it stops, I sit back I try to get my breathing under control.

"Oh my god, do you need me to get my mom? What the hell was that, Ana?" I barely find the courage to look at Elliot, but when I do he looks really worried. Damn it, I managed to hide my panic attacks from anyone since I was 15 and now Elliot had to witness one.

"Say something, Ana. Please?" I know I could probably come up with some sort of lie, but that is not what I want. I don't want to lie.

"Not here, okay? I need to brush my teeth, maybe we can go somewhere and talk."

"Sure, I take you out for breakfast."

30 minutes later we are at IHOP and I stare down at my pancakes.

"I have panic attacks. This was a bad one, sometimes they start slowly; my hands start to sweat, then I can't really breathe and most of the times it ends with me throwing up. I never told anyone and you have to promise me not to tell anyone either, it will only make things worse for me."

"Since when, did this start in Europe?"

I have to laugh hearing this. "Europe, no. It started in high school, well actually on the graduation day of middle school. Do you remember that day."

"Wait, wasn't that when you were supposed to give a speech and you got sick all over the principal?"

"Yep, it sure was. I never wanted to give that speech. You know me, I don't like to be in the center of attention. I told my parents I don't want to do it, but they just told me I had to, that it was an honor to be asked and that it would be a good experience for me. The day of graduation I begged them not to make me do this, but they kind of dragged me to the stage, telling me all would end well. When I sat on stage with the other people who wanted to give a speech I felt so sick and I wanted to run off, but the principal wouldn't let me and then it was too late and I threw up on him."

I have to stop and take some deep breaths before I can continue. "Everyone was laughing and I can honestly say that this was the worst day of my life. After the summer I went to a different school than Mia and Kate, so I was pretty much alone there. Well, I knew no one there, but they all knew me, because during the summer the video of me throwing up became very popular on YouTube. At first it was only talking behind my back or pointing fingers at me and laughing, but some boys took it further."

I stop when Elliot slams his fist on the table. "Fuck Ana, why haven't you told anyone. You could have transferred to Mia's school or your parents could have talked to your teachers. Shit, Cooper and I could have showed up at your school and kicked some asses."

"I just wanted to forget about it and I feared things would only get worse Elliot. Anyway, one day after school some boys from the football team cornered me. The started to push me around, making fun of me and I panicked and ended up throwing up, the video of that is on YouTube, too. And from that point on things just got worse. Whenever I feel pressured or cornered I panic. It got so bad in college with group discussions and talking in front of the others in classes that I lost so much weight I got scared. My dentist thinks I'm bulimic and my blood work came back so bad, my doctor told me I am slowly killing myself. I wanted to figure this out alone, but I couldn't. So, I started to see John. You know, John Flynn, Christian's shrink."

"Does it help?"

"At first I didn't think so, but then he advised me to get out for a while, just leave everything behind me and try to enjoy my life. And it helped, Europe was the best thing for me Elliot, I had one panic attack in the first week, and after that nothing. So I decided to challenge myself, just doing things that are way out of my comfort zone, like going to clubs dressed in clothes I wouldn't wear usually. I did a bungee jump, went horse back riding at the beach, even though I'm afraid of horses, my piano teachers and vocal coaches were all men, because I usually feel uncomfortable around men I don't know. I did a tandem sky dive, went to an amusement park and took a ride with every roller coaster, just fun stuff I'm not usually doing. And this is why I want to surprise my parents on their anniversary by singing a song in front of all their guests. I thought, you know if I can jump off a bridge and do all these things, then I can speak or sing in front of others, too."

"And this was the first panic attack you had since you are back?"

"No, I had two bad ones yesterday."

"Well fuck, do you still see Flynn?"

"Yes, he thinks that I am putting pressure on myself because I am always trying to please everyone instead of just doing what is best for myself and of course that by keeping it a secret from anyone I'm making things worse."

"You know little one, I think he is right with that one. We could all help you, this is serious. How much nutrition do you get if you throw up all the time and your body is under permanent stress. This can't be good."

"I know Elliot, but I don't know how to change this and right now I just want to pack my bags and leave. And the worst part is that I am trying to get better and first Christian and now Cooper making things worse for me and even after telling them the truth they don't believe me and I don't ... I don't know what to do ... what am I going to do Elliot? I can't ... I..."

"Hey, look at me Ana, here take my hands and breathe, in and out little one, we can fix this, you are not alone anymore. Okay, I'm going to help you. Just breathe" Elliot says and holds my hands in his until I calm down again.

"See Ana, it doesn't have to end with you throwing up. There is no need to panic and at this point, and I know this sounds harsh, but you can't give a shit about Cooper or Christian. Let them think what ever the hell they want. You need to focus on yourself, not torture yourself by trying to convince them to believe you. They don't deserve your attention if they treat you like this. Wait until your parents anniversary, the moment the see you on stage they will feel so ashamed of themselves that they will probably beg your for forgiveness the moment you come of that stage. And let my Dad deal with Elena. Focus on yourself and if you need help, you have my number."

"Thank you Elliot. And well, to answer your question from before. You know how I feel about Christian and why I have never told him. Back in high school, there was one boy who was nice to me. His name was Jose. He asked me on a date and it was actually pretty nice, he drove me back home after our date and we made out in his car, but I got so nervous that I had a panic attack and threw up on him. He never talked to me again and I never wanted to date anyone again. I mean who wants a girlfriend that throws up on him every time she gets nervous?"

"You could always tell him, though now he doesn't even deserve to hear the truth. Give it time, focus on yourself and the rest will all fall in place, Ana."

I look at Elliot and just hope that he is right and maybe it is time to come clean to my family. Elliot could calm me down so easily. Maybe, by telling my parents they can help me, too. I need to talk to John about this, but I feel like this secret becomes a heavier burden every day and I don't want to carry it alone anymore...


	6. Chapter 6

_**Ana**_

Elliot drove me back home after breakfast and I had a quick chat with my mom, who is really upset about what Ethan did to Anya. She actually told me after thinking about it, she is glad I've beat him. We talked some more about some charity things she needs my help with and back in my room I decide to change in to my bikini and go to the basement to swim for a while. We have an indoor pool and I like to use it at least four times a week. I guess after moving out I will still come back home at least three times a week to take a swim.

Another reason why I decided to take a swim is that my mom is having her monthly ladies brunch today. She wanted to cancel it, but there was no time to do so. I like most of her friends, but Elena will be there too and I have no desire to see her anytime soon or I might lose it with her too. Fuck, if I ever overcome these panic attacks I might as well start a therapy for anger management.

After swimming laps for about 45 minutes I have enough. I take the last lap under water, but as I'm about to come up for air I feel a hand on my head which is holding me under water. I try to get away but who ever is pushing me down has his fingers fisted in my hair and just when I think I have to drown, the hand is gone and I come up gasping for air. I look up and my blood starts to boil when I see none other than Elena Lincoln standing at the edge of the pool.

"What the fuck, Elena? Have you lost your mind?" I hiss and get out of the pool.

"Consider this a warning Anastasia. Leave Christian and I alone." she hisses back.

"Oh really, did he come running to you? You know what, you are disgusting, Elena! A woman your age should have more class than to fuck the son of her best friend."

"Christian and I are just friends, and even if we had an intimate relationship it would be none of your business! You are just jealous that a man like Christian would never even look your way."

"Oh really it didn't seem like he wouldn't want to look my way when he kissed me the day I came back from Europe. In fact, he seemed rather excited to see me if you get what I'm trying to say" I tell her sweetly and her mouth pops open.

"He kissed you?" she shrieks.

"Oh, he didn't tell you? Too bad, but you know maybe you have just gotten to old and saggy for him. Actually, I'm shocked how old you look, what happened? Did your doctor ran out of Botox or are you out of money and to old and disgusting to find a new sugar daddy?"

"You better watch yourself you little bitch, because if you think you can drive a wedge between Christian and I you are sadly mistaken. He is mine and he will always pick me. I made him, everything he has, who he is today, he owes it to me. He ..." I can not listen to her any longer and push her right into the pool. As she tries to come up for air I quickly stoop down and push her under the water again, giving her the same treatment she has given me before, and just for good measure I let her come up for air and do it a second time.

When she comes up again she is staring at me completely horrified.

"Got your attention now, bitch? Good! Do not ever mistake me for some naïve little girl, Elena because if you piss me off one more time, I'm going to ruin you. I will ruin your business, your reputation, I will do what ever it takes to ensure that every day of your miserable existence is hell on earth. Don't try to fuck with me Elena, because you have no idea what you are getting yourself into." With that I straighten myself and start walking toward the changing room, but I can't resist to turn around and say one more thing.

"Oh, and Elena, when you change out of those wet clothes, take a good look at your old body and think about me in this tiny bikini, and then I want you to ask yourself which one of us Christian would like to fuck more." I give her a sweet smile, hurry into the changing room where I put my robe on and get upstairs into my room.

Once I have locked the door I lean against it. Holy fuck, did I really just do that? I guess it was the adrenaline when she tried to drown me or something like that, because usually this would have been a situation where I would have had a major panic attack. For a second I think about calling the police, but then again I have no witnesses and I gave her the same treatment, so I decide against it and call Carrick again.

"Ana, is everything alright, have you talked to Christian?"

"Yes, I told him that I am sorry, he knows I won't tell Grace, though I'm no longer talking to him. He wanted me to sign an NDA. Well, so much for being friends. Anyway, you won't believe what just happened."

"Tell me."

"I was swimming in the pool and Elena tried to drown me. I wanted to come up for air and she pushed me under water, holding me down for a couple of seconds. She let go and then threatened me to leave Christian and her alone. She is crazy, Carrick!"

"Dear god, have you called the cops?"

"No, we got into an argument and she talked about Christian like he is her puppet, so I pushed her in the pool and returned the favor. I told her not to mess with me or I would ruin her."

"I see, well I am not sure what to say. You have to be careful, Anastasia. Elena seems to be dangerous and I don't want you to end up getting hurt. I've already contacted the private investigator and he will stop by later today. Try to avoid running into Elena. Once we have enough evidence I will figure out a way to get Elena behind bars without having Christian's name tangled up in this mess."

"Okay, so call me if the private investigator can find anything." I hang up and after a long hot shower I change into black pants, a white tank top, black flats and a gray cardigan. I take my dogs out again and when I'm back I have lunch with my mom.

"Oh my gosh, Ana. I know I shouldn't laugh about this, but Elena fell into the pool" my mom giggles as we are sitting down for lunch.

"What?" I decide to play dumb, because obviously Elena lied about what happened.

"Yes, she went to the indoor pool, because she wanted to say hello to you, after I've told her that you are here and probably in the pool. You must have missed her, anyway, she wanted to look for you, slipped and fell into the pool. She looked like a drowned rat, oh my gosh, I'm a terrible friend to say that, am I?" my mom says still not able to stop giggling. _Well, at least this explains where I get the giggling from. _

"No mom, you are not a terrible friend. Actually, I would laugh, too if something like that would happen to Mia or Kate. And they would probably laugh if I would fall into the pool fully dressed."

"Good, so your brother called, he wanted to take Anya to Dr. Greene this afternoon, but I told him I'm taking her. I think it would embarrass her to take her brother to go see Dr. Greene." _Oh shit!_

"Um ... Mom, I can take her, I can get another appointment to sign the contract for my apartment."

"No, you go meet your Dad to buy that apartment. I will take Anya." she says smiling and I cringe inwardly.

"Mom, just please don't embarrass, Anya."

"Embarrass her? Why would I embarrass her, darling?"

"Mom, do you remember when you took me to see Dr. Greene the first time?"

"Of course, you were 15 and had those terrible cramps every time you got your period, but it's good since you are taking the pill, right?"

"Yes, but that is not the point, mom. I was lying on the exam table with my feet in stir ups and you looked over Dr. Greene's shoulder under the blanket and started to discuss in front of her why I am shaving my vagina. I wanted to die, mom!"

"Oh please, Ana, you were 15. I was embarrassed that my 15-year-old daughter went to see a doctor with her vagina shaved like those porn stars do." I stare at my mom, is she for real? I decide not to argue, I love my mom with all my heart, but sometimes she can be so embarrassing and she doesn't even notice it.

"Okay, let's change the subject. I'm meeting with the party planner for your anniversary next monday."

"Good. I'm so happy that you decided to take over the planning. This will be the first party in this house in a long while where I can just enjoy the day and not run around all day hoping that everything goes well."

"That's the plan mom, the invitations are already out, so by the end of next week we should know who is coming. Most of the details are already planned and what I couldn't decide via Skype will be decided next week. So, all is looking good."

"Good, just don't pick a menu with very spicy food or your dad has to spend most of the night in the bathroom and keep in mind that there will be some vegetarians at the party and two of our guests are allergic to seafood."

"I know mom, it's all on my list, so don't worry."

After some more talking about the party my mom has to leave to meet with some other women from the board of one of her charities and I decide to just relax a little and make some more notes for the party. My main reason to volunteer to arrange everything was my surprise for them. Because while I'm playing the song for them I want to have set up some video walls around the tent to show pictures of my parents. I already talked to the party planner and it will be no problem to hide them behind white drapery. Once I'm on stage the drapery will be let down to reveal the video walls. Now all I have to do is follow through with it ... _I hope I can do this. _

Later this afternoon I'm leaving the office of the real estate agent with my Dad and I'm shocked. I thought it would take a while until the deal is sealed, but my Dad being my Dad, he wanted it done today, so now not only am I the proud owner of a 2 bedroom apartment at Escala, but it cost me nothing. When I wanted to talk about the financial part, my Dad took over and surprised me by paying for my apartment.

"You know Annie, you could just say thank you, daddy" he chuckles looking at my still shocked face.

"I ... yes... thank you, daddy. But you didn't have to do this. I could have paid for my apartment."

"I know that you could have paid yourself, Annie. But you are grown up now, I guess in a week or two you will move out and soon there won't be much occasions for me to buy something for you. It makes me happy to buy things for my kids, so let me do this for you." he says and I hug him.

"I love you, daddy. Thank you."

"You are very welcome, darling. So, now let's go to Escala so I can see where my baby girl is going to live. Good thing Christian lives there, too. So you have someone close by if you need help."

I decide not to say anything about Christian. My Dad is so over protective he would probably punch Christian right in the face if he knew what was going on. So, we drive over to Escala and I show my Dad my new apartment.

"Nice place, Annie."

"I know, but I want to change the furniture and have a painting crew over to give the place some color, it's too white for my liking."

"Well, as far as the furnishing goes you know where to get what you want." he says and sure, as the owner of nearly 1000 furnishing stores all over north america and europe my Dad knows all about furniture and I don't have to pay for anything I want for my apartment.

Since my mom wants to take Anya out for dinner, my dad and I decide to have dinner in the city. We are just about to leave the lobby of Escala when his phone rings.

"A minute Annie" he mutters and takes the call. I nod and point to the door letting him know that I will wait outside.

I'm just about to answer a text from Mia when someone grabs my arm so hard it hurts.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Anastasia? You tried to drown Elena, are you out of your mind?" I don't even need to look up when I hear those angry words.

"Christian, let go of my arm, you are hurting me!" I snap and try to yank my arm free, but his grip only tightens to the point where it really hurts.

"Answer my question! Do you know that Elena could press charges against you?"

"So could I Christian, because she started this, I was on my last lap in the pool when she grabbed my hair and pushed me under the water. I just returned the favor."

"And you think I believe you? My god you are not only a slut, you are a liar as well. I can't ..."

"Take your hands of my daughter, now!" my dads voice is like a thunderstorm and Christian let's go of me immediately.

"What the hell possessed you to grab her arm like that and don't think for a second that I haven't heard the names you just called her!" my dad hisses and from Christian's stance I can see that he has gone into full defence mode.

"I'm sorry Ray, but it's the truth. And believe me, there is no one who would wish things were different more than I do." he says turns around and heads into the building, but I have a bigger problem and before my Dad can even turn back around to look at me I take off and run around the corner where I have to throw up into the bushes.

I hear my Dad call out my name and wait for a couple of more seconds to catch my breath before I walk back to him, thankful that he hasn't seen me thrown up.

"Annie, what is wrong?"

"Sorry, I just needed a moment alone."

"I see, so what has gotten into Christian?"

"Can we find a restaurant and sit down first?" I ask and my dad agrees. So we go to a nearby restaurant called _**Le Pichet**_ and sit down at a table.

"So, what has gotten into Christian?"

"He thinks I'm a slut. He had security on me while I was in Europe and has gotten the wrong impression." I whisper while staring at my hands.

"Because of those music teachers who came to your suites?" hearing my dad say this my head shoots up and he chuckles.

"Annie, you should have known that I am way to over protective to let you go to Europe without any protection. I had someone watching you the entire time."

"You too?" I shriek and he laughs.

"Sure, but obviously I'm not as stupid as Christian."

"How did you know they were music teachers?"

"First, they came to your room, you didn't pick them up at a club or bar. So that meant you had an appointment with them. When my security guy send me the first pictures of men who came to your room, I had him talk to one of the guys when he left your room. He told him he is a vocal coach and the fact that you insisted that every suite you stayed in must have a piano even though you can't play the piano made me sure those guys were telling the truth. So, why did you take singing and piano lessons?"

"It's a surprise, you'll see." I answer with a smile. At least my Dad doesn't believe Christian and though I should be mad that he had me followed, too, I am not. I know this is just his way of making sure that I am fine and of course, I can never stay mad at my daddy for more than 30 seconds.

"Good, but one more question. Why didn't you just tell Christian the truth?"

"I had every intension to do so, but at first I was too mad to tell him the truth and when I did he didn't believe me. He even convinced Cooper that I had sex with all those men."

"Oh those two idiots. It's always the same with them, once they think they know the truth there is no way to convince them otherwise. Do you want me to talk to them?"

"No, it's okay Daddy. They will find out the truth soon enough and right now, I don't even care. I have enough other things to deal with, if they want to behave like that, so be it."

My dad looks at me and smirks. "You know Annie, I think you should try to talk to Christian. I do not appreciate the way he talked to you or the way he grabbed your arm, but it is pretty clear that he is so jealous he can't see straight."

"What, why would Christian be jealous?"

"Annie, come on. Now you are being obtuse. That boy has it bad for you, your mom and I could see it months before you went to europe. And I wasn't going to tell you this, because I didn't want to rain on his parade. But the day you went to europe, he stopped by late in the evening wanting to see you. He had a huge bouquet of red roses with him and looked like a beaten dog when I had to tell him that you left a couple of days early. Now imagine how a guy who has it bad for a girl has to wait while she in europe and he gets pictures of her with different men in each town she stays in."

I look at my Dad. This can't be true. Christian stopping by with red roses for me? No way!

"Are you sure the roses were for me?"

"Well, they better not have been for your mother or little sister" he says making me laugh.

"Okay, even if they would have been for me, he could have listened to me before he started to go all asshole on me."

"Annie, be real, we are talking about Christian, when have patience and listening to other people has even been one of his strong sides."

"But still, even if it was true and I had slept with those men, he has no right to judge me. I wouldn't judge him no matter how many women he has been with."

"Annie, I know you won't like what I am going to say next, but no guy wants to date the village whore. It's different with guys, a guy should be experienced, but a girl well the less guys she has been with before the better."

I can't help it, I groan in frustration. "That's so stupid, daddy. I hate double standards, I mean not that I want to have sex with many different men, but it seems very hypocritically that men are allowed to have sex with who ever they want, while women either have to wait for Mister Right or they end up being called a slut."

My dad leans over the table and kisses my forehead. "I get where you are coming from Annie, but that's a thing that is routed so deep even in today's society that I don't think you can do anything about it. And Annie, if Christian finds out how wrong he was, let him grovel, you deserve to be treated like a princess and he better learn that pretty fast or I end up kicking his ass."

On our way home I remain silent. Why would Christian show up to see me with red roses? I don't even dare to think for one second that he might have wanted to confess his feelings for me ... but what if that is the reason why he showed up? Could he really be jealous? And what's more important would I still consider starting a relationship with him after the way he has treated me for the last couple of days? My next appointment with Flynn can't come soon enough. There is so much I need to talk about, Elena, Ethan and now the possibility that Christian has feelings for me.

At home I decide to check on Anya and find her pouting in her room.

"Hey what happened?"

"Oh my gosh Ana! Mom embarrassed me so much, I was changing into the disposable gown and she came in to look if I needed help tying it in the back and I was like totally naked and she started to debate the size of my boobs and that they are way to big. I wanted to die! Honestly, we have to do something, like buy a book with the title _'How not to embarrass your daughter in public'_" she says and I have to giggle.

"Believe me, if there was a book like that, I would have bought it for mom years ago."

"Has she embarrassed you, too?" Anya asks and I flop down next to her on the bed.

"More than once. One time I went to the drug store with her and there was this one guy from my middle school that I really liked and we started to talk at the register while our moms were shopping in there. When mom came to get me she handed me a package of tampons with super plus absorbency, telling me that our housekeeper told her there was blood in all my jeans and panties last time I had my period, so clearly the normal absorbency wasn't enough for me. I wanted to die and of course that boy never looked at me again."

"Wow, that's so embarrassing, I would have never talked to her again, like ever!" Anya says wide-eyed.

"That's what I thought, too. But in the end that's how mom is, sometimes she has no filter whatsoever."

"Yeah, maybe I should make a list with topics I do not want her to discuss in public with me" she says just when the door to her room opens and Kate and Mia come in with a gift basket.

"Hi, umm this is for you, Anya. You know my asshead of a brother would never apologize, but I felt like I had to do something. It's just some make up, chocolate, some gift cards for the mall." Kate says and hands Anya the gift basket.

"Thanks, but you didn't have to buy something for me."

"Yes, I had to, I knew he was taking you to clubs you weren't old enough to get into, but I thought you know, you are like a little sister to all of us and what he did, maybe if I had opened my eyes to how Ethan really is before ... anyways it's just a little something."

"Okay, thanks and umm ... Mia, please don't hate me" Anya whispers not daring to look at Mia.

"If I hate anyone then it's Ethan, he used me and he used you, if the two of us end up not talking now, then he won. So, I thought instead of feeling sorry for myself, let's have some fun. There is this ice cream shop called _**Bottega Italiana**_ near Pike Market and I thought we could all go there now, have tons of ice cream and forget all about Ethan for good." Mia says with a big smile and so we all agree and drive to town together. This is just what I need right now, hanging out with my sister and friends and trying not to think about Christian at all, _well at least for a little while ..._


	7. Chapter 7

_**A/N: A little warning, the shit is going to hit the fan in this chapter. When I started this story I had two scenes in my head, one was the first chapter and the second was, what was supposed to be this chapter and included Christian losing control and dragging Ana into his playroom. Let's just say after I had written half of the chapter I felt disgusted with Christian, couldn't bring myself to write anymore and couldn't see any possible way to ever get them together, so I decided take a different direction. **_

_**I had some of you asking if I was going to write Christian's POV and yes, next chapter will be from Christian's POV. **_

**There is one guest reviewer who really dislikes Ana in this story and thinks her characterization is off kilter and she is all over the place, because she has panic attacks, but still can be badass in other scenes. **_**- Yes, I agree it seems a little off. The thing is as I have never experienced panic attacks, I have to rely on what I do know about them. While I was in school around the age of 15 I've met my best friend, she appeared to be really badass and wouldn't take crap from anyone. What I didn't know when I met her was that she suffered from panic attacks. You would have never guessed that she was suffering from panic attacks if you'd met her back then. She would argue with teachers about her grades, give speeches in front of the entire school or tell bullies where to go, but simple things like standing in line at the register could make her have panic attacks. With therapy she eventually stopped having panic attacks, but the one thing she would always say about them and still does, is that the thing that scared her the most about them was not the moment when she had a panic attack, but the fact that they came so randomly, so she had no way to just avoid certain situations to get over them. So when I decided that Ana would suffer from panic attacks in this story I pretty much used my best friend as inspiration for Ana's character. I'm sorry that you dislike the way I have pictured Ana in this story, but I can promise you she will get better as the story progresses and won't seem all over the place anymore...**_

**Now on to chapter 7...**

_**Ana**_

The last two weeks have been so heavenly calm that I could relax for the first time since I have come home after my time in Europe. Most likely this is due to the fact that I have devoted all my time into decorating and re-furnishing my apartment. I have also spent a lot of time with my sister, Mia and Kate. And of course, I haven't seen Christian or Elena in the last two weeks. Cooper called a couple of times offering his help with the move, but I told him I need some time to cool off, and as long as he believes what other people tell him about me more than what I tell him, it will be best for us not to hang out. I guess that has hurt him, but he has hurt me too when he chose to believe Christian and not me.

Elliot was a great help in the last two weeks. We hang out a lot lately as he is still pissed at Christian and Cooper; and he also helped me to get my apartment ready. Everything went so smoothly, that three days ago I could move in and I had Mia, Kate, Anya, her best friend Niki and Elliot all stay over here the first night after my move. We had tones of pizza, ice cream and other unhealthy food, watched horror movies all night and ended up falling asleep in front of the TV. It was one of the best days I had in a long while and we want to repeat that as soon as possible.

Another thing that really makes me breathe a little easier is that I only had one panic attack in the last two weeks. It was the morning after my confrontation with Elena. I came downstairs and my mom pulled me aside, asking me if I knew how to get the video from the CCTV, as she wanted to watch how Elena fell into the pool. I could barely tell her that I would go get it, before I ran into the next bathroom and had to throw up.

I didn't even think about the fact that we have a CCTV in the pool area. But since my parents are rich and my dad is a control freak, he has CCTV at all possible ways that someone could get into the house, including the indoor pool as it has a side door to the back yard. I went into the monitor room and had to look through many different files on the computer, but in the end I found the right one, made a copy on my USB flash drive and deleted the file. I told my mom the file was already deleted, as usually the files are only stored for 24 hours and get deleted automatically after that.

I kept a copy because maybe one day I can show it to Christian. At the moment I am light-years away from wanting to convince him that I am not a slut nor a liar, but maybe one day I want to and then I can show him that it was Elena who started all of this. As per Carrick's wish I am no longer involved in bringing Elena down. I'm not sure what Carrick's PI has found, but it must be some serious shit. Carrick only mentioned human trafficking and that I have to stay away from Elena at all cost. I almost panicked hearing this, but Carrick assured me that Christian doesn't seem to know what she is doing.

I guess that is a good thing, but then again, even while he behaved like a complete and utter asshole to me since my return, I could never picture Christian being part of anything like this. I just hope that Carrick will find a way to get Elena behind bars without her trying to drag Christian down with her. Being associated with something like this could easily ruin his reputation and in turn is company. I don't think he would survive losing everything he has worked so hard for in the last 8 years. I almost regret getting Carrick involved in this, but in the end, it is best it is him who uncovers the depths of Elena Lincoln's depravity than the FBI or someone else. At least he can try to keep Christian's name out of it and I am sure there are enough other things left without the fact that she has seduced Christian, that will ensure that she will spend the rest of her miserable existence behind bars.

I hope this all ends soon, the sooner Christian is free of her the better. Maybe then he will realise that in reality she is the liar. As I think about this, I feel myself getting restless. I look at my watch and it is just 7 in the morning. I decide to change into my jogging outfit and go for a run to clear my thoughts. I'm usually not a fan of jogging, especially on a typical rainy Seattle morning, but today I just need to get out and not just use the gym for a workout. Once outside I set my I-pod to shuffle and take off in the direction of Pike Place Market.

After my morning run I am so hungry, I decide rather than to go home and cook something, I'll just eat at Lola's a nice breakfast restaurant near Escala on 4th Avenue. I know that those delicious eggs Benedict I have ordered probably have more calories than I lost on my run, but I'm just in the mood for a heavy breakfast.

When I return to Escala, I see the black Audi SUV leave the garage and know that Christian is in it. He always goes to Grey House around this time and I am glad I didn't run into him. To be honest, I have avoided running into Christian and so far I don't think he even knows that I am now living at Escala, too and I would like to keep it that way for a while. So, I avoid leaving Escala or returning around the times he usually leaves and returns. I know he will find out at some point, but I would like it if it was by a time he already knows that I didn't lie, because otherwise I expect him to go bat shit crazy on me, and that is the last thing I need right now.

Back home I go through some of the things that I still have to do for my parents anniversary and my piano teacher and vocal coach Richard shows up around noon for our daily lesson. By now I'm good enough to follow through with my surprise and according to my teacher I have a real talent. But honestly, I can sing and play about five songs which is not much in my opinion and I'm not sure if I am going to take anymore lessons after I have surprised my parents.

Later that day I meet with Kate and Anya at Neiman's, so we can all pick out our dresses for the anniversary party. Since our parents forced us to wear all the same dresses as kids for events like this, we shop together now just to make sure no one has the same dress, because we all hated wearing the same. Mia already has her dress and has send us a picture, so we know what not to buy.

Anya quickly finds a dress and Kate being Kate buys six new dresses. I on the other hand just can't find the right one. I wander absent mindedly through the store until my gaze gets caught by a beautiful evening gown. And I know right away why I stop and stare at the dress. The color of the dress reminds me of Christian's eyes. Before I can change my mind I ask if the dress is available in my size and moments later I'm in the changing room. I love the dress, it is perfect. I leave the changing room and Kate and Anya gasp when they see me.

"Oh my gosh, you have to buy this dress, it's perfect Ana. This is so your dress, you look like a fairy." Anya gushes and Kate is nodding her head all excited.

"Okay, okay, calm down, both of you. I'll buy it." I giggle and after we buy shoes and some jewelry to match our outfits Anya and Kate head home, while I have to buy some groceries. I arrive home at half past 7 in the evening and get into the elevator. Just when the doors are about to close two people are getting in with me and I cringe when I see that it is Christian and Ros Baily, the COO of his company.

"Ana, wow I haven't seen you in a long time. How are you? Are you here to visit Christian?" Ros asks the moment the elevator doors close and she recognizes me.

"Hi Ros, I'm fine, you? And no, I'm not visiting Christian, I live here." I tell her and she looks at me wide-eyed, while I do not dare to look at Christian.

"With Christian?"

"What? No! I bought an apartment on the 16th floor, I moved in 3 days ago" I answer and inwardly I will the elevator to ride up fast. This is probably the most uncomfortable elevator ride of my life.

"Oh, I see. Well, it was great to see you again" she says and to my great relief the elevator finally stops at my floor and I hurry out as if the freaking thing was on fire. Though I can still hear Ros ask Christian if she said something wrong because I didn't even say goodbye.

In my apartment I just drop my shopping bags, walk straight into the kitchen and pour myself a glass of chilled white wine to calm my nerves. Once I have relaxed I make myself a salad with chicken breast for dinner and enjoy my meal while listening to some classical music. After that I decide to take a long hot bath.

15 minutes later the tub is filled with my favorite rose bubble bath. I have music playing in the background, another glass of white wine and I'm just about to get into my tub when I hear someone knock against the door. Great, I decide to ignore whoever it is, but then I hear it.

"Anastasia open the fucking door! I know you are home!"

Just fucking great. It's Christian and he sounds pissed. I hurry naked into my bedroom and put the dress I was wearing today back on before I hurry to the door, still hearing Christian knocking against it.

I open and he glares down at me. "Did you think I would leave if you would just ignore me?" he snaps.

"No, I was just about to get into the tub and I'm not in the habit of opening my door naked." I snap back pissed by his tone.

"Why are you here, why did you move to Escala?" he asks just a bit more calm.

"Come in, I think my neighbors won't appreciate hearing us talk in the hallway." I let him in and lead him into the kitchen.

"Do you want a glass of wine?" I ask, because frankly I need one and it would be rude not to offer him a drink too.

"Yes, please" he mutters sits down on one of the bar stools by the breakfast bar and looks around.

"Nice place, I like the colors."

"Thanks, Elliot helped me redecorating and moving." I explain, take both glasses to the breakfast bar and sit down next to him, turning on the bar stool so I'm facing him.

"Are you fucking him now, too?" he asks and I have to close my eyes and count to ten to suppress the urge to empty my glass of wine in his face.

"No, I am not. In fact, I haven't fucked anyone in my entire life and that probably makes me the only 22 years old virgin in Seattle." I snap bitterly and he shakes his head as if he is disappointed.

"You know Ana, it's one thing to fuck around, but if you have to do it then you should at least not lie about it."

"Oh my god, are you serious? You are such a hypocrite Christian and for someone who prides himself with the ability of being good in reading people you are doing a piss poor job at it, so if you only came here to insult me then I want you to leave now. Because this is my home and I don't have to listen to your shit in here, get out!"

"I did not come here to insult you" he growls and pushes to his feet while running both hands through his hair.

"Then why are you here? What do you want from me, Christian?" I yell at him and get up aswell.

"You want to know what I want from you? Fuck Ana! I show you what I want from you!" he yells back and as he steps forward I'm afraid he is going to hit me, but just like the day I returned from Europe he grabs me and seals my lips with his.

_Oh no, not again! _And I know after all he has done I should push him away and tell him to go to hell, but it feels like I have lost all common sense, because instead of doing that, I wrap my arms around his neck, my fingers glide into his hair and my body presses against his shamelessly.

I don't know what it is, his hands which are gliding all over me, his tongue which pushes into my mouth tasting and teasing me or the fact that I have clearly lost my mind, but I want him. Even after all he has done since I came back, I want him and I want him now. And before I can even think about what this means I find myself on the floor with him on top of me and somewhere in my completely overwhelmed state I think I hear the sound of a zipper. I feel his erection pushing against my entrance and freeze. No, not like this, I think and break free from our kiss.

"Christian wait I've never... " and then it's too late. I screw my eyes shut and whimper as the pain inside me slowly spreads through my entire body. I can feel hot tears run down my cheeks and slowly open my eyes as the pain subsides. Well, this was not how I envisioned to lose my virginity, but at least now he knows the truth. I look into Christian's eyes and see that he is white as a ghost, his eyes wide in shock and after a second he starts to mutter the word _'No'_ over and over again.

"You ... I ... I didn't ... I would never have ... I ... oh my god" he stutters and I wince as he pulls out of me jumps to his feet and before I can even comprehend what is happening he is at the door. Oh no, he can't leave. Not like this, I don't want him to leave.

"Christian please" I beg and for a second he hesitates, but then he is out of the door and I am alone in my apartment. I just sit there with my arms wrapped around my knees staring at the door that Christian has closed behind him.

I understand that he was shocked, but even after all that has happened between us in the last two weeks this hurts me the most. He knows the truth now and he still left me here all alone. If I ever needed more proof that Christian doesn't care about me at all, now I have it. I guess this was the closest I will ever be to him and funny enough it was the fact that I am not a liar or a slut which has ruined everything. And with that thought in my mind I rest my head on my knees and finally succumb to my tears...

_**The next chapter should be up this weekend and it will be Christian's POV. I'm still not happy with this chapter, but at least it is not as terrible as the first version and there is still hope for A&C to get a HEA, though Christian now has to pull out the big guns in terms of groveling to get Ana to forgive him... so, let me know what you think, even if you absolutely hated it...**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**Warning loooonnng note ;-) So, I feel like I have to clear the air a little. Let's start with the easy questions, shall we?**_

_**Did they have unprotected sex? - No, while Christian didn't use a condom, Ana is taking the pill since her teenage years for medical reasons, as mentioned in chapter 5 or 6. **_

_**Will Ana get pregnant? - No, with everything that is going on a baby really does not fit into the story right now.**_

**And now on to a more complicated topic. **

_**Did he rape her? - In my opinion no, and it was not my intention to make it look like he did, but maybe I wasn't clear enough on that in the last chapter. Ana wanted to have sex with him, what she was trying to tell him was that she is still a virgin, so that he would take things slower. Had she struggled against him, pushed him away or done anything to make it clear she didn't want him, he would have stopped (and just to make that clear, I'm not blaming Ana now. Christian behaved like an asshole and worse). Even in this story Christian is not twisted enough to rape Ana, but I do apologize if it came across that way, because as the author of the story I should have made that clearer for all of my readers. If you look back, the way he grabbed her and kissed her is the exact same way he has done in chapter one, only this time they didn't have an audience, so he took things further. **_

_**I do realise that I have upset many readers with the last chapter and that was not my intension, so I do apologize for that as well. **_

_**Another thing that I want to address here is that I have not only gotten a huge respond in reviews for the last chapter, but also in pm's. Some were really upset with the chapter and the way I have portrait Christian, but again, I understand that and have replied to almost every pm I got, and if I have missed one I'm sorry, but there were just so many messages. A couple of people however thought that the last chapter was so disgusting, that they decided to report the story, which is one of the reasons I have tried to get this chapter done as quickly as possible. So, if the story disappears from your alert or favorite lists it probably got deleted... if that happens I'm sorry but I won't post it here again. **_

_**Lastly, there is the question of a HEA and if Ana will date someone else - To be completely honest, I'm not sure where this is going. As a huge Ana and Christian fan I want them to end up together, but if at any point I feel like it just can't happen I might let them have a different kind of HEA where they not end up as a couple, but still both happy. **_

_**As for Ana dating someone else, okay I am going to make a confession now, I'm itching to have Ana date Elliot, but this will make things only more complicated. So, I leave it up to you my dear readers. Read this chapter and leave me a review with your vote on Ana and Elliot. I count your votes before I start to write the new chapter on sunday and what ever gets the majority of votes will happen. And maybe while you're at it, let me know if you want a HEA for Ana and Christian as a couple or as friends. I leave the choice up to you...**_

_**Christian**_

Getting out of the elevator into my penthouse I head directly into my study and start to pace. What have I done? She didn't lie, I got this all wrong... if there was ever a doubt that I end up in hell one day, now it's a given. I basically forced myself on her and she was a virgin ... a fucking virgin. I know I should go back to her apartment and talk to her somehow try to make it up to her...

_Hah, make it up to her? What do you plan to do, Grey? That was her first time and you ruined it and left her on the fucking kitchen floor because you are a fucking coward who is too afraid to face the music... _That little voice in my head tells me and suddenly the enormity of what I have done to Ana, not just today, but ever since she came back from Europe comes crashing down on me and I just manage to grab the wastebasket before I double over and empty the contents of my stomach into it.

Sinking to the floor I lean against my desk and remember Ana's words. _...for someone who prides himself with the ability of being good at reading people you are doing a piss poor job at it...  
_  
_**Truer words have never been spoken**_. I'm not only the biggest asshole in this world. But also the greatest idiot of all times. She lied to me, that fucking bitch lied to me and I was dumb enough to believe her and now I will never be able to make it up to Ana. In just 6 months I went from being a man with hope to a man who has lost all hope of a future with the woman he loves and it's all my fault, my own stupidity and Elena's malignity...

_**-Flashback 6 months earlier-**_

_Sitting at the breakfast bar and having dinner with Elena, I mentally go through my plans for later this evening. Today is the day. Today I will finally speak to Ana. For the last year I have struggled with myself. I didn't think that I am good enough for her and I could never ask her to become a part of my lifestyle. I have known her all my life, she is pure and innocent, everything that is good and she never even had a boyfriend. But more so, I could never hurt her. The thought is abhorrent to me._

_So, I struggled with those feelings inside me when ever I saw Ana. My decision to give up my lifestyle and figure out if I can function without it was finally made 6 months ago. It was a saturday morning and I had dismissed my last sub the week before. And when I woke up I was already in a piss poor mood, knowing that Gail was visiting her sister and I had to go out for breakfast. So I got ready for the day and just when I left my bedroom I heard music coming from the kitchen and the smell is food in lingering in the air. _

_I walk up in the kitchen and there she is. Ana. She is dressed in jeans shorts and a camisole, her hair pulled into a high ponytail and she is cooking._

_"Ana?" I ask because I had no idea that she would be here, usually she stays over during the week, if she has to stay late at her college, but for obvious reasons she never stayed here during the weekends._

_"Hi, sorry. I know we agreed that I would call and ask if it is okay for me to sleep here, but it was already after midnight and didn't want to wake you by calling that late."_

_"It's okay, did you learn late again?"_

_"I tried, the learn group that I had escalated into a party with tons of alcohol and while I was sitting in a corner trying to get my essay ready some drunken idiot threw up all over my laptop. That's when I decided to leave. Do you think your IT guy can get the files from my laptop it's not working anymore and the smell is disgusting." _

_"Sure, I'll call him after breakfast, he can come here and safe your files, do you need a new laptop?"_

_"No, I'll buy one on my way home, I just need my files or else I'm screwed. I guess that teaches me to safe my essays and other college stuff on a flash drive just to be safe. Oh, I wasn't sure but is omelette and some cut fruit for breakfast okay?"  
_  
_"Perfect, do you want to stay here and learn?" I ask and she smirks.  
_  
_"Is that your way of asking me if I want to cook for you until Gail is back so you don't have to live on cold cuts and take out for the rest of the weekend?" she asks laughing and pretend to pout.  
_  
_"Well, maybe, besides you are not the worst company in the world."  
_  
_"Oh, you can do better than that if you want me to cook for you, maybe even my special mac and cheese." She grins and she knows that I would do just about anything for her to cook this particular dish for me, what she doesn't know is that I would do just about anything for her anyway.  
_  
_"Fine, you are the best company in the world and I'm even going so far as to promise to watch one of that awful movies you like so much with you, if you stay and cook mac and cheese for me."  
_  
_And so she stayed the weekend and it was the best weekend of my life. After that I realised, that this is what I want, I want to spend every day for the rest of my life with Ana, even if it would mean that I had to give up the lifestyle that gave me control and focus. At first it wasn't easy, I felt out of control and having a sub was my coping mechanism, that was until I learned to focus on my new goal, which is Ana.  
_  
_So now, after 6 months I am ready. Maybe I would have waited longer, but she will leave for Europe in 4 days and I can't let her go. So, tonight is the night. Fuck me, I was never that nervous, if she tells me that she doesn't have the same feelings for me then I will be crushed. Mia sometimes hinted that I should ask Ana on a date, so this is my only inkling as to how Ana feels..._

_"Christian, are you even listening to me?" Elena's voice pulls me back to the now and I look at her.  
_  
_"I'm sorry, Elena I was deep in thoughts, what were you saying?"  
_  
_"I was telling you that I have found the perfect sub for you she..." I hold my hand up to stop her. Christ, she is annoying. Trying to get me a new sub as if I couldn't find a new sub alone if that was what I wanted. Well, I might as well tell her now to put an end to this.  
_  
_"Elena I am not interested in finding a new submissive, in fact, I am no longer interested in the lifestyle at all." hearing me say this she gasps audible.  
_  
_"You are joking right?"  
_  
_"No, the woman I want to be with is not part of the lifestyle and I am not going to drag her into it, she is better than that."  
_  
_"And who would that woman be?"  
_  
_"You'll see." I look at my watch and realise that it is already after 8 in the evening, so I have to leave if I want to see Ana today.  
_  
_"I know I am being rude, Elena, but I have to leave now. Please, finish your meal without me." before she can say anything I get up and leave my penthouse. Taking my R8 I only make one stop at a flower shop where I buy the biggest bouquet of red roses I can get and continue to drive to Bellevue until I arrive at her parent's home.  
_  
_Shit, this is it, either I end up being the happiest son of a bitch in a couple of minutes or I end up ruining our friendship. I guess there is only one way to find out. So, I take the flowers get out of my car and ring the doorbell. After a couple of minutes later it is her dad who opens.  
_  
_"Christian, what are you doing here this late, are those for me?" he smirks and points his head to the flowers in my hands._

_"Good evening Ray, actually I am here to speak to Ana, is she home?" _

_"I guess she really didn't call anyone." he murmurs._

_"Called, why?"_

_"You know how upset Ana was after her fall out with Mia and Kate. She tried to talk to them yesterday and it must have gone wrong. Anyway today she came to Carla and I and told us she would be leaving today. I'm sorry Christian, but Ana is already on the plane to Madrid."_

_For a moment I feel like all the air has left me. Fuck, I'm too late, she is already on her way to Europe. _

_"You okay son? Want to come in and sit for a moment?"  
_  
_"No, thank you, Ray. It's late, I should probably go home." I turn around get back into my car and just drive back home. Damn it, at any other time I would have just gotten my jet ready and followed her to Europe, but I'm in the middle of a deal that can either break or make GEH, there is no way I can leave Seattle for at least another two weeks.  
_  
_Fuck, why didn't she call me? I thought we were friends, wasn't I even important enough for a simple phone call?_

_Once I'm back home I'm so pissed all I want is to have a drink, but to my great annoyance the first thing I see when I get into my penthouse is Elena sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine. _

_"Why are you still here?" I snap_

_"Well look at you, I guess it didn't go as you expected"_

_"No" I hiss and get myself a tumbler of whisky.  
_  
_"Did she say no to you? Honestly Christian, if ..."  
_  
_"She didn't say shit Elena, she has left the country for a trip to Europe. She wasn't supposed to leave for another four days and now she is gone." I mutter and down the whisky in gulp.  
_  
_"Europe, oh my god, are you talking about Ana? Carla's daughter?" Fuck, and now she knows..._

_"Yes."_

_"Oh darling, that girl is not right for you. She ... oh well, I shouldn't talk about it." Elena says and now my interest is piqued._

_"Talk about what?"_

_"This stays between us Christian. As you know Carla is a dear friend of mine and she would never forgive me if she knew I told anyone."_

_"Told anyone what, Elena. Spit it out, you know I'm not a patient man!"_

_"Ana, I don't know how to put this in a nicer term, but the girl is a slut. Carla and Ray are desperate to hide it from everyone. One day Carla finally confided in me because she couldn't take it anymore. She had to put her on the pill when Ana was just 15, after ... " Elena stops and looks deep in thoughts for a moment._

_"Do you remember when Ana threw up all over principal at her middle school graduation?"_

_"Yes, why?"_

_"Morning sickness, she was pregnant at 14! Right after graduation Carla told everyone she would take Ana on a mother daughter trip to California, in reality the girl had an abortion. Carla hoped that would have taught Ana a lesson not to get involved with boys, but she kept doing it. I have to say, she is a smart girl, no one would ever believe that she could be like that. She plays the role of the little innocent girl very well, I guess that is why so far no one has figured it out. But Christian, as your friend I just have to warn you. I would hate for her to hurt you and that is what she will do if given the chance. Carla begged her to settle down and find a nice boyfriend, do you know what Ana told her?"_

_"No" fuck, this can't be true. Elena must be lying, Ana is pure and innocent, none of this can be true. Wouldn't Cooper know? Shit, what if it is true, after all Elena has never lied to me and she has helped me so much. I don't know what to believe._

_"She told Carla and I quote : 'Mom, having a boyfriend would be like having the same food for every meal, why stay with one when I can have it all' isn't that terrible, Christian?" _

_"Why does no one know? Wouldn't Carla have told my mom and Cooper, why doesn't he know."_

_"Christian, don't be stupid. Had Grace known what kind of girl Ana is, do you think she would have let her anywhere near Mia? And once people would have noticed that Grace was against Ana and Mia being friends the rumors would have started. And her brother. My god Christian, be real. That boy has a mean temper almost worse than yours, he would have made a scene whenever Ana would have even stand next to a man and that in turn would have also caused rumors. Ray and Carla are trying to protect her from public humiliation and of course no one wants to admit that the own daughter turned out to be that way."_

_"I can't believe that she is like that. Not my Ana."  
_  
_"Christian, please open your eyes. This girl is playing a role, the saint in front of all her friends and family and as soon as they turn their back on her she opens her legs for anyone who crosses her path. Of course, if that is what you want..."  
_  
_"No, she can't be like that."  
_  
_"Fine, you don't have to believe me, I am just trying to help you. I don't want you to get hurt, darling. I know someone, a PI. He can follow her through Europe, I guess it won't take long until she has the first man come to her room. I will give him a call and he will be on the next plane."  
_  
_"Alright, hire him. If this is really true, then I want to see proof."  
_  
_**-End of Flashback-**  
_

And that's when everything went down the drain. I received pictures of men coming and leaving Ana's room. Saw Ana hugging some of them, saw pictures of her wearing next to nothing in a club and was told how Elena's PI had to step in at multiple occasions or else Ana would have ended up having sex in public and I started to believe it. Still I kept a last bit of hope until the day she came home. I told myself maybe Elena was wrong, maybe there was a simple explanation, maybe if I would send Ana to see a gynecologist he would tell me she is still a virgin or I don't know just give me any reason to believe that Elena was wrong.

Instead Ana got all defensive and didn't tell me who those guys were the day she came back and that was the day I finally believed Elena. I swallowed her lies and treated Ana so poorly, damn it. I will never be able to redeem myself. Not only did I insult her at any given chance, I also turned Cooper against her by showing him those pictures. And when she finally told us the truth, because now I have to believe that those guys really are music teachers, I didn't believe her.

Shit, it seemed like such a stupid lie at the time. Everyone who knows Ana knows that she would go a long way to avoid being in the center of attention. For her to want to surprise her parents by singing for them in front of a crowd, that just seemed like such a stupid lie. Now, I know the only thing stupid was me. And tonight, god damn it, she told me she is a virgin and again I didn't believe her.

I feel sick to my stomach thinking about what I have done. Shit, I have to talk to her and I have to do it now. _Man up, Grey. No matter what will happen you deserve it and worse!  
_  
I get up and head back to the elevator pressing the call button until the doors open. Outside Ana's apartment I take a deep breath and knock. I wait and wait and ... wait. Nothing, I knock again and three more times, but nothing happens. She has to be home, where would she go this late? It's after 11 in the evening. I knock again and lean my forehead against the door.

"Please Ana, I know you are home. You don't have to let me in, but please just talk to me. I know I will never be able to make this up to you, but I need to try. Please, please say something, tell me that you hate me, anything, just say something" I beg hoping that she is on the other side of the door listening. I don't do begging, but for her I will. I would do anything to make her forgive me. "Please, Ana, just one word, say something I'm begging you."

"Excuse me?" I turn around when I hear a female voice and see a young woman in her mid twenties standing just outside her apartment.

"Miss Steele is not home. Her brother stopped by about 30 minutes ago and she left with him."

"Her brother?"

"Well, I just assumed he is her brother, nice young man, tall well built, late twenties would be my guess. He helped her move in and visits her here. I think she called him Elliot."

"I see, thank you" I mutter. At least she is safe. Damn it, Elliot told me I am dead wrong about Ana and I didn't believe him. Why did I chose to believe Elena and not him? I'm such a fucked up son of a bitch!

"Do you need a tissue?" the young woman asks and I frown. "Well umm you are crying" she stutters and I reach up at my cheeks feel the wetness and frown even more. I haven't cried since ... fuck, I can't even remember when I have cried the last time.

"No, thanks" I mutter clipped and walk towards the elevator. There is no sense in driving over to Elliot's tonight. Ana clearly left so she wouldn't have to see me and I can't blame her. This was the biggest fuck up in the history of the world and as I walk towards the elevator again I feel the anger inside of me rising.

I'm angry at myself, so much if possible I would like to give myself a caning for what I have done to Ana, but at the same time I am boiling with anger against Elena. For the longest time I saw her as my closest friend and she lied to me. She looked me in the eyes, knowing that I wanted to be with Ana, and she lied to me trying to make me hate Ana. Trying to keep me from confessing my feeling for her to her. And she did. Like the stupid fucker I am I believed her and all of her lies. At this point I wouldn't even be surprised if most of the pictures her so-called PI gave me were photoshoped to make it look worse than it really was.

In the elevator I press the button for the garage instead of the penthouse. It might be too late to see Ana for tonight, but it is not too late to confront Elena. She will have to answer me tonight. In the garage I had for my R8 and in my rage I'm at her house in almost half of the time than it would usually take. I doesn't bother to knock and just grab the spare key that is hidden in a fake rock in one of the flower beds near the entrance.

Once inside I make my way to the salon and freeze just outside when I see the scene in front of me. Elena is sitting in her Domme outfit on the sofa, the leash, which is attached to the collar of her submissive in one hand and a thick riding crops in the other hand. Her sub is naked on all fours on the floor balancing a plate with grapes on his back.

I know this fucked up scene, she is teaching him to keep still under all circumstances. If that poor fucker moves and a grape rolls of the plate or worse the plate falls to the floor she really lets him have it until he can't sit for a week. But what has me shocked is the submissive. I know Isaac and this is not him. This boy is a fucking teenager. God damn it, she swore to me that she was not into kids, that I was special, because she wanted to help me so badly.

I want to yell at her, but instead I leave the house and contemplate to call the cops or get back inside and beat the shit out of her. And as I pace outside her house the realisation slowly kicks in. She is a pedophile, the woman I thought of as my dearest friend, the only person who I thought would really understand me, she is nothing but a sick and twisted pedophile and I was nothing, but one of her victims. She used me, controlled me even after our relationship ended and I have let her.

For the second time in one day I find myself throwing up, this time into one of the flower beds. Once my stomach is now completely empty I reach for my phone. Fuck her, I'm calling the cops, that boy is in his teens, lets see how she is going to weasel her way out of that one.

I'm just about to dial 911 when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

"Put the phone away, son" I turn around and stare at my father.

"Dad, what are you doing here."

"Give me your car keys, Christian. You are in no state to drive, let's go before she notices us here." he says and I have don't know what else to do so I hand him my keys and follow him to my car. Once we are on the road I realise we are not going to my parent's home.

"Where are we going, Dad?"

"My office, we have a lot to talk about, Christian." he says his gaze fixed on the road, but deep down I know that he knows. Funny enough, I don't care anymore. For the longest time it was my greatest fear that my family would find out about my lifestyle and my relationship with Elena, but after today and all that has happened and what I know now, I simply don't care anymore. I have already reached my lowest point, there is nothing that could make things worse anymore.

Neither of us speaks until we reach the building which houses his office and he locks the door behind us once we are inside.

"Sit down, Christian" he mutters and hands me a bottle of water from the small fridge in the bar, in one corner of his office.

"Christian, I'm going to be honest with you. I know about you and Elena, I know about the lifestyle she has lured you into. I know that you stayed in the lifestyle, but no longer practise it. I know that you are a silent partner in Elena's salon business and I know that it was her who gave you the money to start your company. But there is one thing I don't know and I need to know. When did I fail you, son? When did I fail as a father, so you didn't feel like you could come to me and tell me what Elena is doing to you? I could have helped you, Christian. I would have moved heaven and earth to make sure she would never come anywhere near you again."

I stare at my father. He blames himself? He thinks this is his fault? It's not. It's my fault.

"Dad, this is not your fault. I wanted it, I was out of control and Elena showed me a way to cope with my anger, a way to focus and in the end take control myself. Or at least I thought she did, until tonight. Fuck, Dad she is a freaking pedophile. There was a boy, he was a teenager, she promised me she wasn't a pedophile, that I was her one exception to the rule, because she wanted to help me, but the boy..."

"The boy is 18, there is nothing we can do about that. It's not illegal."

"How do you know?"

"I have someone following her, for the last two weeks. Someone confided in me about Elena and ..."

"Ana" I interrupt him.

"Don't blame her Christian, that girl would walk over broken glass for you and that is why she came to me, to protect you and make sure that I would find a way to take Elena down without hurting you in the process. Once I had the first results I told Ana it was too dangerous for her to be involved. Elena is a dangerous woman, she nearly drowned Ana ..."

"Oh my god" I mutter. Fuck, I almost forgot about that. Elena told me Ana tried to drown her and of course, like the fucking puppet I was I believed Elena and called Ana a liar.

"Don't worry, son. I saw the CCTV video file Ana has given me. That girl can hold her own, Elena looked terrified when Ana was done with her, who would have thought that such a tiny person could be this terrifying. Anyway, I need you to keep your feet still Christian."

"No, she used me Dad. She fucking used me like a puppet and I want her to pay for it." I yell and slam my fist on the table.

"And she will, Christian. But this is not just about her being a pedophile, she is involved in human trafficking. We have to be careful or she will find out that we are on to her and she will run. It will take only a few more weeks to get all the information we need to present the case to the FBI. In the meantime I need you to stay calm. You don't have to talk to her, but for the love of god do not try to deal with her on your own, she has videos and pictures of you on her computer that could ruin your reputation forever, not to mention the public humiliation you would have to endure. I am trying to keep you out of this, so let me deal with this."

"What videos and pictures?" I ask feeling sick yet again.

"From the time when you and her were intimate."

"Have you seen them?"

"I have seen them and burned them, my PI needs some more time to find a way to delete them without her knowledge. This is one of the reason why I need you to keep calm. If you piss her off, she might decide to blackmail you with them or humiliate you by leaking some of them to the media."

"Does mom know?"

"No, and if I can help it, she will never find out. It will hit her hard enough to find out what her so-called friend was doing all those years, she doesn't need to live with that, too."

"Thank you Dad."

"You don't have to thank me, son. I would do anything to protect my children, but I need you to promise me one thing. No more secrets. I am your father and I don't ever want to discover things like that about you after I had to hire a PI again. I would never judge you. If this lifestyle is what makes you happy, so be it. I'm not claiming to understand it, but I have done enough research to understand that as long as it happens between consenting adults, there is nothing wrong with it."

"I don't need the lifestyle anymore Dad and after everything I discovered tonight, it has lost every last bit of appeal it might had to me. All I want is for Elena to pay for what she has done. If I have to keep my feet still for a few more weeks I'll do it, but I want her to pay."

"And she will, I promise you that she will pay for what she has done, but there is one more thing I need to know. Who else knows that you were involved with Elena?"

"A couple of people from the community, but they wouldn't tell, because it would mean that they had to expose that they are into the lifestyle, too. The only other person is Linc."

"Linc, Elena's ex-husband?"

"Yes, he caught us in bed, after that we ended things, but don't worry about him. I own enough stock in Lincoln Timber to ruin him if he doesn't keep his mouth shut and he knows it, too."

"Good, now let's go, it is getting late, do you want to stay the night at Bellevue?"

"No, thanks Dad, I want to go home." I need to go home, so I can try to talk to Ana as soon as she is back home tomorrow. From now on, there are only two priorities in my life. Number one: Find a way to get Ana to forgive me. And number two: make sure that Elena's life will be living hell until the day she finally goes to hell for good...

_**If the story doesn't get deleted the next update will be on monday... **_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N: Hi guys :-) Thank you, thank you, thank you! I don't know what else to say. Your support for this story really blew me away. I cannot thank all of you enough! I also realised that there are quite a few readers from germany here, so ... Danke für eure Unterstützung und lieben Worte. Viele liebe Grüße aus dem Ruhrpott :-) Since I haven't heard anything from FF, I think it's safe to say that this story won't be deleted and I can continue The Wild Ones here on FF. **_

**I'm sorry if I haven't responded to all of the PM's so far but my inbox is so full, I'm still trying to find the time to respond to everyone, but between family, job, two dogs, a big house and five ongoing stories it's not that easy to find any extra time, but I'm getting there and I hope by the end of the week I'll have all PM's answered. **

_**I've read all your reviews and 99.9 percent want a HEA with Ana and Christian as couple, so that's what will happen. About Ana and Elliot dating, that seems to be a big no-go for most of my readers, so I won't go there. Well, not in this story anyway, but maybe one day I'll write a one-shot or short story about them as I love Elliot almost as much as Christian ;-)**_

**So a big thank you again for all your support and now on to chapter 9...**

_**Ana**_

I wake up the next morning and it takes me a couple of seconds to find out where I am. But then I see the painting of a naked woman on the wall facing the bed and I know where I am. Elliot's guest room.

I wish I would be in my bedroom, because that would mean yesterday was a bad dream. I have no idea whether I should laugh or cry about what happened yesterday. My first inclination was to cry and to hope that Christian would come back and comfort me. Then I realised how pathetic that was and with every passing second I got madder until I started to fear that Christian would return and the whole situation would escalate. That in turn resulted in me giving myself a massive panic attack making me fear I wouldn't survive it this time. In my panic I called Elliot. Thank god I decided to give him a set of spare keys for my apartment. He was by my side within 15 minutes and managed to calm me down.

Of course, he wanted to know what happened, but all I told him was that Christian stopped by and we locked horns again. I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth, because I knew he would have gone to the penthouse to beat Christian to a pulp for that one. They are brothers, I don't want them to get into a fight over me, not just because I know Christian would never forgive Elliot if Elliot would attack him, but I know that in the long haul Elliot couldn't live with himself either.

I get up and take a shower before I get dressed. Most people need comfort food when they are upset, I on the other hand need comfort clothes. When I'm upset I want at least feel totally comfortable in my clothes, so I'm glad that Elliot who packed for me took a pair of dark jeans, tank top, a hoodie and chucks from my closet. I braid my hair and get downstairs, but Elliot is nowhere to be seen. I look around in his open living room with kitchen and find a note on the breakfast bar.

_**Taking your dogs out, will buy some bagels on my way. Coffee is ready. Elliot.  
**_  
I smile at the note, but instead of coffee I decide to have an orange juice. I find a bottle of orange juice in the fridge and pour myself a glass. When I sit down I wince. Damn it, I'm sore. Great just another unpleasant reminder of Christian, I think to myself just as Elliot's phone starts to ring. At first I think about answering the call, but I don't know if Elliot would like it if I would answer his phone, so I wait until I hear the answering machine.

"Hey this is Elliot Grey, please leave a message." comes Elliot's voice from the speaker on the answering machine and next I hear a voice I really didn't want to hear this morning.

"Elliot, it's me Christian. Look, I know that Ana is at your place. I stopped by her apartment this morning and she still wasn't here. I don't know what she has told you, but I fucked up, big time. Please, tell her to call me. Bye."

Call him? Yeah, right. Probably so he can yell it me for not making it even more clear that I am ... or was a virgin. The last thing I want right now is to talk to Christian. Just because he knows the truth now, doesn't mean that I am going to forgive him anytime soon. Plus, I know that if I see him now, I am going to lose it, big time.

15 minutes later Elliot returns and looks at me. "What is wrong?"

"Christian called, he left a message on your answering machine. He wants me to call him."

"And?"

"Nothing, I'm not going to call him. I don't want to see him or talk to him."

"Okay, look I don't want to pressure you into telling me anything, but I would really like to know what exactly happened yesterday. Do you want me to call him?"

I sigh, I know all Elliot wants is to help me, but I don't want to put this on him. "It's okay, Christian was just his usual asshole self. Come on let's have breakfast, I'm starving."

Elliot looks at me like he wants to say more, but in the ends he nods, we have breakfast and he drives me and my dogs back home.

"I'm coming up with you, I think it's time to have a little chat with my brother. He has to stop upsetting you at any given chance." Elliot says as we get out of the car and I cringe inwardly.

"It's okay, Elliot, really."

"No, it's not little one, so let's go." He gives me a look that tells me there is no way to change his mind about it, so I give up and get into the elevator with him.

As the doors of the elevator open at my floor open I gasp. There are 6 vases with the most beautiful flowers outside of my apartment and standing there is Christian holding another bouquet of flowers in his hands.

"Ana ... I've been waiting for you, those are for you" he says and hands me the flowers.

"Just go, Christian. There is nothing I want to talk about with you" I mutter without looking at him.

"Please Ana, I know that there is no apology for what I have done yesterday. But please, at least give me a chance to explain myself. I'll do what ever you want."

"Great, I want you to leave me alone. The time to talk was yesterday when you decided to just leave, now it's too late!" I snap.

"Look, I ... I was shocked, I don't even know myself what I was thinking. But I will do what ever it takes for you to forgive me." his voice sounds so desperate I almost expect him to drop to his knees and beg me for forgiveness, but only thinking about yesterday and all the other times since I am back when he insulted me is enough to ignore his desperate tone.

"Christian, what part of leave me alone don't you understand?"

He looks at me as if he is trying to find anything he could do to make me forgive him. "Look Ana, I'm an ass, I know, but I can make it up to you. I know I can, just give me a chance. You ... you like to go to the beach, right? I'll buy you your own island, would you like that?"

Oh my god! Tell me he did not just try to freaking _**buy**_ my forgiveness. Okay, now I'm officially mad.

"Are you out of your mind, Christian? What is wrong with you? You think you can buy my forgiveness? Why not just hand me fifty bucks for a quick fuck in a corner somewhere? You are disgusting! Leave! Leave me the fuck alone" In my rage I start to hit him with the flowers he handed me earlier making him walk backwards towards the elevator until his back is against the doors. I drop the flowers, push the button for the elevator.

"Ana, please..."

"No, not Ana please! I begged you to stay and you just left me there. And you can't even apologize without fucking it up. I don't know what is wrong with you, but I don't want to see you until you a have managed to get your shit together." I hiss at him turn around and stalk towards my door still fuming and when I see the other flowers around my door I turn back around.

"And all of those flowers better be gone the next time I leave my apartment, understand?" I yell at him and unlock my door. "I'm sorry, Elliot, but I need to be alone." I mutter get in with my dogs and slam the door shut. I sink to the floor and rest my head on my knees.

No wonder it is so difficult to get an appointment with John, Christian probably needs 90 percent of his time, if he is really trying to work on his issues. I really don't know what to do. It's like Christian has become one giant anxiety trigger for me. Either I end up throwing my guts out or I lose it and don't even realise what I am saying until it is out of my mouth.

The only thing I really know right now is that I need time to myself. If my parent's anniversary wasn't just two weeks away and I had a shitload of things to do until then, I would just pack my bags and leave Seattle for a while. But as it is, all I can do is to wait and see if Christian is going to respect my wishes and gives me some time to think this through. If not, I have no idea what is going to happen next...

_**Elliot's POV**_

I stare at my brother who is standing by the elevator like a beaten dog. Hell, Ana might be only 5'2, but after seeing her as angry as she was even I wouldn't want to be on her bad side. Still, I have no idea what happened last night, but I am sure a fuck not leaving until Christian tells me what is going on.

"Come on bro, let's take these flowers and get up to your penthouse." I mutter and grab four of the vases.

"Wait, maybe she wants them later" Christian says with hope in his voice.

"Christian, honestly? Haven't you listened to her at all? She wants you to leave her alone, if she leaves her apartment and sees those flowers, it is only going to piss her off even more. So, take the rest of those flowers and let's get to your place." Finally he nods grabs the two remaining vases and the flowers from the floor and we get into the elevator.

Once in his penthouse I follow him into his study and we sit down. "Has Ana told you about last night?"

"No, she wasn't exactly in a state to talk much last night"

"What, why? What was wrong with her?" He looks like he is sick with worry and I actually feel bad for him, but I am not going to go behind Ana's back by telling him about her panic attacks.

"Look bro, I can't tell you, but believe me. Ana has her own issues and your behavior in the last weeks hasn't helped her to get any better."

"But she is alone now, is it okay for her to be alone or does she need help?"

"Christian, if she needs help, she will call me. So, now tell me what happened last night?"

He gets up and pours himself a brandy. "Do you want one, too?"

"No thanks bro, and you shouldn't drink either, it's not even noon."

"Believe me, if you want me to recall my colossal fuck up from last night, I'm going to need this."

I shrug and he sits down again staring at the tumbler in his hands. "I had no idea that Ana had moved to Escala. So, when I saw her in the elevator yesterday and she told Ros that she lives here I got pissed. I had dinner with Ros, we talked about the company I want to buy and some other business and when she left I decided to talk to Ana. I mean, why the fuck did she have to move to Escala out of all places in Seattle?"

I snort. "Really bro? Let's see, first Ana is a young, single woman, so clearly she would want to choose a safe area and building when she buys her first apartment. Second, it is close to campus. Third it's one of the most modern buildings in Seattle..."

"Okay, okay, I get it. You are right, but yesterday it just fueled my anger, so I decided to confront her. I went to her floor, knocked and she let me in. I made some remark about her apartment and she told me you helped her with the move and everything. I ... I asked her if she is fucking you now, too."

Fuck, he did not just say that. I get up and start to pace the room. "Are you kidding me. What's next Christian, do you think I would fuck Mia, too or maybe even Anya?" I hiss and run both hands through my hair.

"No, christ, Elliot. Mia is our sister, that's completely different."

"Not to me it isn't, Christian. We grew up together, for me there is no difference between Mia, Ana and Anya. If anyone would ask me I would tell him I have three little sisters, because that's how I feel about Ana and Anya. Fuck, I would feel like pervert even thinking about having sex with Ana. Let me guess, she didn't take that question very well?"

He hangs his head. "No, she didn't. She was pretty mad at me and she ...fuck Elliot, she told me she is still a virgin and I did not believe her, instead I got mad, too. And then I lost it. I wanted her so bad for so long and I just grabbed her and kissed her. I thought she would push me away or even slap me again, instead she kissed me back. She wanted it as much as I wanted it and in that moment I thought ... I thought if she has fucked so many guys that I want her too and I got carried away. Before I could even think about it I had her on the kitchen floor, my dick pulled out of pants and ... fuck Elliot, she tried to tell me to go slow, but it was too late and the moment I entered her and realised that she really was a virgin ... I ... I went into shock. I realised how badly I had fucked up ... Ana had tears running down her face and when I looked into her eyes I could see that she could not believe I would do that to her, take her like this and I panicked, I didn't know what to do. So like the asshole I am I got up and just left her there. She wanted me to stay, but I couldn't all my instincts told me to run. I took me until I was up here and finally started to think about it I went back to her apartment, but she was already at your place."

I stare at my brother. No wonder Ana didn't want to tell me what happened. Fuck, for the first time in my life I want to beat the living shit out of my brother. But I can't, even to this day I still sometimes see him as the lost little boy my parents brought home all those years ago, and right now he looks just as lost as he did back then. Fuck it, I need to hit something or else I won't be able listen to him anymore. And so I punch the door and leave a hole in it.

"So and now do tell, what the fuck possessed you to take a girl you have known for all your life like a hooker, fuck I wouldn't even treat a hooker that way. Man, way to make a girl feel special and you really just left her on the floor? Jesus Christ, that is probably the biggest fuck up in the history of fuck ups, you really did it this time bro!"

"Don't you think I know that? Help me Elliot! How do I make Ana forgive me? I have no idea what to do and as you just saw the moment I open my fucking mouth I only make things worse."

I look at him and this time I smirk. "Well, first don't show up and buy her things she could use as a potential weapon against you. By the way you still have some petals in your hair."

He runs his hands through his hair and shakes his head. "Hell, I never thought that Ana could go off the deep end like that." he mutters more to himself than to me.

"Yeah, well I guess she never got insulted and treated like shit by you before. Damn, that's such a mess. You have some serious groveling to do before Ana is going to forgive you. Especially seeing that she had a crush..." fuck I shut my mouth immediately. Damn it, I did not want to tell him this.

"She had a crush? On whom?" Okay, whatever before he makes more stupid ass assumptions I might as well tell him.

"On you, you idiot. How could you not notice that Ana had it bad for you for years. I noticed it years ago, actually that girl had a crush on you before she even knew what having a crush on someone even meant."

"No, you must be wrong."

"Nope, I am not. Ask Mia if you don't believe me. Girls talk and all, but anyway. You must have noticed that you were always Ana's favorite person in the world. Don't you remember how she learned to walk?"

He frowns and shakes his head. "Well, that let me tell you. Carla stopped by with Cooper and Ana. You, Cooper and I were playing with toy cars and Mia and Ana were sitting on a blanket. Mom and Carla asked me to watch Ana and Mia for moment as they wanted to get a snack and something to drink for us. So, I sat down with them and while Mia was playing with some ball with a bell in it Ana was staring at you trying to get your attention, but you didn't even look at her. She pulled herself up using a chair next to the blanket and with a look of utter determination she started to wabble towards you, plopped down next to you and started to clap her hands happy as shit that she managed to get closer to you. And from that moment on, she was your little shadow and don't tell me you forgot that as a kid Ana would always follow you around. That girl adored you from day one, that's why she holds such a grudge when ever you hurt her."

"Like the time she didn't speak to me for months after I lied to her about my drinking habit as a teenager." he mutters deep in thoughts.

"Yep, like that. And this time you did not just lie to her. You insulted her at any given chance and yesterday, well fuck bro, you better come up with a really good plan to pull yourself out of that mess."

Now he gets up and starts to pace "Don't you think I know that, but how am I supposed to make it up to her if she doesn't want to see me?"

"You need to give her some time, let her calm down, Christian. Wait like four or five days, then send her a text. If she replies that's a good sign, if not take the hint and give her more time. And while you are waiting you are going to talk to Cooper. You turned him against her, now you know the truth so fix it."

"Okay, yes I can do that. What else?"

"Jesus bro? Have you ever dated before?" I ask him frustrated with his lack of empathy for women.

"You want to know the truth?" he asks and I nod. But what he starts to tell me over the following hour is not what I had expected. That fucking old hag Elena Lincoln seduced him to become her sex slave and after six years of getting whipped, caned, humiliated and fucked by her he moved on to become a Dominant himself. All the while Elena had her claws in him and manipulated him. Christ, she fed him lies with a spoon and like a good little slave he swallowed them all. I have no idea what to do or say. Damn it, I want to seriously hurt Elena Lincoln and at the same time I want to kick myself. Had I told my parents that she came on to when I was 14 maybe none of this would have happened to my brother. And to top it all, he is in love with Ana and right now she doesn't even want to look at him. In this moment I know my brother needs my help. He has no idea how to deal with this situation and will probably fuck it up for good with Ana if I don't try to get him on the right way.

"Okay, fuck me, I have no idea how, but I am going to help you fix this. Grab a notepad and a pen!"

"What?"

"You are going to write down what I am going to tell you." I tell him and he rolls his eyes but grabs a notepad and a pen.

"Good, first do not, and I mean under any circumstances contact Elena Lincoln, you don't meet with her, call her, take her calls or have any contact with her at all. If you see her walking down the street, you go into the other direction, understand?"

"I'm not planning on ever seeing her again. She lied to me, she is a criminal and a pedophile, I'm done with her!" he tries to defend himself.

"Ever heard of something called the Stockholm Syndrome? Just avoid her, so she can't suck you in with her lies again." I stare at him until he writes it down and I continue.

"Second, visit Cooper and tell him that you were wrong, do not tell him what you did yesterday or else you might end up losing all your teeth, he doesn't need to know everything, just the important part and that is you were wrong and you both should be ashamed of yourselves for treating Ana like that."

"Okay, when comes the part where I can see Ana?"

"Wait for it, third you will not try to contact Ana for the next couple of days. Give her time, if you do so she will calm down and you are showing her that you are willing to respect her wishes."

"I'm not sure about that Elliot, what if she thinks I just don't care?"

"She won't, that is why I told you to send a text after a couple of days to test the waters. Also, sit down and write a letter for her. You will probably fuck it up with your temper if you talk to her in person. Write her a letter, not on your computer, but in handwriting, women like that. Explain what happened and apologize, you can not apologize enough, got it?"

"Good, what else?"

"That kinky room you talked about, show me."

"Why?"

"Well, since you still have that room, I assume at one point you want Ana in there, I want to make sure there is nothing in there that makes her run for the hills."

He looks not happy at all, but I'm not backing down on this. I'm not wasting my time trying to get them together if he fucks it up again the moment he shows her his kinky ass fuck room. Finally he leads me up the stairs and unlocks a door. I walk in and look around. Most of the things aren't that bad, but then I see all those whips and canes and shit.

"Okay bro, those belts and whips and canes, they have to go."

"I wouldn't use them on Ana anyway" he tries to defend himself.

"Well, then why keep them? Believe me they do not make this room look cozy or anything, get rid of that shit or Ana will probably run for the hills."

"Fine, I'll remove them. What about the rest?"

"I don't know, you have to figure out what Ana likes, show her the room and wait for her reaction, but for pity sake do not just use something on her without asking her first. If you want to have any chance to have a relationship with Ana you need to see her as your equal. Ask for opinion and if she says no, it's no and not okay I'm trying to convince her later. You have to earn her trust again, so don't do something that makes her think you don't respect her wishes and opinion. And bro, I am going to be very clear about this, if those canes and shit don't go and I ever find out you used them on Ana, you will have to deal with me. Just think about how you would feel if Mia would meet someone who wanted to use that shit on her." Hearing me say that he actually cringes, but I have to make that clear, hitting a girl with that shit, even if she wants it, is wrong. I know that is just my opinion, but I was raised to protect and respect women and I wouldn't hit a women no matter what.

After getting back into his study I give him some more advise on how to get Ana to forgive him and after we had lunch together I leave while Christian drives over to Cooper's to talk to him. Hell, I really hope Ana and Christian can somehow overcome this mess and be happy together. They deserve it, so I will try my best to help them get there...

_**I have to update FSOHT first, so I probably won't be able to update until Thursday... **_


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry, a little later than promised...**

_**Ana**_

The next day I wake at 8 in the morning. It's sunday and I don't have any plans for today, so that will give me enough time to think about Christian and what to do with him. I want to believe that he is sorry, but at the moment I'm just having a hard time to find any compassion for him. I hope he gives me some time, though knowing Christian, I know that patience is not exactly one of his strengths.

I decide to let it go for the morning and instead I get ready to take my dogs out and I'm just about to leave my apartment when my landline rings.

"Ana Steele"

"Miss Steele, this is Sam from the front desk. I have a Mister Cooper Steele here who wants to see you, do you want me to let him up?" Great, so instead of dealing with Christian, I have to deal with my brother now.

"No, I was about to leave anyway. Please tell him I will be in the lobby in two minutes. Thank you Sam."

"Of course, Miss Steele, have a good day."

"You, too" I mutter and hang up.

Two minutes later I get out of the elevator and see Cooper standing by the front desk with a huge flower bouquet. What is it with men, that the think buying someone flowers will give them any credit points? And as my brother he should know that I don't like cut flowers, after a couple of days they end up in the trash, doesn't that say anything about how much flowers are worth as a form of apology? After a couple of days they are nothing but garbage, if he wanted to give me something why not buy a potted plant, at least they last much longer.

"Hey Ana, I ... um... Christian called me and ..." _oh fuck me, so he didn't even come to his senses alone?  
_  
"Cooper, I am not in the mood to deal with you right now, please leave me alone."

"Ana, please I am your brother?" _Urgh! He really wants to go there?_

"Cooper, honestly, you didn't seem to give too much about the fact that I am your sister when you decided to believe Christian and not me." I snap and he sighs.

"Look he had pictures and..."

"And nothing, if I would hear something about you and see some pictures and you would tell me it's not like it seems, I would believe you. That is what I expected from you, instead you decided to believe Christian who treated me like shit ever since I came back from Europe."

"I am sorry Ana, I really am sorry. But can't you understand me at least a little bit? I am your brother and hearing that you are sleeping around isn't exactly something that makes me happy."

"Cooper, honestly? Maybe it is time for you to over think your own behavior before you judge anyone, because I know that Elliot and you are the biggest man whores in Seattle, but I never judged you about that. Do you even know how many women you've slept with?" I know I am getting all defensive now, but he pisses me off.

"That's different Ana ..." I hold my hands up to stop him, I really can't listen to that crap anymore.

"You know what Cooper, I'm not going to listen to your shit, if that is what you understand as an apology than I am not accepting it and now I have to take my dogs out." I try to walk past him, but he grabs my arms and holds me back.

"Wait, please Ana. You know I hate it when you are mad at me. I was wrong, I know that just tell me what I have to do for you to forgive me." he says but I can't answer. He is holding my arm so I can't leave and I can't even step back because right behind me is the wall. _Oh no ... not now ... please not now ... he can't witness me having a panic attack.  
_  
"Jesus, Ana what is wrong?" Cooper's voice sounds worried, but I feel my stomach churn and when he grabs my shoulders to get my attention he makes it even worse and I throw up all over his shirt.

"Fuck! Damn it ... someone call an ambulance" Cooper yells as I sink to the floor and rest my head on my knees somehow trying to get my breathing under control.

"Ana please, say something what is going on?" he begs, but I can't tell him the truth.

"Stomach bug, sorry" I lie as my breathing calms slowly and I hope he buys my lie.

"Okay, do you want to get checked in the hospital?"

"No, I need some fresh air. Sorry about your shirt."

"Yeah, well I guess I am going up to Christian's and borrow something from him to wear. Do you want me to help you to your apartment first?"

"No, I need to walk my dogs. Just go, I'm fine." he scowls at me as I say this.

"I can't leave you like this!"

"Yes, you can. I am fine. I just walk around the corner with them so they can do their business, I send you a text once I am back in my apartment, okay?"

From the look on his face I know he won't let me go. "Look, just give me the dogs, I take them with me up to Christian's, change then take them out and bring them back to your apartment. Please, you look like shit, just go to your apartment and rest for a while."

I sigh. "Okay, you won" I mutter and he helps me to my feet, I hand him the leashes and we get into the elevator.

"How long do you want me to walk your dogs?"

"Depends on how long they need to find a spot where they want to poop, oh here" I hand him the small bags and he frowns.

"What are they for?"

"You have to pick their poop up and put it in a trash can." I have to giggle when his face scrunches up.

"Just do it, and make sure they don't try to eat something that's lying on the ground and don't take the leashes off, I don't know if they will listen to you." I tell him as the elevator stops at my floor.

"Got it, now go get some rest."

In my apartment I head straight into the bathroom and brush my teeth, before I get back into my livingroom and rest on the sofa for a while. Thank god my brother believed my lie. I already decided to tell my family about my panic attacks, but not now and I want to tell my parents first, after their anniversary.

30 minutes later there is a knock at my door and I let Cooper with my dogs and he is carrying a shopping bag.

"Christian wanted me to give you this. He had Gail put some things for you together, you know for your stomach bug." he says and unpacks the bag.

"It's some herbal tea, crackers, ginger ale and chicken soup. The soup is frozen, but Gail told me you can just heat it in the microwave. He also asked me to tell you that if you need anything and you don't want to call him, you can call Gail and she will come here and help you and he wants you to send Gail a text this evening so he knows you are okay. Better do it, he is freaked out, I guess by now he has called Grace to check on you."

"Okay, well ... thanks for taking my dogs out for a walk. I would like to be alone now."

"Sure. So, are we good again?" he asks and I snort. "No, we are not good again. Do you have any idea how much you have hurt me by not believing me ... I'm not sure if I can forgive you anytime soon. So, please leave me alone. I'll let you know when I'm ready for us to talk this out, but it's not now."

Now he sighs. "You know Ana, the one thing that I really hate about you is that you can't just accept an apology. You always hold a grudge if someone fucks up, as if one tried to kill you. Why do you have to do this?" he snaps. Yep, I can hold a grudge and my brother has a short temper this is not a good mix.

"You want to know why? It's because I love my family and friends more than life itself and that is why I am hurt and angry when the people I love the most doubt me, betray me or hurt me. And before we really start to argue now I want you to leave!"

"Fine have it your way, but I hope one day you grow up and don't act like sulky child anymore" he hisses and I can almost see the steam coming out of his ears as he turns around and leaves my apartment, slamming the door shut with a loud thud.

_Yeah right, I'm the one who has to grow up, my ass!  
_  
_**6 days later - still Ana**_

If the last six days have taught me anything, than it is that I need to come clean about my panic attacks sooner rather than later. Even though I didn't have another one after throwing up on Cooper, I hate that I had to lie to him and because he told Christian I had to lie even more. Christian must have been really worried, because first he had asked Grace to check on me and for the next three days he had Gail bring food to my apartment and take my dogs out for me. I told her she didn't have to do that, but she insisted and told me I needed to rest for a while, so I could be sure my stomach bug is really over.

And of course it made me think a lot about Christian. I'm not sure if he did this because he feels guilty about the way he treated me or if he really cares about me. 6 months ago I would have said he just wants to make sure I am fine, now ... I don't know. On Thursday he send me a text, asking me if I wanted to have lunch with him, but I just send a simple _'No'_ back. Maybe if I give it a little more time I will be able to talk to him without wanting to slap him.

Mia and Kate asked me to go clubbing with them tonight, but I don't feel like clubbing. I'd rather spend a relaxed evening at home and I found a recipe I want to try this evening, so I decide to go shopping at Pike Place Market in the morning. Because it is not raining and I could use a little exercise, I decide to take my bike instead of my car to get to the Market. I love my bike, it has this vintage look, is soft pink and has a wicker basket in the front, where I can put my groceries in. Besides, today my bike even matches my outfit as I am wearing a cardigan in the same color.

On the market I buy the shrimps and sausages I need as well as some other things and I am just about to leave the Market when I hear someone call my name. I turn around and see that it is Gail.

"Hi Gail" I smile at her and we hug briefly.

"Hello Ana. You look good, do you feel better now?" She asks and I want to cringe, oh man, now I have to lie again.

"Yes, a lot. Thanks again for looking after me and taking my dogs out."

"You don't have to thank me. I ... I know this is not my place to say, but Ana even though I don't know what happened between you and Mister Grey, he is really sorry. I have never seen him like this. He is beside himself staring at his phone all day and looking like a beaten dog every time he gets a call or text and it is not you. You were always friends Ana, maybe you could give him a chance?"

Great, I know Gail feels like a mother when it comes to Christian, but I really don't want to talk to her about this.

"Look Gail, a lot has happened between Christian and I. It's not that easy, I will talk to him, just not now. I need some time to figure out what to do."

She nods, but it's clear that she is not happy with my answer. "Of course, Ana. Take your time. Well, I have to go now, do you want me to give you a ride back to Escala?"

"No, I have my bike and the weather is nice, so I'll be fine. Bye Gail."

An hour later I am back at Escala, take a shower, change into a white maxi dress with an open back and because I feel like styling my hair instead of just putting it into a bun, I use my curling iron to create big curls.

A little later Elliot stops by. "Hey Ana. I wanted to ask if I could have your dogs until tomorrow" he says as we sit down in my livingroom.

"Why?" I ask a little confused.

"Tom, one of the guys who work for me told me about the _**Magnuson Dog Park**_ here in Seattle and he swears that there are lots of hot chicks with dogs, so I thought I check it out." he grins and I laugh.

"So you want to use my dogs to get laid?"

He gives me a big boyish grin."Why not?"

"Fine, what ever you can have them until tomorrow, but if you lose Angel or Ace because you are distracted by some chick I will never talk to you again, those two are my babies!" I warn him and I am not kidding, I would go crazy if something would happen to my dogs.

"Hey, you can trust me. So, I've heard you haven't talked to Christian so far?"

"No, I'm just not ready. Is Cooper still sulking?"

"Yep, man he really pisses me off lately, he is stubborn as shit and everyone else is wrong besides him."

"Tell me about it" I mutter and roll my eyes. If it is up to me, Cooper can stew until hell freezes over. I know we will start to talk again eventually, but for now I don't want to see him, not after the way he left here last sunday.

"About Christian again, I don't want to get in the middle of this and I seriously hate how he treated you, but maybe just try to listen to him ... you'll never know, maybe you understand him better after you do."

"Maybe ... I'll go and get you what Ace and Angel will need." I say quickly and pack their bowls, food, leashes and some toys and treats into a bag.

After Elliot has left my vocal coach stops by for my daily lesson and around five I go into the kitchen to start dinner. I've decide to try a recipe for Cajun shrimps and sausage with pasta. I've found a good white wine to go with the meal and I hope my meal is going to be as delicious as it looks in the picture in the magazine where I found the recipe.

I've just finished to chop everything I need for the meal when someone knocks at my door. I open and gasp.

"Mom, what is wrong?" I ask and she hugs me and starts to sob. "Oh my goodness Ana, you won't believe what just happened"

"Is Dad okay, is it Anya or Cooper?"

"No, it's Elena." she says and I lead her into the livingroom and we sit down.

"What happened with Elena, Mom?"

"You know your Dad is away on business until Tuesday, so Elena and I wanted to have a night out. We met in the city and went shopping first, then there was some issue at the Esclava salon around the corner from here. So, we went there and I stayed in the waiting area and had a glass of champagne. And then it happened... my god Ana, it was terrible." my mom stops to blow her nose and shakes her head sadly.

"The police came in, they asked for Elena and she ran. Can you believe it Ana? She left through the back entrance and ran from the police. I was shocked, I mean why would she do this? I asked them why they wanted to talk to her, but of course they wouldn't tell me. But Ana, I've heard them talk. They where talking about human trafficking, sexual abuse of a minor and money laundering." My mom starts to cry again and I hold her in my arms.

"I can't believe this Ana, she was one of my dearest friends and now she is most likely a criminal and worse a pedophile. Oh lord and I allowed her into my home and to be around my kids. Darling, has she ever tried something with you or your siblings?"

I look at my mom and I can't lie. I won't tell her about Christian, this is not my story to tell, but she has to see Elena for whom she really is. 

"Not with me, I don't think young girls are her thing, but I overheard a couple of years ago that she tried to hit on Cooper when he was a teenager. He told her off and I decided not tell, you know boys talk and sometimes they make up stories about their mom's hot older friend ..."

I stop as my mom gets up and starts to pace. "Oh, this miserable whore! She better hope that the police finds her before I do. How dare she come into my home and try to seduce one of my children."

"Mom, please calm down. Come sit, why don't you stay here tonight. Dad is not home anyway, we can call Anya to come here, too and have a girls night. Let the police deal with Elena, she will get what she deserves."

"You wouldn't mind if I stay here tonight? I would love to stay, being alone at home without your father isn't something I like anyway, but I don't want to be alone tonight."

"You can stay until Tuesday if you like." I offer and she hugs me. "Thank you sweetheart, I'm going to call Anya, I don't want her to be alone at home. Imagine Elena shows up" My mother shudders at the thought, takes her phone out and dials Anya's cellphone.

"Oh, this girl will be the death of me" My mom mutters after she has tried to call Anya's cell and the landline several times and Anya never answered the call.

While my mother tries it again, I start to worry. Anya always answers her phone, I can't even remember one time where she did not answer a call. This is just not like her and my mind starts to race.

What if Elena went off the deep end, she must know that it was me who set everything into motion. Hell, I've threatened her that day when she tried to drown me in the pool at my parent's house. What if she wants to get revenge by hurting someone I love like my baby sister?

I know Elena is most likely trying to get the hell away from Seattle, but what if not? Shit, after my mom tried ten more times I've had enough. I grab my phone and call the one person I know who can help me finding my sister quicker than anyone else.

He picks up after the first ring. "Ana, hi, I'm so glad you called me. Do you want to talk? I could come to your place right now or you can come up here and we can have dinner..."

"Christian, stop, please. I'm not calling because I want to talk. I ... I need your help."

"What do you need?"

"Look, my mom is here and she is completely beside herself, the police tried to arrest Elena while they were at the Esclava around the corner from here, but she escaped and is on the run now. So, my mom came here because my Dad is away on business and we can't get a hold of Anya. She is supposed to be at home, but she doesn't answer her phone or the landline. I'm worried, this is not like her. I know your security can do just about anything, so do you think they can track her down and get her here?"

"Yes, of course, wait a moment" he says and I hear him talk to someone, Taylor most likely and then he is back on the phone.

"Taylor is trying to track her cell phone and will bring her here. Is there anything else I can do to help you?" As he says that I look at my mom and she is about to completely freak out.

"Yes, actually I think my mom needs a drink and I only have wine or beer. Do you have something stronger, like whisky for her?"

"Sure, umm do you want me to send Gail down to you or can I come?" he sounds so hopeful and I know seeing another familiar face will help my mom keep it together.

"Okay, you can come here, but please I don't want to talk about what happened now."

"I won't, I promise. I'll be there in a minute." he hangs up and I go back to my mom.

"Christian has asked his security to find Anya. He will be here in a moment with a drink for you."

"Oh, thank god. I know it is probably nothing, but I'm beside myself Ana. How could I not notice what Elena is doing?"

"Mom, please Elena is a good actress, that is why you never noticed anything. Please sit, you pacing around here won't make anything better" I say just as I hear a knock at the door.

"That's Christian, I'll be back in a second." I walk to the door open and let Christian in.

"Ana I ... I wrote this for you. Read it when ever you want." he says and hands me an envelope.

"Okay, well ... umm my mom is in the livingroom, I get a tumbler for the whisky, do you want anything?"

"A water." I nod show him to the livingroom and get a tumbler for my mom and a glass of water for Christian, while I take a bottle of beer for myself. I need a drink to calm me down, but if I have a whisky, too I will probably be drunk after a few sips, so a beer is a safer choice for me.

When I come to the sofa where they are sitting I notice that the TV is on and they are both staring at the screen. Holy fuck, Elena has made the news. There is a TV station who is reporting that Elena is on the run. As I listen to what the news anchor is saying I feel sick. She is accused of sexual abuse of minors with seven different minors and she is linked to some missing person cases, they think she helped to kidnap young girls to sell them to human traffickers.

"Oh my goodness." My mother murmurs and I pour her a drink and hand it to her.

"Thank you, honey. Christian, have you heard anything from your security?"

"Yes, they tracked Anya's phone down, she is still in Bellevue but not at home. I told Taylor to bring her here immediately."

"Thank you, Christian you are such a sweetheart" my mom says and takes a sip of the whisky making her shudder.

"I can get you something else, Carla." Christian offers.

"No, it's fine. Exactly what I need right now to calm my nerves." she says and looks over to where I sit. "Oh, Ana darling, don't drink that beer out of the bottle, that is very unattractive, go get yourself a glass."

I shake my head amused when I get up to get myself a glass. I am twenty-two, have my own apartment, but still when my mom uses that particular tone I jump up and do what ever she tells me to do. When I return with the glass I see that Christian is smirking and my mom sees it, too.

"Don't smirk at her like that young man, she got this nasty habit from watching her brother, Elliot and you drinking beer straight from the bottle." my mom scolds him and I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing.

"I guess that's right." he pouts, Christian does not like to be scolded, but he would never argue with my mother, just as I would never argue with Grace.

"Excuse me" Christian says as his phone rings and walks over to the kitchen to take the call.

"Do you see Christian often?" my mom asks.

"No, you know him, he is working so much he barely has any time."

"Ask him to stay for dinner, will you? I haven't seen him in a while and I really need some company to take my mind off Elena."

Again my moms tone makes it pretty obvious that I have no other choice. "Well, I better start cooking than" I mutter and get back into the kitchen. Christian is still on the phone, so I ignore him and start to cook.

"My mom wants you to have dinner with us" I tell him as he ends the call.

"I could come up with an excuse." he offers and I have to snort. He looks almost giddy with joy, because he knows as well as I do that my mom won't take no for an answer, so he can stay here for the rest of the evening.

"By all means, go and try to tell her that you won't stay for dinner."

"Ana, I can leave if that is what you want. I don't want to make things worse, so tell me what you want?"

"Just keep my mom company while I am cooking, I hope you like spicy food. Have you heard anything from Taylor?"

"No, so far nothing. My dad called me though."

"About Elena?"

"Yes, the police is looking for her and her accounts are frozen, so she probably does not have the means to leave the country. There is no more evidence that I was in any form of relationship with her other than the fact that I am a silent partner in her business. I know I'm in no position to ask you for anything Ana, but please don't say anything to my mother. Grace doesn't need to know. This is going to be hard on her as it is, I don't want her to blame herself for not noticing what was going on."

I lean against the kitchen counter and look at him. "Look Christian, I didn't tell Carrick because I wanted to out you. I was worried, because something about Elena really freaked me out. Believe it or not I was trying to help you. Telling Grace wouldn't help you or her for that matter. I love Grace, she is like a second mother to me, so I am not going to tell her anything, if you want to come clean that is your choice, but I did what I had to do, so for me this topic is dealt with."

"Thank you..." he says but is interrupted by my mom who is calling out for us to come into the livingroom.

"Mom, what is wrong?" I ask and she points to the TV. On the screen they are showing Elena's home and the police leading someone out of the house who is covered in a blanket, so all you can see are the persons bare feet, but just from looking at the size of the person it is clear that this is not a grown up.

"This is the second person they have led out of the house like this. My god, those kids can't be older than 14" my mom gasps and refills her tumbler. We all stare in horror at the screen as there are 4 kids or teenager in total being led out of the house. The news reporter also states that the police classified Elena as dangerous and that she could be armed, so if anyone was to see her they want the person to call the police and don't try to do something on their own.

"Taylor just send me a text. He has Anya in the car and they are here in 15 to 20 minutes. She went to the mall with some friends and was about to get her belly pierced." Christian says as he reads a text on his phone.

"What? Her belly pierced? Oh, that girl drives me insane, I told her no at least twenty times. Wait until I tell Ray, now she is grounded." My mom says completely exasperated. And I am not blaming her, Anya has a thing for piercings and so far she has each ear pierced four times and she secretly got her labial frenulum pierced, but my parents had her remove it the moment they saw it. If she keeps that up she will have more holes than a swiss cheese.

Now, I am actually glad that Christian is here, because he can calm my mother down, while I finish my cooking and I am just ready when I hear a knock at the door. I open and find Taylor with my sulking little sister.

"Thank you Taylor. Do you want to come in, Christian is staying for dinner."

"No, thank you Ana. I have a lot of work to do" he says and leaves.

"A belly piercing, really?" I ask my sister, but before she can answer my mom is there and Christian and I go back into the kitchen to give her them so privacy for the lecture I am sure Anya is getting right now.

"This looks very good" Christian says as I start to put the food on plates.

"It's Cajun shrimps and sausage with pasta. I found the recipe in a magazine and wanted to try it."

"Do you always cook such a huge amount of food for yourself?" he asks his tone of voice disapproving. Normally his tone alone would piss me off, but in this case it doesn't, because I know about his issues with wasted food and the fact that he almost starved as a young child locked in an apartment with his dead mother.

"Actually yes, I am not good at cooking just for one person. I usually use recipes for 4 persons. This way I can eat dinner one day, heat some of it up for lunch the next day and freeze the rest. And I know this might sound crazy, but to me food tastes better if you cook a larger amount of it." I shrug as I say this and nods appeased by my answer.

"I am going to put security on you and your family until Elena is found, Ana."

"Why?"

"Elena was very angry at you when she realised that you found out about us. Especially after the pool incident..."

"Where she tried to drown me first" I point out and he nods. "Yes, and if she feels like her back is against the wall, she will most likely try to get revenge. She is not stupid Ana, by now she has probably figured out that you talked to the police about her or did something to set this all into motion. I need to know that you are safe, so I will have someone watching you, I would appreciate it if you would cooperate with my security."

"What do you mean cooperate?" I ask, because if he wants me to have one of his security guys move in here until Elena is found, this is not going to happen.

"Elena can't get in here, so you are safe here, but you are not when ever you leave Escala, so it would be good if you could let them know your daily schedule, this way they just meet you in the garage or in the lobby and don't have to track your phone to follow you."

"Fine, I can do that. But I don't want someone breathing down my neck the entire time. And you better give me the phone number of the guy who is following me, because I don't always have a schedule and just go out if I feel like it."

As I am lying in my bed later that night, I actually feel a lot better. Even with all that happened, this day at least showed me that the Christian I have known for all my life is still there and has not disappeared completely while I was in Europe. I am still not ready to forgive him just yet, but at least I now think that it might be possible for me to forgive him. Maybe reading the letter he gave me will help, though it will have to wait until my Mom and Anya are back at home and I have some time to sit down alone and read it.

I am just about to fall asleep, when I hear Anya's voice who is sleeping in my bed with me while my mom is in the guest room.

"You know Ana, I always thought Christian is gay. Who would have thought that he has it bad for you, but he looked at you like a love-sick puppy all evening. Good night, love ya sis!"

"Love you, too" I mutter. Great how am I supposed to sleep when I have to think about the fact that Christian might be in love with me? It sounds completely preposterous, but maybe ... just maybe that is why he acted like a jealous dick all this time...

_**So Elena is on the run, Ana's brother turned out to be an arse and Ana slowly starts to entertain the thought that Christian might have feelings for her... next chapter will include Christian's letter ... if you have a minute, please leave a review :-)**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Ana**_

Today is Tuesday and Elena is still on the run. The police has no clue where she is and with every day that passes by I feel more anxious that she is plotting something. At least my Dad came back from his business trip early this morning and my Mom and Anya went back home. I love having them here, but this apartment is just not big enough for all of us. Especially when my mom is upset over something. When ever my mom is upset she starts to bake. By now I have enough cookies and cake for the next three years at my apartment. Since there is no way that I can eat all of it I insisted she would take half of it with her to Bellevue and I will call Gail so she can come to my apartment and take most of the rest to Christian's. Between him and the security they will eat all of it in less than a week.

Another reason why I am glad that I am alone again is that now I finally have the time to read Christian's letter. With my mom and Anya here the only alone time that I had was when I had to go to the bathroom or while I was taking a shower, so there was no time to read the letter. And now that I have the time I'm kind of apprehensive to read the letter. I'm just not sure what to expect and Anya wouldn't stop to go on and on about Christian having a crush on me. I mean, honestly? If he does, he sure has a funny way of showing it. _Come on, Ana. Just read that darn letter and get it over with. _That little voice in my head tells me and before I can find any excuse to wait longer, I open the envelope and take the letter out.

_Dear Ana,_

_I know what I did is unforgivable, but I have to try. Maybe by explaining to you what happened you will at least understand why I acted the way I did ever since you returned from Europe. Since you have already figured out that I was in a relationship with Elena, I am going to be honest about it. I entered a relationship with her when I was 15 and it ended shortly after I turned 21. Still, I saw Elena as my dearest friend until I had to realise that she is nothing but a liar, a criminal and she used me like a puppet. There is much more you need to know about my relationship with Elena, but I feel like it is not right to put it in writing, though I promise to tell you anything in person, should you decide that you want to talk to me._

_What is important is that for the longest time I saw her as the one persons who truly knows me and understands me. And that is where I was utterly wrong. I am not sure if you remember the weekend you've spent at Escala a couple of months before you went to Europe. But for me this weekend changed everything, Ana. I am sure you noticed that I tried to keep some distance between us ever since you turned into a teenager and later into the beautiful young woman you are today. I did this because even back then I felt drawn to you. But those feelings seemed so alien to me that I had no idea what they were or what to do about them. _

_And this weekend you stayed at Escala, it was one of the best times in my life. Whenever you are around I feel like I can be just me. Not the CEO, not the billionaire or what ever else persona people know of me. Around you I can be just Christian, you make it easy for me to relax and just enjoy the moment, which is very rare for me. It was this weekend when I realised that I am in love with you, I tried to deny it, tried to convince myself I don't need love and more so that I am not worthy to be with such a wonderful girl like you. But the simple truth is, I am a selfish man, Ana. And no matter how much I fought with myself, I still wanted to be with you. So, I decided to come clean, take the risk and confess my feelings for you. I came to your parent's home the day you left for Europe, but I was too late, you were already gone. I was in the middle of what was probably the most important deal in my career. Otherwise I would have flown to Europe to tell you how I feel about you, but I couldn't and that's where things went wrong. _

_Elena figured out that you were the girl I wanted to talk with and she told me terrible lies about you, lies I did not want to believe. It was the first time I told Elena I didn't believe what she is saying and she told me she could prove to me that you are involved with many men and have been since your early teenage years. The security detail I told you about was in reality a P.I. hired by Elena to follow you around. By now I am pretty sure that most of the pictures I have seen were photoshopped and I am truly ashamed of myself for falling for Elena's lies and the appalling way I have treated you. All I can say is that I was sick with jealousy and that I couldn't control my anger when I thought you are not the girl I thought you are. But that does not excuse what I did. Even though I don't like the idea of you being with another man, I have no right to judge you. I'm just now starting to realise that, actually I am the last person to judge anyone about their sex life, but that is something I would like to discuss with you in person._

_I could go on and on, trying to find excuses for my behavior, but the sad truth is that I was just wrong, I chose to trust the wrong person, when you never gave me a reason to doubt you. And what I regret the most is my reaction after I found out the truth. I should have stayed, should have given you comfort instead of leaving you the way I did. I was shocked, scared ... I don't even know myself why I left you there like that. All I can say about it is that I was never as ashamed about anything I did in my life as I am ashamed about leaving you that night.  
_

_I'm not asking for you forgiveness and I know I should let you find a man who is worthy of you, but like I said before, I am a selfish man, Ana and I want to be with you. I don't know if you have ever thought about me like that, and I am pretty sure that you are not having any romantic feelings for me after all that has happened in the last few weeks, but I would be honored if you would give me the chance to prove myself to you. For you I would try to be a better man, I would move heaven and earth to show you that I can be what you need. But that is not my choice to make. It's all up to you now, Ana. I am giving you my promise that I won't bother you anymore. If you decide that you want to talk to me, just give me a call. If not, then I have to live with it. I just hope that one day, if you don't have the same feelings for me that I have for you, we can be friends again. _

_No matter what you decide, I want you to know that I only now understand that I always had this one person I could trust blind in my life, the one person who always cared about me and was a true friend. It wasn't Elena, it was you Ana. I want to thank you for talking to my father. You saw Elena for what she truly is and you did what you had to do to protect me, even though I was behaving so poorly towards you. That means more to me than you will ever know. Thank you._

_I love you_

_Christian_

Oh my god, I have no idea what to think. He loves me ... but then again, how much can his love be worth if he believed Elena over me. Fuck, he was 15 when their affair started and it went on for 6 years. Only thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach. I mean, six years is such a long time and surely more than enough to brainwash a young boy and leave him with a serious case of Stockholm syndrome. But can I forgive him, because I feel pity for him? No, that's not right. If I give him a chance it has to be because I believe that we will have a future together.

I need some fresh air, maybe if I just take a walk for a while and think this through I can come up with an idea of what to do next. So, I send a text to Sawyer, the CPO of Christian who is following me around that I want to go out and we meet in the lobby.

"Do you want me to get the car, Miss Steele?"

"No, thank you, Sawyer. I just want to walk, I need some fresh air." I tell him and he nods.

We walk for a while and I try to come up with some sort of an idea of what to do. Maybe if we would try to be friends again first and then go from there... I can't finish the thought as all of a sudden all hell breaks loose. I hear the loud roar of an engine, Sawyer yelling at me; the next second he grabs me we are both flying through the air and land on the sidewalk with the car missing us by an inch. People around us are screaming and the car takes off.

"Miss, are you alright?" an old lady asks, I look next to me and Sawyer is not moving and I can see a puddle of blood building under his head.

"Oh my god, can you call 911" I ask feeling the panic rising inside me. _What if he is dead?  
_  
"Ma'am your friend is still breathing, please calm down" I hear the gentle voice of a man and look up.

"Everything is going to be okay, Ma'am. Just breathe with me" the man says and his gently voice and caring smile makes me slowly calm down. "That's right, no need to panic. Help will be here any minute. Are you in pain?" he asks and I frown. I'm a little dizzy and my butt hurts from the harsh landing on the sidewalk, but other than that I feel fine.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you."

"That's good. Do you want to call someone?" I nod and with shaking hands I get my phone from my purse and dial Christian, Sawyer works for him so he needs to know and he lives closes to where we are and I could use to see a familiar face.

"Ana?" I hear Christian's voice and just hearing his voice sets me off and I start to sob.

"Christian ... I ... there was an accident. I think Elena tried to run me over with a car ... and ... Sawyer he is unconscious... we are just around the corner from Escala, across the street from the bakery."

"Fuck, are you okay?"

"Yes, but Sawyer is not moving, he landed on his head and he is bleeding pretty bad."

"Okay, Taylor and I are on our way, have you called an ambulance for Sawyer?"

"No, a man did"

"Good, it's all going to be alright, Ana."

"No, it's not. This is my fault, Sawyer got injured because I decided to go out. He fell on his head because he was protecting me."

"That's his job, Ana and he knows the risks. Believe me, once he is awake the only thing he will be upset about is that he couldn't manage to catch Elena. We are leaving Escala now, I can already hear the sirens of the ambulance and police, they will be with you any second."

"Yes, they are here. I'm hanging up now" I say and end the call. While the paramedics are tending to Sawyer one of the police officers helps me to my feet.

"Could you see the driver of the car or have you seen the licence plate, Ma'am?"

"No, everything happened so fast. I heard the roar of the car engine, Sawyer yelled something and then he grabbed me and jumped out of the way with me in his arms. The car missed us only by a few inches and took off before I could see anything."

"Do you have enemies, Ma'am?"

"No, I have no idea who it was." I decide to lie as I have no idea what Carrick told the police and the last thing I want is to get him into trouble.

"Good, is he your boyfriend?"

"No, he is security. My parents are Raymond and Carla Steele. They were friends with Elena Lincoln and as long as she is on the run our entire family has security, just to make sure that Mrs. Lincoln gets caught if she decides to come anywhere near us to ask for help or money."

He nods and makes notes. "Ana!" I hear Christian and the next second I am in his arms. "Thank God, you are okay. Have the EMT's checked you?"

"No, but I'm fine."

"Excuse me, Sir. Who are you?" The officer asks Christian and he turns to look at him.

"Christian Grey. I am a friend of Miss Steele's and also the boss of Mr. Sawyer."

"I thought Mister Sawyer is Miss Steele's security."

"For now he is, I have a large security team and some of them are protecting the Steele family as long as Elena Lincoln is on the run. Mr. Steele only has security for his company and they are not trained in close person protection, so I offered him to help out as all members of my security team are very well trained."

"Good, well Mr. Sawyer clearly is worth his money, this could have ended ugly for Miss Steele."

"I agree, do you need Miss Steele here much longer, I want her to get checked at the hospital."

"No, I just need her contact details and I need her to come down to the station tomorrow."

I let Christian handle the rest and 10 minutes later I am in the backseat of one of his Audis with him and Taylor is driving us to the hospital.

"You haven't told the police about Elena?" he asks.

"No, I wasn't sure what your dad has told the police and the last thing I want is to get him into trouble."

"Are you in pain?"

"No, I'm fine just a little dizzy and my butt hurts from the fall, but it's nothing bad. Will Sawyer be okay?"

"I think so, we have to wait what the doctors at the hospital will say, but Ana from now on I will put four CPO's on you. Two will follow you directly and two more who will tail you from a short distance. This way the chances that Elena will get caught are a lot higher, but it would be good if you would only leave Escala if you really have to. If Elena is following you she will soon figure out your daily schedule which will make it a lot easier for her to get to you. I will also put extra security on our families, Elena is evil if she can't hurt you directly she will hurt you by hurting the people you love the most."

Hearing him say this I can't help the tears that start to run down my cheeks.

"Ana, please. I won't let that happen. Do you want me to call your parents. Maybe you can stay at Bellevue for a couple of days. I don't want you to be alone."

"No, please don't call them. I don't want to stay at my parents house. If Elena is going after me then I don't want to stay there where she can break in and harm them to get to me." he looks at me thoughtful for a moment and nods.

"Good, I understand that, but I really don't want you to be alone. Look, I know we are barely talking right now, but you could stay at my place. I could invite Elliot to stay at my place, too. This way you don't have to be alone with me. Think about it, please."

I stare out of the window thinking about his offer. I don't want to lead this problem to my parents, so going to Bellevue is not an option, but I know that I will probably freak out alone at my apartment tonight, thinking Elena is hiding somewhere ready to stab me in my sleep. I really hoped that she was just trying to leave the country, but obviously she is now after me to get revenge. Under any other circumstances I would have taken Christian up on his offer without thinking twice about it. But everything is so complicated now, plus I don't want to lead him on.

"If I stay at your place it doesn't mean we are friends again or anything, but yes if Elliot is staying at your place, too then I would like to stay at your place for a couple of days." I tell him and have to hide my smile when his face lights up.

At the hospital a doctor examines me, but other than a few scratches I am fine, so I can leave again. Sawyer on the other hand has to stay the night as he has a concussion and a huge laceration on the back of his head that needed ten stitches. But true to Christian's word he was only upset that he passed out and couldn't catch Elena or at least catch a glimpse of the driver of the car because even the windshield was heavily tinted.

Back at Escala I gather what I need for a couple of days, get my dogs and get up to Christian's penthouse.

"Elliot will be here shortly... umm your dogs are housebroken, right?"

"Yes, and they are very well behaved, don't worry. Though, if you don't want me to go out much I need to have someone walk them for me."

"Gail or one the security guys can take them out for you, if no one has time let them out on the balcony, as long as they don't take a piss or shit in my penthouse I don't mind having them there." he says and I nod. Once out of the elevator Gail nearly tackles me down as she pulls me in a hug.

"Oh Ana, are you alright?" she asks and I nod. "Yes, Sawyer saved my life."

"He sure did, I was so worried when Jason send me a text to let me know what happened. Is there anything I can do for you, Ana?"

"No, I am fine."

"Good."

"Gail, Ana and my brother will stay here for a couple of days, please make sure the guest rooms are ready, and I need you to take Ana's dogs out until Elena Lincoln is caught. The less Ana has to leave Escala the better."

"Of course, Sir." she says and leaves us in the vestibule. "Do you want to rest before dinner, Ana?"

"Yes, I could really use some rest."

Christian leads me to the guest room I am usually staying at when I am here and I flop down on the bed with my dogs cuddling up against me.

"They sleep with you in the bed?" Christian asks and his tone shows he is not liking the idea.

"Sure, the like to cuddle."

"I see, well ... I am going to wake you up once dinner is ready." he says and turns to leave the room, but stops and looks at me again.

"I saw the letter I wrote to you lying on the coffee table in your livingroom. Have you read it?"

"Yes, before I left to take a walk. Look, I agree that we need to talk, Christian, but not now. I am exhausted and I need to think about everything you said in that letter."

"You are right, take all the time you need. I just ... nevermind." he is almost out of the door when I call him back.

"Yes?"

"Since you came clean about your feelings for me, I want to do the same, but that doesn't mean that I can just forgive you, it's merely so you don't have to ask yourself all the time if I feel the same way or not." I tell him. Maybe this is a bad idea, but if he is really willing to change for me, what ever that means, he should at least know if there is any hope for him.

"One of the reasons why I never dated is that you never asked me on a date. There was never anyone else I was interested in and had I known how you feel about me before I left for Europe things could have been very different now. As it is now, I need time to really think this through, there are things about me you don't know and I can't just jump into a relationship when I am not sure where this is going to lead me. One of these days we need to sit down and really talk about everything. Can you give me time until I am ready?" I ask him and I can almost see the relief washing over him.

"Yes, I can give you time. And thank you for telling me. Now rest, you look like you need it" he says and leaves while I snuggle up under the covers with my dogs and close my eyes. I don't want to give him too much hope, but at the same time I don't want Christian to think that there is no chance in hell for us to be together. Maybe, with a lot of talking and work we can find a way to be together, even after all that has happened...


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm really sorry that it took me over a week to get this chapter done... the last couple of days have been crazy and I didn't get the chance to complete this chapter earlier... And for the guest who goes by the beautiful name of **_**Pissed Off**_**, calling me a 'fucking bitch' is not going to make me write any faster or even get me in the mood to write. I know that my updates are usually quicker, but I don't think that 11 days are that long that you have to call me out like that. Actually, and I know that might sound childish, but getting a message like that makes me want to complete the chapter and not post just so you have to wait even longer to read it... but that would be highly unfair to all my other readers who are waiting patiently for me to post again... so this chapter is not for you, but for all my other readers which are absolutely amazing :-)**

_**Ana**_

I have spent the last couple of days at Christian's penthouse and even with everyone trying to distract me from the fact that Elena is out there, probably trying to plot a way to kill me, I am about to go insane. After talking with Christian, Carrick and my Dad, we decided to let the police know that I suspect it was Elena who tried to run me over with the car.

Carrick had only told them he heard rumors and started to investigate, but now they know it was me who told him that Elena might be a pedophile and Christian's security is working with the police to make sure Elena can't come anywhere near me, my family or the Grey's. When I was asked why I didn't go to the police right away I just told them that I didn't want to ruin the reputation of a family friend if it had turned out that Elena was innocent. They understood that and now all we can do is hope that Elena is found soon.

One of the witnesses who saw Sawyer and I nearly getting run over by the car told the police he saw a blonde woman driving the car, so we are convinced it was Elena. My dad was pretty pissed that I didn't tell him immediately and at first he wanted me to move back home, but Christian and Elliot convinced him that I am much safer at Escala. My parents home is huge and the property surrounding it even bigger, plus the fact that it is at the waterfront it would have been a nightmare for Christian's security to keep me safe there.

My parents thought about cancelling the party for their anniversary, but I convinced them not to do that. We will have the police and Christian's security watching the property, so there is no way Elena can get there. Or at least I hope she doesn't find a way. I just want her behind bars and out of our life. And I know this is a terrible thing to think, but I wouldn't even mind if she would manage to get herself killed on the run. This woman is pure evil and I don't think that there is one single person who would lose sleep if she would die.

Because I can't leave the penthouse, mostly due to the fact that I don't want to put the security or myself at any unnecessary risk, I am really glad that Elliot is here too. He always finds ways to make the evenings entertaining for all of us. Christian was a little annoyed, but I guess just to spend time with me he even sat down with us and played some games like Clue or Monopoly. In the time they are at work I try to help Gail around the apartment and because she is walking my dogs every day I convinced her to let me cook dinner. This way I can try new recipes and I have something to do before Elliot and Christian arrive back from work.

Christian and I are ... well I really don't know. We are talking, but it's like we reached a silent agreement, that we are not going to discuss us or anything that could cause us to fight as long as I am staying at his place. Otherwise his apartment might end up as a battlefield with two hotheads like us.

"Miss Steele, if you are ready we can leave now" I look up at Ryan who just entered the great room and nod.

"I'm ready." today is my parents anniversary and I am going to my parent's home earlier to meet up with the party planner and check if everything is going well. Elliot and Christian will arrive shortly before the party starts, while most of the security is already there security the property with the police officers who will also be there all night.

I follow Ryan into the vestibule, but Christian stops us. "Five minutes, Ryan. Can we talk in my study, Ana?" he asks and so I follow him into his study.

"Look, before I give you what I have bought for you, I want you to know that this is not me trying to buy your forgiveness, it's just something I thought you might like. I overheard that because of the situation you couldn't go shopping to find the right jewelry to match your dress... so here" he hands me a small box and when I open it I see a beautiful white gold necklace and matching earrings with purple diamonds that are shaped like small heart. I love it and it matches my dress.

"I was told that purple goes well with gray, Mia told me the color of your dress. If you don't like it I can get something else."

"No, it's perfect. I love it. It's just you know I don't like expensive gifts."

"Well, in that case we could say it is on loan, indefinetely."he smirks and I have to laugh.

"Okay, agreed. Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Ana. So, I'll see you at your parent's home. Are you ready for the big surprise?" he asks and I sigh.

"Not sure, the only other time I was supposed to do something in front of others I ended up projectile vomiting on my principal... so I guess it can't get worse. If I don't feel like doing it I still have the painting I bought in Europe as a back up plan."

"Have you ever played in front of anyone besides your teachers?"

"No, I never felt I was good enough. Crap, what if I'm going to embarrass myself and my parents?" _Great now I'm getting nervous. _

"Come" he holds his hand out for me and when I take it he leads me into the great room to his piano. "Play for me, I will give you my honest opinion. If you are not good enough I will tell you." I look at him and he seems to be really sincere. I can do this, it's like a rehearsal, I tell myself and sit down at the piano.

I take a deep breath and start to play _**Your Song by Elton John**_, which is the song my parents had their first dance to at their wedding and once I have played it I change to _**Still The One by Shania Twain **_which is one of their favorites songs. When I'm done I look up at Christian and he is staring at me as if he is seeing me for the first time.

"So, what do you think?" I ask and he blinks at me.

"You have a beautiful voice and I can't believe how well you are playing, especially for someone who has only taken lessons for a couple of months. Your parents are going to be delighted." he says and I am just about to answer when Taylor enters the great room.

"Sir, we need to change the plans. A person who looked very much like Mrs. Lincoln was seen near the Steele's home. I would recommend that Miss Steele stays here until we leave for the event later tonight."

"Yes, good and add more security for tonight, I want the place as safe as possible for tonight. If there is any fuck up tonight heads will be rolling." Christian hisses.

"Christian, my dress and everything I need to change is already at my parents home." I tell him and he frowns and takes his phone out.

"Mia, hi it's me. Look Elena was seen in Bellevue, I won't let Ana go over there until the party starts, but her dress and stuff is already at her parent's home. How would you feel to come over here with Kate and Anya, I get some beauty technicians over here and the four of you get all glammed up for tonight." he says and laugh when he has to hold the phone away from his ear because Mia is squealing so loud.

"I take that as a yes, be ready in an hour, I will send Ryan over to get you, call Kate and tell her she can stop by when ever she wants and call Anya, too. I am going to call Ray now." he hangs up and I listen while he is talking to my dad.

"He wants to talk to you, Ana" he says after a while and hands me the phone.

"Hi daddy. I'm sorry I am making this such a disaster."

"Annie, it's not you, it's that criminal who does that. Listen to me sweetheart, you don't have to come if you would feel safer staying at Christian's."

"No, I want to come. I have a big surprise planned, you know. I can't just stay here. And I don't think that Elena is stupid enough to try anything tonight and if she does Christian's security or the police will catch her, so all will be fine." I tell him, though actually I am a little scared now, but I don't want to show it.

"Good, your sister will be with you shortly, I am looking forward to seeing you tonight baby girl, safe a dance for me."

"You know I always safe the first dance for you" I say.

"Good, hand the phone back to Christian, darling."

"Sure, bye dad, see you later." I hand the phone back to Christian and he walks into his study while I stare out of the window.

"Ana?"

I turn around when I hear Christian and smile at him. "You don't have anything to worry about Ana. We have my team which will monitor the front gate and the street. There are cops who will be watching inside the house and the water front and some of my security guys from Grey House will come dressed up as guests, so nothing can happen. I just don't want you at your parent's house before the security is in place."

"Thank you ... you know what I am constantly thinking about?"

"No, what?"

"Why is she so hell bound on getting her revenge. If the police would be after me I would find a way to get the hell out of the country and not try to get back at the person who went to the cops."

"Elena is all about money and what others think of her. What she doesn't understand is that it was herself and all of her wrong doings that led her to this. She is quick to blame someone else, that is why she wants revenge. I am so sorry, Ana. This is my fault." he says and that makes me mad.

"How is this your fault, Christian? You were 15 when she lured you into a relationship, you weren't even old enough to fully understand what was going on and by the time you were, she had her claws so deep into you that you believed everything she told you. It's not your fault or would you tell a rape victim it's their one fault because the person was in the wrong place at the wrong time?"

"It's not the same, Ana. I wanted it."

"Christian, you were 15 and even though most kids think they are adults and know what they are doing, that is just not the case. I know you don't want to hear this, but you are one of her victims, just like those other kids the police rescued from Elena's house. You were just lucky that you came from a well-known family or else things could have turned out much worse for you."

He looks deep in thoughts for a couple of seconds and then I can see him shutting down. "I have to make some phone calls. Let's not talk about this now." he mutters and leaves. I watch him leave the great room and shake my head sadly. I know that deep down he knows I am right, but he doesn't want to say it out loud, so instead he is going to hole himself up in his study until it is time to leave. For a moment I think about just letting him sulk in his study, but then I decide this is not the right way.

So, I make my way to his study knock and get in, finding him staring out of the window.

"Christian?"

"Not now, Ana." he says his voice icy cold and I giggle. He turns around and looks at me puzzled.

"You think this is funny?" he snaps and I bite my lip to stop my giggling.

"Not what we were talking about, but the fact that you think you could scare me by using your CEO tone with me. I know you are used to make even feared business men shake in their boots when you use that tone of voice or glare at them, but honestly it doesn't work with me and you should know that."

He smirks as he comes closer and leans against his desk. "So, you are not even slightly intimidated by me?"

"No, I've known you for all my life, there is nothing intimidating about you, you are like a big, sometimes a little grumpy looking, teddy bear." I say and burst out laughing when his mouth pops open.

"A teddy bear?"

"Yup" I giggle and suddenly he grabs me and pins me with my back against the wall while he grabs my wrists and holds them above my head with one hand.

"Still not intimidated?" he smirks, but this is no longer funny I can feel my palms getting sweaty and it is getting difficult to breathe. _Oh no, not now!_

"Jesus Ana. What is wrong, hey ... hey look at me. I was just joking. Come on, breath Ana." Christian begs but he is still holding me against the wall and I feel my lunch coming up. I manage to shove aside and reach the wastebasket just in time to throw up.

When there is nothing left in my stomach I rest my head on my forearm

"Do you want me to call my mom? What happened Ana, are you sick?" Christian sounds so worried that I look up and in this moment I just don't want to lie anymore. I don't want anymore lies and secrets in my life, I'm just tired of it.

"Can you help me upstairs, I need to brush my teeth and I need to tell you something."

Christian carries me upstairs into the guest room I am staying in, I quickly brush my teeth in the en suite bathroom and when I return to the guest room I sit indian style in the bed and lean against the headboard, while Christian sits down on the edge of the bed.

"I guess I don't have to ask you if you remember when you ran into me at John's office?"

"What has John to do with you being sick, Ana?"

"I wasn't sick Christian, what you just witnessed was me having a panic attack, that is why I am seeing John." I watch Christian as he comprehends what I have just told him and he looks really worried.

"You mean you have those often?"

"I have them since I started high school, I was just better in hiding it from my family and friends. The only persons other than John and now you who knows about it is Elliot, he witnessed one a couple of weeks ago."

Christian gets up and runs both hands through his hair. "Wait, are you telling me that you suffer from panic attacks for almost 7 years and no one noticed it?"

"Yes. It doesn't really happen around my family, it's ... complicated. John thinks the trigger is me feeling cornered, to me it seems more random and sometimes when I feel like a situation should be a trigger it doesn't happen."

"How did it start?"

"Middle school graduation, when I was supposed to give a speech and couldn't do it. Well... you were there and saw it, so no need to explain what happened. Though, I guess it really started in my freshman year in high school. Some kids filmed me when I threw up on the principal, by now it's a classic on YouTube. Anyway, I went to a different school than Mia and Kate and I knew no one there, but they all knew me. Let's just say high school wasn't exactly a pleasant experience for me. I spent most of the time hiding in the restroom or trying to avoid being noticed by anyone. One day some assholes cornered me and pushed me around and I had a panic attack. It kind of went from there."

"Fuck, why didn't you tell me or Cooper or Elliot or your parents, fuck I would have killed those assholes!"

"Christian when all of that happened you had just dropped out of Harvard and you were in enough trouble with your parents, I didn't want to bother you with my shit and I ... I don't know, I thought with time things would get better... now I know that was a poor decision. Anyway, I thought maybe things would become better for me in college, but by that time my panic attacks were already to intense to just go away. In the last year it got so bad not a day went by where I wouldn't throw up at least once or twice. My dentist thought I had bulimia because my teeth and gums were irritated from all the vomiting. I... I went to get my blood work done and my doctor told me that the results were so bad I wouldn't make it another year if nothing would change. That really scared me and so I started to see John. Going to Europe was his idea. Just leave everything behind and live in the moment for a while. It saved my life. I had only one panic attack in six months and I started to challenge myself, did things I never thought I could do and I took the piano and singing lessons, because I feel that now I am strong enough to face my fears, that maybe by doing the things I fear the most I can overcome those panic attacks once and for all."

"But they came back when you came home, right?"

"Yes, I had a couple of panic attacks since I am back."

I look at Christian and I know what he is thinking even before he says it. "It started with me, right? The way I've treated you brought them back?"

"Yes, but it's not your fault. I've talked to John about it and the thing is that going to Europe was what I needed to recover physically. It didn't help with the reason for my panic attacks."

"But you didn't have them while you were away."

"Yes, because in Europe I was a nobody. No one really noticed me, I had no obligations and most of the time I was alone. I just avoided situations where I could have a panic attack, if your behavior would not have triggered them it would have been something else. Don't blame yourself for Christian."

"How? How can I not blame myself, Ana? I behaved so terribly towards you and you didn't do anything wrong."

"You are not the only who triggered a panic attack, Elliot did too. You have to understand that this is not about you Christian. It's about me. I need to find a way to overcome this and I am the one who made things worse by keeping it to myself for so long. Actually, that is most likely one of the reason why it even got so bad. Had I talked to my parents right away I could have transferred to another school and seen a therapist back then. But I kept it to myself, because I thought I was old enough to deal with things myself, when in reality I was just a scared child and I only now fully understand that I have made the wrong choices back then and that's why I still have to deal with those panic attacks now. And I am sure that if you had known that I'm suffering from panic attacks you would have behaved differently. I guess John is right when he says that I have to start communicating, because I really feel better after telling Elliot and now you."

"Is John really helping you? I could find another psychiatrist to help you... what ever you need just tell me."

"I need you to not freak out over this, because it is making me anxious and I need to nap a little, so I am fit for tonight. Can you do this for me?"

He takes a deep breath and sighs. "Fine, I can try to do that."

"Thank you, and please don't tell anyone else. You can talk with Elliot or John about it, but I would like to tell my family myself. I just wanted to wait until after the anniversary."

"Sure, do you need anything now?"

"No, just a nap and maybe something to eat later."

He nods and then frowns. "Wait, are your panic attacks the reason why you were so thin before you left for Europe?"

usually when I have a panic attack I end up vomiting, so I lost a weight and couldn't gain it back... that was one of the reason my doctor was so concerned, I was highly malnourished."

"Would you mind if I would call John and ask him for ways to support you?"

"No, actually tell him he can talk openly with you. If I have to stay here much longer it might come in handy if you know what to do when I have a panic attack."

"Good, thank you."

I smile at Christian and he leaves the room while I curl up in bed to rest a little.

_**Christian**_

Fuck, if I have felt like an asshole before, now I feel even worse. Ana might think that it's not my fault that her panic attacks started again, but I sure as hell feel that way. And how could she hide this from all of us for 7 fucking years? Well, I guess I shouldn't ask that question, after all I managed to hide what happened between Elena and I as well as my lifestyle for 13 years. But still, this has to stop now, she needs help and I will do whatever it takes to make sure that she will get better. Downstairs I find Gail cleaning the kitchen.

"Gail, Ana was sick, would you mind preparing a snack for her so she has something to eat once she has taken a nap."

"Of course, Sir. Do you want me to make a tea for her?"

"Yes, that would be good. Just place it on her nightstand."

I walk into my study and call Andrea to contact some beauty technicians to come here this afternoon and after that I decide to call John, but I only get his mailbox. Damn it, I need to talk to him, now, but I guess now I'll have to wait until tonight, when I see him at the party. One thing is for sure though, I won't leave Ana out of my sight. If Elena wants to hurt her, she will have to deal with me first.

"Hey bro, still working?" Elliot has popped his head into my study and I shake my head.

"No, do you have a minute?"

"Sure, is everything alright... fuck did you throw up in here?" he asks and scrunches his nose as he enters my study.

"No, Ana did. She had a panic attack."

"Fuck, not again... wait you know? And what the hell have you done to her now?" he hisses and I roll my eyes at him.

"Yes, I know and I have done nothing, well not intentionally. We were talking and she said I couldn't intimidate her so I pinned her against the wall and she panicked. Christ, I had no idea what was going on and then she told me. I am such an asshole, she was better when she came back from Europe and I made things worse again."

Elliot gets himself a whisky and opens the balcony doors. "Look, you fucked up, big time. But if you beat yourself up over it you are going to give Ana anxiety. I only witnessed this three times, but in my opinion the best way to help her is to stay calm and tell her to breathe and that there is nothing she has to panic about. She is doing therapy, which also helps her, but you have to understand that she let this go on for almost 7 years before she decided to seek help. So, it will take time for her to get over it, maybe even medication, but she is not at a point where she wants to consider medication. I know you like to be in control of everything, but you can't control this. All you can do is take care of her when it happens."

"I get that, but I want to do something so she doesn't have them anymore." I start to pace just thinking about it. If she has those panic attacks on a regular basis and with all the throwing up, how much nutrition can she get? Damn it, I knew something about her being so skinny wasn't right, but I just thought it's this fucking trend for girls to have size zero.

"Bro, there is not much you can do about it except for making sure not to trigger one. I looked it up online and from what I could find Ana suffers from what is called panic or anxiety disorder. It's a mental disease and Ana is on a good way, she realised that she is in need of help and she is seeing John, now she is starting to open up about it which is also helping. All we can do is to give her our full support. Like it or not, there is not much we can do otherwise."

"Fuck, I hate this Elliot, I absolutely fucking hate it. How could we not notice that Ana is wasting away right in front of us? You know what I want to do? I want to find those assholes from her highschool and beat the shit out of them." I hiss and Elliot smirks.

"Why the fuck are smirking?"

"Because I have already taken care of them. To put it in terms you are familiar with I fucked them over." he says and I frown.

"How?"

"When Ana stayed at my place after your monumental fuck up, I talked to Ana and she told me the names of those guys who bullied her all through highschool. Turns out the two who were the worst studied to become an architect. So, I made sure that the one who already got a job got his ass fired and the other asshole won't even find a job anywhere in this state." he says and I smirk, sometimes we really think the same way.

"Good, but I still want their names." I say and Elliot writes them down for me.

"So, is Ana on her way to Bellevue?"

"No, Elena was seen at Bellevue, Taylor and I agreed that we wouldn't let her go there until later. Mia, Kate and Anya are coming over and I have some beauty technicians coming here to get them ready for tonight. Ana is upstairs taking a nap."

4 hours later Elliot and I are ready to leave, but the girls are still upstairs even though we have to leave and they beauty technicians have left over 30 minutes ago. What the hell is taking them so long, I hate being late.

"Jesus Christ, how long can it take to get ready, if they are not down here in five minutes I will drag them out of here by their hair if I have to" Elliot mutters. Yep, my brother hates waiting as much as I do. But thank fuck, finally we hear their chatter and giggles coming closer and as they are coming down the stairs and I see Ana my mouth pops open. Hell, if she is not the most beautiful woman in this world. In her dress it almost looks like she is floating down the stairs and with her make up and her hair artfully put in a updo she looks like a fairy. A mythical creature to beautiful for a simple human being to be worthy of.

"Christ bro, close your mouth, you are drooling" Elliot mumbles and I snap my mouth shut.

"How do we look?" Mia asks with a big smile.

"Ladies, you all look mighty fine tonight, so let's get this show on the road or we are going to be late." Elliot says and because we won't fit into one car, I ride with Ana and Anya, while Elliot is in the car with Mia and Kate.

"Sir, Taylor informed me that security is in place, the property is safe" Ryan who is driving tells me and I nod.

"I don't know why everyone is freaking out about Elena, I would kick that old witch to her ass if I would see her, urgh I never liked her." Anya says and I smirk, that girl sure has some balls, though I suppose it's her age that makes her say what ever is on her mind.

"You will do no such thing. Do you hear me Anya Theresa Steele? If you happen to see Elena you will call the cops or let security handle this" Ana scolds her and fuck me, she sounds like a mom, though I have to admit something about her using that tone is hot.

"Why not? Oh whatever. Do you think Justin is going to like me in this dress. He is so cute Ana, we have french and biology together and every girl wants to date him... I still can't believe I had the nerve to ask him to be my date for tonight and he said yes"

"Anya you look so pretty he is going to love the way you look tonight, but just a tip, never tell a guy you think he is cute, if anything tell him he is looking handsome."

"Why? A couple of years ago I heard you talk with Mia and Kate and you told them that you think Christian is really cute... ouch, stop pinching me!" Anya exclaims while Ana turns beet red and sinks deeper into her seat looking anywhere but at me.

"She really said that Christian and..."

"For the love of god, Anya shut up. Christ you have no filter, you got that from mom!" Ana pouts and I can't help but chuckle.

"Well Anya, I happen to think that your sister is really cute, too. Especially when she blushes like she does now" I chuckle.

"I know, you look at her like a love-sick puppy. Man, being a grown up must suck. Really you two; just start to date already, what's the big deal? If not I will decorate a room full of mistletoes on Christmas and lock you two inside so you have no choice but to kiss" Anya bubbles and I frown. Am I really that obvious? _Fuck yes, you are Grey and you know it!  
_  
The rest of the ride goes by in silence and when we arrive Ana rushes to the party planner to talk to her while the rest of us meets up with our family and friends. After thirty minutes we are all in the tent and Ray and Carla greet everyone. After that Cooper holds a speech for his parents and Carla's father gives a speech as well. Because Ana and I both came without a date I am seated at her table as her date, which I appreciate as I can make sure that I will never leave Ana out of sight.

Dinner is served and Carla praises Ana for her choice and I have to agree every course is delicious, but I can see that Ana is getting really nervous as the dessert is served so I lean over to her to whisper in her ear.

"You will do amazing. Don't worry, you can do this, just have a little faith in yourself. If you get nervous on stage just look at me and imagine we are alone here like this morning at Escala" I whisper and the smile she gives me in answer is breath-taking. After the dessert Ana excuses herself and makes her way to the stage. She takes the microphone and everyone looks at her expectantly.

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. As most of you know I am Ray's and Carla's daughter, Anastasia. I want to thank all of you for coming here tonight to celebrate my parent's 30th wedding anniversary. I could bore all of you with a very long speech, but the fact is I could speak all evening and it still wouldn't be enough time to tell just how wonderful my parents are and how inspiring and amazing it was for me as well as for my siblings to grow up with such wonderful parents who still after being together since their early teenage years are hopelessly in love. So, instead of talking about their life and love, I have decided to show you all how wonderful they truly are, but before I do I have to share a little story.

My parents share a great love for music. My mom has a very beautiful singing voice and growing up I loved to listen to her sing while my dad would play the guitar. They both hoped that at least one of their children would inherited their musicality, but sadly my siblings and I love to listen to music, but never had any interest in learning how to play an instrument or learn how to sing. So, tonight instead of giving them a gift, I decided to show them that they did pass their musicality on. Mom Dad, this is for you."

Ana takes a deep breath and goes to the piano. I hear Carla gasp and see her grasp Ray's hand as Ana nods to the party planner. Suddenly the drapery on the walls of the tent is let down and we all see that there are video walls all around the tent and as Ana plays the first chords of _**Your Song **_the video walls start to show picture and short sequences of family videos, showing Carla and Ray as teenagers, getting married, on their honey moon, with their kids and so on. It's amazing and as I look back to Ana and our eyes meet and I nod letting her silently know that she is doing great.

The moment the video stops and Ana finishes Carla rushes on the stage sobbing and hugs Ana tightly while everyone in the tent starts to applaud and is giving Ana a standing ovation. After she is back at the table her dad hugs her too and if I am not mistaken even Ray is a little choked up. Carla and Ray dance the first dance, then he dances with Ana and when it's Anya's turn to dance with him I seize my opportunity and ask Ana for the next dance. It's a slow love song, one that I have heard before but can't place.

"_**Forever tonight**_" Ana says and I frown.

"The name of the song, you looked like you were thinking about the name of the song."

"You know me so well, Miss Steele and you were amazing on stage."

"Thank you, I am so glad I did it. My mom loved it, though I guess now I have to learn some more songs, as she will probably force me to sing a lot more." Ana says and looks uncomfortable.

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to do and once you told your parents about... you know, I don't think they are going to pressure you into anything."

"I hope so, let's not talk about this tonight. I want to enjoy this evening and not think about anything unpleasant."

"As you wish, have I told you that you are looking very beautiful tonight?"

"You did now, thank you and you are looking quite handsome tonight."

I can't resist."Not cute?" I smirk and she blushes.

"Maybe" she says then with a shy smile and I can't stop looking at her at beautiful face. In this moment there is nothing I want more than to kiss her. I can't help it I lean in closer making my intentions perfectly clear. Ana nods slowly and as our lips almost touch someone taps on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry son, but I want to dance with Ana, too." My dad smirks and I glare at him. _Fuck, really Dad? _Since this is not the time to argue I step aside and hear Ana giggle as my Dad swirls her around while I dance with my mom.

I try to keep my eyes on Ana, but when Mia pulls me away to introduce me to a friend of hers I lose sight of Ana. When I finally manage to excuse myself I look around, but Ana is nowhere to be seen so I look for Elliot and find him talking to Kate. I make my way to them and pull Elliot with me.

"Where is she?" I hiss.

"Who?"

"Ana god damn it, I can't find her!"

"Chill, Cooper asked her to take a walk with him. He finally came to his senses and feels really shitty, so they are talking it out now."

Hearing Elliot say that I relax a little. Cooper might be a stubborn ass most of the time, but he would protect his sisters with his life.

"Sir?" I turn around when I hear Taylor's voice and one look at him tells me that something is wrong.

"What is it, Taylor?"

"We have a problem, the three cops that were watching the waterfront, they are gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

"We can't find them, I have the guys that were inside the house looking for them, but I would recommend to get Miss Steele and leave. For all that we know Mrs. Lincoln could be here."

"Fuck! Elliot, come on we need to find Ana, Elena is here" I snap and we run out of the tent and look around but Ana is nowhere to be seen and then I hear it. First a gun shot and then Ana screaming. Taylor, Elliot, I and three of the other security guys run as fast as we can in the direction where the scream came frown and then I see it, my worst nightmare right in front of me. Ana is on the ground crying and holding Cooper in her arms and Elena is aiming her gun at Ana's head.

I am running so fast I feel like my heart is trying to escape my chest and my lungs are burning, but I can't let this happen. I'd give everything I own away in a heartbeat, but I can't live in a world without Ana. Suddenly there is another gunshot and for one awful second I think it was Elena who has shot Ana, but then I see Elena stumbling towards the sound and before Taylor has the chance to aim at her again that fucking bitch jumps into the sound.

I reach Ana and drop to my knees next to her. She is completely hysterical trying to stop the gushing of blood that is coming Cooper's shoulder.

"Elliot get mom, now. He is losing too much blood, someone get an ambulance" I yell and pull Ana away, so my security can help Cooper until my mom arrives, but Ana is so hysterical she tries to break free of my hold to get back to her brother screaming and kicking.

"Ana! Ana, look at me" I cup her face between my palms so she has to look at me. "Let Taylor and the others help Cooper, they are trained for situations like this, my mom is coming and an ambulance is on the way. Please, try to calm down, please."

"I ... she shot him... he was trying to protect me and she shot him" Ana cries and I pull her into a tight hug.

"I know, but Cooper is strong. He will pull through this." I whisper into her ear and Ana goes limp in my arms. I look at her, sit down on the ground making sure she just passed out and is still breathing. When I find her pulse almost normal, I sigh in relief and watch almost in a daze as my mom arrives and the ambulance a couple of minutes after her with the police, but I continue to hold Ana in my arms. As long as I hold her in my arms she is safe and I silently vow to myself that I will never leave her out of sight ever again...

_**A little trivia about this chapter, I actually had three versions of the last scene. In one Elliot was shot, one where Christian was shot and the one I posted where Cooper was shot... maybe I post the others as outtakes once the story is complete... **_


End file.
